I Wanna Be Yours
by CileSuns92
Summary: Meredith Grey is a badass, tough-as-nails attending working at Seattle Grace Hospital. Derek Shepherd is a new intern, who delayed his residency to take care of his 5-year-old son - AU for people who don't like extreme AU - My 2015 NaNoWriMo project. Slow updates, sorry!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, and honestly, I don't even care at this point. Shonda Rhimes can keep what's left of it.**

* * *

 **A/N: Hello, Happy New Year! And a new year means new stories!**

 **This is my NaNoWriMo story, the one you voted for with a poll as the one I should be writing. I'm still developing it and it's not all written down as I thought I'd end up doing, but I promised you I'd start publishing in December, and even if it has taken me longer than expected, I think it's time to put this story out in the open. I hope you'll enjoy.**

 **By the way, the title and the partial lyrics in italics under it are from _I Wanna Be Yours_ by _Arctic Monkeys,_ which is also inspired by a poem by John Cooper Clarke with the same title. Both are worth a listen.**

 ** **This is an AU for people who don't really enjoy AUs, even if I did add my own twist to the whole storyline. It'** s basically a reversed version of S1, where Meredith is the attending and Derek the intern, though it's not that simple. I will loosely follow the show's timeline, but I won't stick to it religiously, so I'm sorry if scenes you loved were cut out. **

**Also, I have no Beta for this one, every mistake and every word that somehow doesn't make sense, it's all mine. Feel free to tell me when you see horrible mistakes and I'll edit them.**

 **Happy reading!**

* * *

 **I Wanna Be Yours**

 _I wanna be your vacuum cleaner_  
 _Breathing in your dust_  
 _I wanna be your Ford Cortina_  
 _I won't ever rust_  
 _If you like your coffee hot_  
 _Let me be your coffee pot_  
 _You call the shots babe_  
 _I just wanna be yours_

 _Secrets that I have held in my heart_  
 _Are harder to hide than I thought_  
 _Maybe I just wanna be yours_

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

* * *

"Have you heard? Dr. Grey is not only the youngest attending on staff here, her mother is Ellis freaking Grey."

"Chief Grey? Grey Method, Ellis Grey?" one of the people in the room prods, asking for more, more, more.

Derek can't help but hear everything the people in the locker room are gossiping about while he changes out of his clothes.

First time in scrubs, and they can't even appreciate the glorious moment, shadowing the excitement with mindless chatting. He enjoys quiet, and silence, and time to take it all in, but apparently they do not.

"Man, I heard people call her Medusa," another voice speaks, more self-assured and confident this time.

"Chief Grey or Dr. Grey?"

"Dr. Grey. Ellis Grey is just...You don't cross the Chief." The voice of another one of his co-workers peaks from the hum of closing lockers and shuffled fabrics.

"How old is the daughter, really?"

"Thirty-one, so I've heard. She did some kind of advanced residency and got board certified before the rest of her class. Probably skipped a couple of grades too, I suppose. I think she's one of the youngest neurosurgeons _ever_."

Derek's smile falters. He's thirty-five, and he's an intern. Of course there are reasons for this, reasons that make him smile widely and make him feel grateful he has gotten another chance, but he still feels old as he glances around the room. These people can't be more than twenty-six themselves. Maybe he will find a loophole into the Chief's conditions for his comeback and find a way to skip ahead.

"I'd kill to be Dr. Meredith Grey right now."

He studies the kids around him –what Dr. Webber defined his competition while he gave them a tour– wondering what are their talents, really. They don't look all that talented.

There's a sour-faced Asian girl, wild black hair sticking out of the ponytail she has been trying to tie for the past five minutes, a motorcycle helmet peeking from her locker. Next to her, a guy who looks like a jock, acts like a jock, and doesn't seem to know the difference between a spleen and a gallbladder. Of course he's already harassing the only other woman in his line of sight, a tall, slender model-like blonde, curves exactly in the right places, glasses that look a little off on her. The only guy that smiles at him in his scrutiny is a kid who looks almost fresh out of pre-med, Bambi blue eyes and danger written on his forehead, since he drops his stethoscope three times before hanging it at his neck.

Why is he doing this again? Stupid, stupid idea.

"Patterson, Hank, Jones, Wesley. You're with Dr. Herron." A voice intrudes in the locker room, and the four people called up scramble out of the door trying to compose themselves and fix the last of their lab coats or scrubs.

"Karev, Stevens, O'Malley, Yang, Shepherd." Derek's senses are on alert, as he hears his name. He notices that the group of people he has stared at before is most likely the group of people he is going to be stuck with for the rest of his internship. Great, freaking great.

"Good luck, you're with Dr. Bailey. She's right down the hall," the resident announces with a smirk, pointing mindlessly to where said Dr. Bailey is supposed to be.

"Man, The Nazi?" The Jock moans.

"Who's The Nazi?" Bambi's eyes flicker around, frightened.

" _That's_ The Nazi?" Motorcycle Girl's frown deepens, if that is even possible, as their eyes meet the figure of The Nazi.

With a dazzling and welcoming smile on her face, Blonde Model sticks out her hand, dangling it in front of a plump, short, African-American woman. "Hi, I'm Isobel Stevens, but people call me Izzie."

The Nazi doesn't seem impressed in the least.

"I've got five rules, memorize them. Rule number one, don't bother sucking up, I already hate you, and that's not gonna change." Her eyes burn holes into Izzie's, and the blonde clenches her hand in a fist, stunned into silence. "Trauma protocols, pagers," she continues, merely nodding towards the nurses' station, "When the nurses page you, you answer at a run." Bambi swallows thickly, and Derek is sure he can almost see him tremble as he reaches for his device and booklets on the counter. "And run, that's rule number two."

They scramble around the hospital some more, passing a beautiful catwalk with a view of Mount Rainier, a view he's sure he won't be able to enjoy much if they keep up with this rhythm for the length of their first forty-eight hours of shift.

"You're interns, bottom of the surgical food chain. You ran labs and scuts and you don't complain. You work until you drop."

Yeah, he remembers the condition Mark and Addison came back home in after their shifts up till their residency, though he hadn't looked any better at the time either.

"On call rooms." Bailey stops, slamming open a door and revealing a room with a couple of bunk beds, scarcely furnished, pastel colors on the walls and the beds. "Beds are for sleeping, but attendings hog them. Which brings me to rule number three: when I sleep, you don't wake me up, unless the patient is actually dying. If the patient is already dead when I get there, not only you would have killed him, you would have woken me up for no good reason." Derek wants to chuckle, but he keeps himself in check. She might have his neck if he chuckles. "Are we clear?"

Dr. Bailey surely means business indeed, except she's missing something.

Derek clears his throat, winning a murderous glance his way.

"What?"she barks.

"You said five rules, those were only four," he admits, bracing himself for an onslaught of rage from the short woman.

She starts a strange staring contest with him, almost challenging him to repeat it, but he's lucky her pager shrieks, saving him from certain death.

"Rule number five, when I move, you move."

Bailey is already jogging down the corridor before she finishes the sentence.

* * *

"Are you crazy?" Motorcycle Girl hisses as they wear their protective garments outside the helicopter bay, trying his gown.

"Uh?" he frowns, amused by the serious look on the woman's face. She seems unable to crack a smile.

"You don't cross Bailey. What's your name? I need to know what to write on your grave."

Derek chuckles, winning another murderous look from Bailey. "Shepherd. Derek Shepherd."

"Cristina Yang," she supplies curtly. "Your mommy might get a call from me really soon if you keep that up."

"You know, I have to agree with her, dude." The Jock makes a face, almost as if it pains him to agree with Cristina. "I'm Alex, Karev."

Derek guesses that the one fidgeting with his gown is O'Malley, then. He helps him out, winning a sincere, grateful smile. He reminds him of another little boy he knows quite well.

"Thank you. I'm George."

"You're welcome," Derek says, slapping his back lightly.

They all seem like decent people. They don't give away medical degrees to anyone after all, maybe they're even nice. Only time will tell.

"Landing!" Bailey calls out, rolling the gurney to the helipad, where a medevac is making its way down. A patient coming in like this surely looks promising.

"Katie Bryce, fifteen-year-old female, intermittent seizures for the past week and started grand mal seizing while descending," says the paramedic, as they roll the gurney inside.

The rush of the emergency fills his veins as they run to the ER like there's no tomorrow, people parting the way much like the Red Sea with Moses. Katie's body is shaking uncontrollably on the bed akin to the trouts he likes to catch with Mark, wriggling and dying as they touch dry land. It's morbid of him, but he can't think about the fifteen-year-old girl whose body is seizing if he wants to keep himself sane. Trouts have to do.

Bailey barks orders to them as they try to stabilize her vitals; they all sigh in relief when the diazepam is in and she stops seizing, her body relaxing in a way that seems almost unnatural.

"We have to shotgun her. Shepherd, start with a CT and CBC for Katie. O'Malley, patients' work-ups. Yang, you're on labs. Karev, discharges," Bailey orders.

"What about me?" Izzie pipes up, excited.

"Honey, you get to do rectal exams." Bailey smirks, and Derek knows that maybe speaking up might have given him his first real case.

Life feels pretty awesome.

* * *

 **A/N: So, I hope I didn't completely waste my November writing this.**

 **I hope you enjoyed, and hopefully you'll follow me through this journey. Thank you for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I wanted to update on Sunday, I really did, but your love for the very first chapter and the interest you already have pushed me to reveal a bit more. So, this is it...**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

* * *

"Are you lost?"

Katie's voice makes Derek use all his powers of self-control not to smack her in the back of her head.

 _She's a child and she's injured, keep your hands on the gurney_.

She so deserves a smack.

"I'm not lost."

"You are! You might look like that, but no one is giving you a second glance," Katie snickers, and he is really, really close to killing her. Or he can let her die, yeah, that can work. "You're so lost."

Derek growls, turning the gurney into a hallway that looks strangely familiar.

"Do you think I will be able to watch Kelly Alcott fall on her ass on cable TV or we have to ride around this hospital for the next three hours before you put me into a machine?" Katie whines. "Is this your first day or something?"

Derek decides that it's better to ignore her than to poke the beast more.

"Hey, are you deaf?"

"Ms. Bryce," he sighs, trying to sound calm and collected.

"Wow, you sound like my teacher now."

Okay, that's enough. Interesting case or not, she's just a pain in the ass. He groans, hopefully loudly enough that she gets the message.

"For the CT and MRI it's the first aisle on the right, straight through." A tall, slender man with nurses' scrubs directs him, his dark eyes shimmering with amusement. "Nurse Tyler at your service."

Derek smiles gratefully, feeling himself blush. That man is his new hero. He needs to buy him coffee as a thank you or something similar.

"See, totally lost," Katie giggles, winning a glare from Derek. "I can't believe that I fell and now this. I need to be at that pageant; I can't let Kelly Alcott win."

"What's your talent?" he asks, wishing with all his might that if she talks about the stupid pageant she'll become slightly more pleasant. Maybe he just opened a can of worms, though.

"Rhythmic gymnastics."

"I see." He tries to be supportive, he really does, but her rants are wearing his nerves thin, and he has a long couple of days ahead of him.

"It's a pretty smart move. Nobody else does it..."

Katie's voice becomes just a hum as she goes on and on about her talents and her enemies' talents and the place and...his mind is numb.

He's grateful when they leave her in the CT machine and she has to shut up.

Quiet bliss. Just the hum of the scan working, and the light whistle of the technician. He should be polite and ask the guy's name, but Katie's chatting has drained him of all his social skills.

"That kid must be something." The tech smirks almost knowingly, and Derek chuckles at his amusement.

"You have no idea."

"First day?"

"I look lost, right?" Derek sighs and the guy laughs, their eyes watching as the image shows up on the screen.

"All looks clear," the tech announces.

"Strange." Derek frowns, this girl turning out to be more and more puzzling by the minute. "She's the picture of health, and she's having seizures. Something is not right."

"Well, it's up to you doctors to figure it out now," the tech shrugs, handing him the test results.

Derek sighs. Maybe he should have continued his job an assistant cook at the Italian restaurant where he worked for the past four years to put food on the table. Being a surgeon is the stupidest idea he could ever had.

He brings Katie back to her room, grateful for the sedative she has required to stay still. He knows he has to enjoy the quiet until it lasts.

He brings the results straight to Dr. Bailey, and his resident looks puzzled as she peruses through the results, her frown deepening. Derek is pretty sure he's about to be beheaded or eaten alive for not bringing the results she was hoping for.

"This is peculiar," she mumbles to herself, disappearing down the aisle and leaving him alone in the room, staring at a stirring Katie.

He's about to make himself scarce as well, when a couple flies in the room like bats out of hell – his own private hell. They crowd around Katie, touching her and rousing her from sleep, treating her like a china doll.

Parents. Yeah, they are a category of their own.

"Can you please tell us what's going on?" Mrs. Bryce pleads, stroking Katie's hair gently.

"She's been here for hours, you should know something by now," Mr. Bryce fuels, his stance possessive as he stands in front of Derek, looking exhausted and sad.

"I will go get you Katie's doctor. I mean, I am a doctor, but not her doctor, so..." Derek stutters, sounding stupid even to his own ears. Assistant cook was such a nice, funny job.

Mr. Bryce glares at him as Derek swiftly slides backwards out of the room, scampering away as quickly as he can in search of Dr. Bailey.

"Dr. Bailey!" he shouts, running after the woman. She's quick, for having such short legs. Bailey almost murders him on the spot with a look as he approaches her. "Katie's parents have questions, can you answer them or should I get the Trauma attending?" He can't remember the guy's name, since he barely saw him in the room, but he knows the ginger guy is the one responsible for Katie over Bailey's head.

Dr. Bailey stares him down, and he feels self-conscious of his every movement. "Oh, Dr. Hunt is off the case, Dr. Grey is taking over. Meredith Grey." Bailey actually smirks as she lifts up her eyes, pointing her finger. "She's over there."

When Derek looks up, he hears the most perfect giggle, belonging to a petite young woman, her dirty blond hair swaying in her ponytail as she jokes with two other doctors, sharing the findings on a chart.

He swallows thickly, his heart skipping a beat. How can that fairy be Medusa is beyond him. These people have way too much time on their hands to create nicknames.

Derek looks for a beat more at her delicate features, at the way her eyes brighten while she laughs, or the way her curves seem to be all in their rightful places even in scrubs.

Man, he has an instant crush on Medusa.

He approaches her and discretely clears his throat as he holds out a chart in front of him like a shield. Her beautiful dancing eyes darken to a dull gray as they meet his, her posture stiffens, her stance immediately professional.

"Who are you?" she asks coldly, but boy, her voice is melodious.

"Dr. Shepherd."

"The intern on Katie Bryce's case, I presume." She studies him head to toe, a small smile on her lips. Okay, she's finding his weak spot, he's about to die. He's not going to survive the next forty hours.

"I am, Dr. Grey."

"What do you want?" Her voice has all the authority that even some of the most seasoned surgeons don't posses. Clearly, being a neurosurgeon comes with the ego.

"Her parents have questions," he begins tentatively, and he almost winces at the face she makes.

"So?"

"They want to talk to you, Ma'am." Another wince.

"Are you incapable of telling them that we're still running tests or do you need me to hold your hand through it and cheer you at the end of your sentence?" Her voice is filled with distaste and annoyance, and he feels a good inch shorter now, even if she's wearing Chucks and she has to look up when she growls at him.

"I..."

"This is not kindergarten, Shepherd, it's a teaching hospital. I'm pretty sure you're fluent in talking by now."

"Sorry, Dr. Grey."

"Oh, and, Shepherd?"

Derek wants to cry at this point. He wants to hide behind the corner and pretend this never happened. This woman just belittled him like he has never been belittled before. Not even the most awful temper tantrum has prepared him for this feeling of helplessness.

"Yes, Ma'am?"

"Never, under any circumstance, call me 'Ma'am' again."

He feels her eyes burn holes into the back of his skull as he retreats with his head bowed down, his eyes on the tiles, wishing the ground could swallow him.

She might be hot, but she's Medusa indeed. Hot and dangerous.

He already needs to lie down.

He goes back to Katie's room to brief her parents, as they keep firing question after question he only has one answer for: we don't know. And he feels awful for it. He has heard that answer many times when he was in their shoes, and it pissed him off beyond belief. He can't believe he's the one saying these things to them now. Karma is having a field day with him today.

Derek gladly goes down to the cafeteria for his lunch break when midday comes, wishing that food could provide him a small escape from the hell he is in already. He grabs a stale sandwich and a salad, with a bottle of water and an apple, before he looks around the room to find a spot.

Now he's having a high school throwback.

Attendings sit on their own, their navy scrubs creating blobs of color different from the tables of the green-clad nurses, the salmon-y gynecologists and the light blue residents. He's grateful when he sees a few familiar faces eating at a table with an empty seat.

He carefully plops down on the empty chair at the top of the interns table, waiting for someone to direct him to a different table, but nothing happens.

"God, I can't eat," Izzie moans, eying her tray with utter disgust.

"It's a marathon, not a sprint. Eat!" George orders in his best doctor voice.

"You try eating after performing eighteen rectal exams. Eighteen."

Well, maybe her karma is a little more pissed off than his, he should be grateful for Izzie, giving him perspective.

"Good afternoon, interns." They all hear a professional, blank tone greet them, just a little excitement bleeding into the last word.

When he looks up, Ellis Grey is walking towards them in her pencil skirt and lab coat in all her chiefly glory, her smile almost non-existent. She has the same eyes her daughter has, he notices, then ponders for the remaining seconds of quiet why has he noticed such a thing.

"As many of you are aware of the tradition, each year we pick the most promising intern on their very first day to perform – start to finish – a relatively easy procedure, supervised by an attending." She looks around the table in a very teacher-like stance, forcing Derek to keep his eyes low on the table. He feels like he's in the principal's office once again, but this time Mark is not next to him. "This year we picked George O'Malley. You're scrubbing in with me in OR 3 at two sharp. Don't be late."

Derek's eyes lift up to see a very stunned George with eyes wide as saucers, and an equally stunned Izzie, while Cristina is already plotting her revenge against him in her head. Alex completely ignores the announcement, diving back into his food. Derek feels relieved he won't be the one performing the very first surgery, with all eyes on him. He has heard people whispering about him already, and he doesn't want to have any more attention brought on himself. He likes living in the shadows.

His pager beeps at his hip, and his eyes widen when he sees a 911. "Crap!" he blurts, frozen for a second.

"Go, we'll take care of your tray," Izzie kindly offers, before he bolts to Katie's room.

He reaches her room breathless, only to find her quietly reading a magazine, huffing as he shows up.

"Took you long enough?"

Derek is sure his mouth is hanging wide open by now. "You're okay?"

"I'm bored. And this place has crappy TV reception. I need to see the pageant, it's a matter of life or death!" she whines. "I can't let Kelly Abbott steal my crown!"

Derek pushes her back on the bed, checking her vitals to pretend he's doing something medical requiring his page, though he's a little more brusque than usual.

"You know, there are sick, dying people here. I'm not your chauffeur or a cruise director, I'm not your waiter, I'm your doctor."

"So?"

"I'm not a TV tech either. Do something else."

"But my head is all full."

Derek glares at her, as he makes his way outside the room. "That's called thinking. Go with it!"

He takes a deep breath when he's finally out of the room. He always has a way with kids, but Katie is the exception.

He spots Dr. Grey talking to Katie's parents in the hallway, and she looks completely different than how she looks when she talks to her subordinates. She has a gentle smile on her face, a reassuring tone, though Katie's parents are almost as bad as their daughter when it comes to manners and politeness. She's being even too kind for his liking. Maybe that's what makes her such a great doctor as well.

"I'm taking her somewhere else, Dr. Grey!" Mr. Bryce shouts, and Derek feels glad for a second, only to realize what that could mean for the hospital and Dr. Grey. Bad. Even if she's a pain in the ass, it's better if Katie is _their_ pain in the ass.

"I assure you, we are doing everything we can to make Katie feel better."

"This was supposed to be the best hospital on the West Coast! You were supposed to be the best, and instead you're a kindergartner who cuts into brains!" Mr. Bryce shouts, and Dr. Grey's eyes meet Derek's. She's glaring at him, and he knows it's his cue to leave.

He finds a haven in the tunnels, though when he gets there, his pack of interns minus Alex is already lounging there in between charts and labs, munching on various vending machines snacks.

"Surgery is hardcore, George. Geriatrics is for grown ups who still live with their mothers."

George groans. "I need to find my own place."

The women start giggling, as George fidgets with the wheelchair he's sitting on.

"Whoa, Shepherd is blushing," Cristina snickers, nudging her chin towards him. "He lives with his mommy too!"

Derek groans too. "I don't."

"Right," Izzie giggles.

"She just lives down the street from my house."

"Oh, so she just cooks for you and does your laundry," Cristina chortles. "Yeah, Derek lives with his mother."

"I can cook better than you think and she doesn't do my laundry." He slumps on the gurney, pretending to pout. "I do appreciate the free babysitting, though."

Everybody turns towards him with a question in their eyes, and he knows this is the moment when he'll start feeling either part of the pack, or a complete outsider.

He hates first days.

"You try keeping entertained a little boy for an entire day, and you'll appreciate it too."

"Is he...?" Izzie prompts.

"My son? Yeah." Derek smiles, despite everything else, picking out a picture from his phone and showing it to his friends. "His name is David. He'll be five in August. He's starting kindergarten in September."

"Look at those baby blues." Izzie coos, "And that smile!"

Derek's blush extends, though he's sporting a proud smile.

"Whoa, Mini Shepherd," Cristina comments, glancing over Izzie's shoulder at the photo, before passing it to George, who coos some nonsense as well.

"So your wife works a lot, too?" Izzie smiles, her eyes immediately falling on his empty ring finger, making him feel self conscious.

"I'm not married," Derek shrugs, glancing one last time at his phone with a soft smile before he puts it away. "It's just me and David."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Izzie blushes.

"Don't worry, she's not dead or anything. At least I hope she's not," he mutters the last part to himself, but they hear it anyway.

"Rough divorce?" George prods.

"We were never really together," Derek admits, his cheeks heating again. Way to make a good first impression.

"Wow, McDreamy. When I think you are boring, your rise," Cristina smiles smugly.

"What?" George looks at her puzzled.

"One night stand," Derek supplies. "I was an intern. A month before my intern exam, I found David on my doorstep, still with his hospital bracelet on, just a letter, his birth certificate with my name on it, the request for DNA testing, and a photo of his birth mother under the car seat."

"So nice of her," Cristina snickers.

"He changed my life. I left my internship, found a job, raised my boy..."

"And now you're back."

"Now I'm back," Derek admits with a shrug.

"Why did you wait?" Cristina frowns. "I mean, I get the first month or so, but four years?"

"David has Sensory Processing Disorder. It took me two and a half years to get him diagnosed, after multiple diagnosis of ADHD, Asperger's or autism. He's the one that makes me want to pursue Neuro, in fact. If I can figure him out, I can be a brain surgeon," he chuckles.

"You're in for a long ride, with many hoops," Cristina nods heavily. "That Meredith Grey is a tough cookie."

"She seems pretty competent, though," Derek admits. "At least she hasn't asked me to deliver coffee or pick up her dry cleaning like Mark does to his interns."

"Mark as in Mark Sloan?" Izzie yelps, and Derek sighs. Why does he have that effect on blondes?

"Yeah, we were in the same group of interns back in the day."

"He's a fellow already."

"Yeah, his first year."

"Must be tough on you," George commented, a look of sympathy in his gaze.

"I don't regret picking David over surgery," Derek admits, feeling a little self-conscious about his choice.

"What did you do, then?" Izzie asks, genuinely curious. She seems the friendliest of the bunch, really.

"Assistant chef in one of Seattle's finest restaurants." Derek winks. " _A Casa di Mario_ , do you know it?"

"Seriously?" Izzie yelps. "You need to tell me what's the secret ingredient of your chocolate cake, it's divine."

Derek laughs, as Cristina rolls her eyes. "It won't be a secret anymore if I tell you."

"You're mean, Derek."

Derek laughs, feeling that maybe, even if he's older and has a kid, they might still be something more than co-workers in the long run.

* * *

 **A/N: So, Derek met Medusa Grey, and you guys got a glimpse of David. I promise you'll get to see him soon. Soonish. Forty-eight-hour shifts are pretty long!**

 **I hope you'll stick around, and thank you for the love. I used to reply to each review singularly, but I probably won't do it anymore for this fic, unless you have questions. I can't keep up with everything, and I'm sure you prefer me writing more of the story instead of replying to your reviews.**

 **Again, I'm still a bit overwhelmed by the response, but by all means, keep that up!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Before we start, I want to say that I have nothing against rhythmic gymnastics. My characters sometimes don't reflect my own thoughts. Also, you finally get to be in Meredith's head for a bit. I hope you'll enjoy!  
**

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

* * *

Meredith Grey is hating this day with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns.

Okay, maybe only a hundred, but she hates New Interns Day.

She hates the stares and the whispering, the looks and the snickers that seem to follow her everywhere she goes. Last year, before her board certification, she just scheduled a very complex tumor resection, and spent the day in the OR. This year she doesn't have that luxury. She's stuck with a brat who thinks the world revolves around her and has no clue what real life is all about outside of her pageant bubble.

Stupid rhythmic gymnastic, or whatever her talent is.

Pageants! So many good neurons thrown to the wind.

Maybe she should have agreed with Steven, Thomas or whatever the guy's name was this morning when he suggested another round. Yeah, she should have caved. Instead, she gave him the 'when I'll come back, you won't be here' speech, and he left, tail between his legs.

He seemed like a decent guy though, of course one who isn't so used to one-night-stands like she is, and he was decent in bed. Or maybe she had the one tequila too many that makes everyone decent, she honestly doesn't care.

Meredith rubs the bridge of her nose, leaning back in her chair, studying the small cubicle she calls her office. In this case, she's glad her mother treated her like any first year fellow, though she's basically the one running the department. It's not like she needs her office much, unless it's for paperwork, so a closet-sized room is more than enough. It fits her desk and a couple of cabinets, two lockers, one for her clean scrubs, one for a change of clothes, her laundry basket, and a window. She doesn't need anything else, really.

There's a knock on her door, and for a second she hopes it's a ten car pile up on the freeway, then she feels bad for wishing harm on innocent people.

"Meredith," her mother's voice cuts through her thoughts, and the door closes with a warning slam.

She grumbles a greeting before she lifts her eyes from her paperwork. Today she doesn't have the energy to fight with her too. Interns are worse than kindergarten kids.

"I had a really interesting conversation with Mr. Bryce five minutes ago," Ellis states, seething, though she looks perfectly put together and confident.

"I probably had the same conversation fifteen minutes ago, only mine was surely filled with more colorful terms."

"Dr. Grey, I'm not amused."

"Don't you think I'm doing the best I can here, Dr. Grey?" Meredith spats, unable to help herself. "Every single test came back clean. She's driving me crazy!"

"I can ask someone else to take the case."

Meredith snorts. "Right."

"Dr. Grey!"

"Admit it, no one else can solve it, Chief."

Ellis takes a deep breath, willing herself not to snap, even though Meredith knows she's just one step away from it. "I have no idea how could I raise such a brat."

Meredith's eyes turn stony, blazing. "If you want to see a brat, go to the room where Mr. Bryce's daughter is staying. You'll have a field day."

"Meredith!"

"I'm doing the best I can. I'll figure it out. Now, if you excuse me," Meredith motions to somewhere outside of the door.

Ellis remains stunned for a second, as Meredith goes back to her paperwork, ignoring her. She stomps out of the room, and only then Meredith lets out a shaky sigh.

Not only the whole hospital belittles her, her own mother and Chief of Surgery doesn't believe in her abilities as a surgeon. She needs to dig up the books now, see if there's some kind of rare disorder or syndrome she's been missing all along, if only to prove her wrong.

She walks downstairs to the hospital library, whining at the sight of the Neurology section. It will take her days to go through it, and the only thing she knows about Katie is that she doesn't have days.

Someone bumps her shoulder, and she recognizes one of the new interns. She's about to yell at him something about respect, but she suddenly has a brilliant idea. She's so grateful she wants to hug the guy, only his face still has pimples and he looks like he's barely old enough to drive.

She exits the library and asks the nurses to page all the interns to the conference room down the hall, winning a long, puzzled look to which she only replies with a glare before she storms off.

She goes back to her office, picks up Katie's chart, makes a dozen of copies, ignoring the fact that it is borderline illegal, and then puts them neatly in their own folders. She smiles proudly when she sees the room filling with all their fresh, scared faces.

"Good afternoon," she greets, slamming the charts on the table to ensure everyone's attention. The pimpled intern of the library flinches at the sound.

The chatter dies down, an Asian chick stops suturing a banana, another baby-faced guy stops spinning on one of the chairs.

"I know this is something very unconventional for an attending to do, but I'm not conventional in the least," Meredith smirks, eying their faces. "So far, Katie Bryce in room three-oh-two is a mystery, her scans are clean, her labs pure, but she keeps having grand mal seizures. She doesn't have much time left, and I need all pairs of eyes and hands I can have. I'm asking for your help to solve Katie's mystery. You can back out, I know you're busy, but there's a reward at the end: you can assist me in the surgery, because I'm pretty sure she needs one. No intern has the opportunity to assist in an advanced procedure on their first day, but you do. If you come up with a diagnosis."

The room fills with a murmur of excitement, as Meredith makes her way to the door.

"Clock is ticking..." she uses as a goodbye, watching as the interns fling themselves on the charts like vultures.

Gosh, interns are so gullible. And they would do anything to hold a retractor or to watch a brain from close range.

She wants to retreat back in the quiet of her office, planning on doing her own research, but she's interrupted when she sees Addison Montgomery exiting the office of Mark Sloan, tying her scrubs, as she crosses their shared corridor.

Meredith giggles, knowing their reputation, but she doubles over in laughter when she sees Mark Sloan exiting a minute after Addison.

"You know, she has her own office," Meredith uses as a greeting for the man, and Mark laughs loudly.

"Mine is sexier." Meredith laughs at his remark. "Wanna try it?"

Meredith rolls her eyes, giving him a non impressed face. "It's been four years, Mark. You started making me dirty proposals from day one, and I always turned you down. Isn't that a big enough sign for you?"

"You've gotten sexier in the years, what can I say?"

Meredith chortles again at the wriggle of his eyebrows. "I guess you wanted to christen your office on the very first day, uh?"

"I couldn't help myself. How's your first day as an attending going? People were grumbling when you were a fellow, I imagine there are riots now." Mark chuckles.

"I'm making an ass of myself already, my day is just peachy," Meredith sighs.

"Why?"

"I asked the interns for help. I need their eyes to go through half of the library to try solving a case."

"Hey, interns are made for grunt work."

"Yeah, but not for mysteries. _I'm_ supposed to solve them."

"Anyone has help. Was your intern too dumb to do it alone?"

Meredith laughs. "No, he seems decent. Hasn't killed the girl during a seizure, so I think it qualifies as decent."

Mark laughs. "This year there's a blonde chick that looks completely fuckable."

"Mark!" Meredith's eyes widen.

"Hey, Addie might have the exclusive of my penis, but that doesn't mean I can't look," he winks.

"You're a perv."

"I know!" Mark grins brightly. "Have you met my boy, Derek?"

"Your boy?" Meredith giggles, "Swinging on the other side too, sometimes?"

Mark feigns offense. "He's almost like a brother to me. Derek Shepherd."

"Ah, he's the decent intern!" Meredith's eyes gleam. "He's not too bad to look at, at least. Don't tell him I said that, it will go to his head. I have a reputation to hold."

"Right. Medusa Grey can't find lowly interns hot."

"He's not hot per se. He's nice to look at."

"Hot. As disturbing as it is for me to consider my brother hot." Mark fakes a shudder, and Meredith shoves him.

Her pager beeps, and she smirks. "See, this is probably him, killing Katie. I gotta go!"

She bolts, leaving Mark to chuckle by himself in the empty corridor, wishing that Shepherd is not killing Katie indeed.

* * *

Derek studies Katie's chart for the umpteenth time down in the tunnels, going through value after value, test after test, scan after scan. Nothing jumps out.

"Hey, wanna work together?" Cristina's voice reaches him before she can plop next to him on the gurney.

"On Katie?"

"Yeah, you were there from the start, we can bounce off ideas together."

"What about the surgery?" Derek frowns.

"We'll toss a coin or something," Cristina shrugs, though he knows she wants in badly.

"Fine by me."

They both move to the library, sitting on the floor of one of the aisles – since all the tables are occupied by more interns – charts in their hands as they try out one diagnosis after the other, back and forth.

"What kind of sport is rhythmic gymnastics anyway? I can barely say the name," Cristina chortles, as she crosses off one more disease from her mental lists.

Derek laughs with her. "Tumor?"

"Nah."

"You know, I'm really glad I found a boy on my doorstep and not a girl. I can't imagine having to live with all that twirling and frilly stuff day in and day out. I have four sisters, I think I paid my duties."

"Four?" Cristina's eyes widen.

"Unfortunately."

"That's why you're not fully wired."

Derek feigns offence, but they both laugh together. He sobers up quickly, though. "What if nobody can find anything?"

"You mean, what if she dies?"

"Yeah," Derek sighs. "Her whole life would have been winning Miss Something Silly. That's sad."

Cristina shrugs. "I mean, what do they do in rhythmic gymnastics, anyway? They jump, they twirl, I think they use ribbons too? Sad indeed."

Derek's eyes light up then, an idea going off in his brain. Before he can act on it though, his pager beeps.

"I have the diagnosis, but you have to wait. I need to go change Katie's channel." He rolls his eyes.

"Wait, Derek!"

"I'll be back!" he smirks smugly, jogging quietly to Katie's room. He takes his time. After the third empty 911, he knows what to expect.

Except that there are people running to Katie's room when he gets there, and he's pretty sure she doesn't need him to change a channel this time.

"Dr. Shepherd, she's seizing!" a nurse announces, and his eyes zero on Katie, convulsing on the bed. "What should we do?"

He's frozen. He's alone and he needs to stop this, and he has no idea how. His brain is drawing a blank, his whole body unable to move.

"What do we do?"

Somebody bumps against him, and he finally moves, his brain rebooting. "Have you paged Dr. Bailey and Dr. Grey?" he croaks, shaking.

"Yes."

"Page them again," he orders, picking up Katie's chart. "Max her diazepam."

"It's in!" The nurse nods, but Katie is still seizing.

"I..."

After his moment of hesitation, Katie stops seizing, but only because her heart stops. Paddles are thrust in his hands, and before he knows it, he's asking the nurse to charge to two hundred.

"Clear!" he shouts, and Katie's body jumps up, still lacking a heartbeat. The teenager is technically dead now.

"Nothing."

"Charge to three hundred," he orders. "Clear!" The electric shock curses through Katie's body once again.

"No response."

"Charge again."

"She's been down for six minutes," another nurse states.

"I said, charge again!" His voice is forceful, desperate as he yells "Clear!" one more time, but this time, the heart monitor picks up a v-fib.

He drops the paddles, stepping away from Katie as the nurses proceed with the tests.

"What's going on here?" Dr. Grey's booming voice fills the room, and he feels sick to his stomach. "What the hell were you thinking?" She goes up to his face, before she moves to Katie. "Get the hell out of my sight."

Derek moves out of the room on autopilot, barely hearing what Bailey has to reproach him, barely noticing Cristina following him.

He needs to breathe. He needs air.

His stomach rolls, his head is swimming.

Katie almost died. He almost killed a teenage girl.

His steps pick up on their own volition, until he sees the solace of the sliding doors of the hospital and the parking lot. He exits the building and leans against a tree, throwing up his lunch on the grass. He breathes heavily for a second, his eyes wet and bleary, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

When he turns around, Cristina is standing there, and for the first time that day he sees a hint of emotion in her eyes.

"Don't say a word," he growls, making a hasty entrance inside, heading for the nearest bathroom.

He splashes water on his face, spits up the residual acidic taste of vomit, then tries to gather himself a little more. He can still feel the cold sweat on his spine.

"What happened?" Cristina asks, ambushing him again outside the men's restroom.

"I almost killed her." Derek's voice is plain, void. He has nothing more to give.

"What was your diagnosis?" Cristina prods.

"I can't remember."

Derek is gruff, as he heads for the locker room, desperately needing his toothbrush, and his space.

"Shepherd!"

"Look, Cristina, this is humiliating, okay?"

"What?"

"I thought having a kid wouldn't make any difference, I'll be a doctor and I'll kick ass and that's it. But now I can't help but thinking that it might have been David coding, and he would have died because I'm an incompetent intern."

"Intern and incompetent kind of go together, except for me," Cristina shrugs.

"Cristina, I'm a superhero. David thinks I can make the world spin to the other side, and I'm just...me."

"Every kid believes that of their parents; hell, my dad is still my hero."

"Yeah, but he can't change world's spinning direction now, can he?"

"He's closer to those who can than you might think," Cristina says. Derek stops for a second at her words, sighing in understanding. "I'm a member of the club, you know. The Dead Dads' Club. At least David is not."

Derek nods, at least there's that. "I am a member as well."

"Yeah?" Cristina's eyes soften. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too."

Derek brushes his teeth as Cristina waits patiently for him on the bench between their lockers, his mind reeling on overdrive.

"Maybe I should have continued working at the restaurant, you know? Go back to school and become a chef or something. I was good at it, I loved it."

"There's a reason why you're here, Derek," Cristina shrugs. "I'm no fan of karma, but maybe you're supposed to be here. You can't give up on your first shift, that's being a pussy."

Derek laughs, spitting in the sink one last time. "Maybe they'll cut me for my incompetence before I have a chance to quit," he admits, burying his face in his towel.

"Nah," Cristina grins. "Oh, right, Medusa is on your case, you're toast."

Derek laughs, his mood brightening.

"Oh, and Shepherd, what I said here is Vegas. I don't do touchy-feely. We're not friends."

"Friendly?" Derek grins, giving her a friendly jab on her side.

Cristina rolls her eyes. "If you let me win a surgery, maybe?"

Derek laughs again, putting away his stuff. When he looks again at Cristina, the diagnosis for Katie comes back to him.

"Come on, let's find Medusa."

He practically drags her out of the room, briefing her on his theory as they search for Dr. Grey, Cristina's face going from excited to disbelieved to terrified in the span of the minutes necessary to see Dr. Grey slip into an elevator.

"Dr. Grey," he calls out, pushing Cristina to continue a soon as they catch the attending's gaze.

They have decided that Cristina is the spokesperson, since Derek is pretty sure Dr. Grey considers him a moron, and he really hopes Cristina will convince Dr. Grey of his farfetched hypothesis.

"Katie competes in beauty pageants."

"I know," she smirks. "We have to save her life anyway."

"All her scans and tests are clean," Cristina continues, Dr. Grey's smirk disappearing into a thin line.

"What if there's an aneurysm anyway?" Cristina begins, as Medusa frowns.

"With no indicators?"

"Well, she twisted her ankle a couple of weeks ago," Cristina's voice is more urgent now, as Dr. Grey shakes her head.

"She fell. She twisted her ankle and fell," Derek speaks up, Dr. Grey staring him down then.

"It wasn't mentioned in her history because it was so small, but what if the aneurysm burst anyway?" Derek argues back, suddenly feeling a strange brand of confidence seep into him.

"You know what are the chances of that?" Dr. Grey shakes her head, allowing the door to close. "One in a million. Literally."

As the door shuts, Cristina and Derek stare at the metallic barrier with a sigh, turning their back to it to go back to their research.

The elevator door opens again, but this time Dr. Grey exits, a determined look on her face. "Let's see if she's the one in a million." Dr. Grey nods, dragging them to Katie's room, before the trio takes her up for a scan.

There's an awkward silence as the three of them plus the Radiology tech wait for the images to appear on the screen, expectation filling the air. Derek remains mesmerized for a second by the way Dr. Grey's eyes shimmer with excitement in the dim light, waiting, almost as if she's sure they might be right, no matter how improbable that is.

"I'll be damned. Subarachnoid hemorrhage. She's bleeding into her brain," she announces, pointing a darker spot on the screen, her smile lightening up the room.

"Congratulations you two," Meredith nods, and they proudly take it. They know they come far and rarely from her lips, and it is indeed an honor for them. "It's going to be a little crowded in there, so I'm sorry, but I can only take one of you there. Dr. Shepherd has been on Katie's case from the beginning, he'll be scrubbing in. Dr. Yang, you can observe from the gallery."

Derek wins a dirty look from Cristina, before she storms away. He feels giddy at the prospect of brain surgery, but he hates that Cristina has been pushed to the side.

"Look, Dr. Grey..."

"Chivalry will lead you nowhere, Dr. Shepherd," she says coldly, not even looking at him. "You saved her life today, with very little training. You deserve to be there. Stop whining for your buddy."

"She's not..."

"I don't care what you do outside of this hospital. I'm about to scrub in alone if you keep that up."

And that is Derek's cue to stop talking.

She's very bossy, that is for sure. She has a way to know all the weakest spots, and she jabs there with gusto. She's a shark, but he figured she had to be one, if she's in that position at her age in the first place. She has a fire though, and he really likes to see the way she handles her patients, when her kindness and compassion shine through.

"You know, this is refreshing," he smirks, as they both scrub in, side by side.

"What, scrubbing in? The water is warm."

Derek chuckles. "No this. You are younger than me, teaching me stuff I have no clue about. That's refreshing. I expected to learn from an old hag who likes reading the newspaper in his slippers and playing with the grandkids."

"Are you saying that doctors like Webber are a waste of your time?" Her eyes widen. Maybe he's being too forward, but he doesn't regret it. He wants to know her better.

"No, I respect Richard, he's a friend first. And he doesn't even have grandchildren."

Dr. Grey grins. "So he's Richard, uh?"

"My mother knew Adele very well. They worked here together for a while."

"Your mother was a nurse?"

"Yeah," Derek grins, rinsing off.

"Carolyn Shepherd?" Dr. Grey's eyes widen.

"You know my mother?" Derek grins, surprised. "I guess we're even, Dr. Grey." He smirks, keeping the door open for her with his body. When she passes by him, his senses are filled with a sweet, earthy aroma of flowers, and he feels dizzy for a second. Was he seriously flirting with her? Using medicine? _Lame, Shep_. And most importantly, she still hasn't killed him for flirting? _That_ is surprising.

Dr. Grey stands near the table, now gloved and ready, her purple scrub cap standing out from the sea of blue hues. She looks complete now. She stands in front of Katie's shaved skull, takes a deep breath, her eyes closed, one hand hovering over her abdomen, a smile on her face.

"Thank you everybody for being here. We are all going to work together to save Katie. Let's get started," she announces, asking for a ten blade, and opening up.

He's mesmerized by her fingers as she swiftly performs movements he has only seen on video. Never has he been so close to an open brain in his career, not even a dead one. In his first experience as an intern he has mainly observed traumas and general surgeries, since he was still so undecided about a specialty back then, but now, seeing a brain, he's on cloud nine.

There's a certain kindness that seeps through Dr. Grey as she operates, a gentleness that is masked by her hard attitude and proud stance. Her touch is barely there, and she tries to avoid doing unnecessary movements as she works; she's quick and accurate, she's soft and beautiful. She's almost glowing every time she looks up and asks for an instrument, and he's struck by her beauty when she meets his eyes and tells him: "Come on closer, Dr. Shepherd."

Her smile makes him weak in his knees, even if he's just imagining it from under her mask. It's probably the first genuine smile he has seen from her, and she's breathtaking.

He moves so gently towards the table he feels like he's tempting fate as he looks into the microscope and he finally sees it. The aneurysm is there, staring at him in the face, the clip already over the vessel, ready to cut its blood supply.

"Wow," he feels himself muttering, winning a chuckle from Dr. Grey.

"Go on." Her eyebrows rise, as she touches his hand. Their eyes lock, and her eyes sparkle, while her hand is gently steadying his as he grabs the instrument.

"Clip it, Dr. Shepherd."

And he does. As her voice prods him, his hand stops shaking, and he closes the clip with a gentle push, his smile widening out of his own volition.

"That's it." Dr. Grey smiles at him, and he feels empowered. He is a superhero now, even though she did most of the work. "Now we just have to close."

The microscope stays in place only for a little while more, but Dr. Grey takes her time to drain the blood from the clipped aneurysm, then place every stitch carefully and not leave a nasty scar. She's just as attentive as she has been while she was opening, showing him her mastery even more, her technique flawless.

This is the reason why she's an attending already.

This surgery is why he officially has a crush on her. Or her hands, he doesn't know. She has really beautiful, surgeon's hands, with long slender fingers and firm wrists. She saves lives with those hands.

Yeah, he's definitely crushing on her hands.

He stares at her like she's a goddess while they scrub out, the silence comfortable, her tired but relaxed smile filling the room. There's no need for more.

"That was..." he swallows, words failing him.

"Yeah," she grins a little broader, a little brighter.

"I don't know why people do drugs. That was such a high."

She looks at him with an unreadable expression as she hums in agreement, scrubbing away the last remnants of surgery.

"Thank you for this opportunity," Derek feels obliged to say.

"You deserved it. Tell your mother Meredith Grey says hi. I hope she'll appreciate that."

"Will do." Derek nods, and he feels almost bereft as she leaves the scrub room, the flowery scent following her.

* * *

 **A/N: I know, I'm hiding David like a dog with her favorite bone. You'll meet him soon, just a little more patience. Still, there was surgery, and what a surgery! And Ellis! And porny Mark! I hope it was enough...  
**

 **Stay tuned for more! Thank you for reading and loving this so far!  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So, I wasn't expecting all that excitement and curiosity about the connection between Meredith and Carolyn, but I guess this chapter will answer some of your questions. And well, the long awaited meeting of David is here. Enjoy!  
**

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

* * *

Derek closes the front door behind his back, allowing the light of the early morning to filter through the foyer for a second, trying to make the less noise possible as he sets down the keys and his bag on the small table right beside the jackets. He takes off his tennis shoes, grateful that his feet can now breathe, then he takes a deep breath.

His apartment is silent, a few traces of David's presence scattered here and there in the living room, but he is probably still asleep. He peeks in the kitchen, finding his mother sipping coffee from one of the mugs, as she silently reads a magazine. Derek's smile widens.

"Morning, Ma," he greets in a whisper, and her eyes snap up to him.

She gives him a wonderful smile when their eyes meet, and she immediately lowers her coffee to stare at him. "How was your shift?"

"Long, but I loved it. Meredith Grey says hi, by the way," he grins, taking a seat in front of his mother.

"Meredith Grey? Little Meredith?"

"She's not so little anymore," he chuckles. "She was my Neuro attending for the day. We saved a life together."

"Really? A Neuro attending? I remember her when she was David's age and I kept an eye on her when her mother was in surgery…" she sighs, a wistful smile on her lips. "Ellis is still around, I assume."

"Chief of Surgery."

"I see." His mom nods, a strange expression on her face. He has no idea what to think of it. "So, you saved a life?"

"Teenage girl. She had an aneurysm, we clipped it," he beams.

"I'm happy for you, I really am. Have you gotten any rest?"

"It seems that having David trained me for losing a lot of sleep," Derek chuckles, standing up to grab a glass of water and sipping it slowly. "Is he in bed?"

"Yeah, he went down a little later than usual last night, but I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Did he give you a hard time?" Derek grimaces, knowing how hard it can be to be around his boy some nights.

"He's a good boy, Derek."

"So he did," Derek sighs. "What was it?"

"I just baked a different kind of cookies. The chocolate chips were too big and tasted weird because it was milk chocolate instead of dark."

Derek sighs, rubbing his temple. "I should have told you about that; sorry I forgot."

"Hey, it's not a big deal. He did not have cookies, he's still alive."

As if on cue, they hear a pitter patter of feet running down the stairs, until David's head peeks from the kitchen door.

His dark hair is ruffled and unkempt, his dinosaurs pajama wrinkled, but his eyes are a sparkling blue. He has the widest of smiles, stretching on his whole face, and Derek can't believe he hasn't seen him in two days. It's been awhile since he has gone this long without seeing his son.

"Daddy!" He leaps into Derek's lap, hugging him tightly. "Daddy, I missed you!" he exclaims, burying his face in his shoulder.

Derek grins brightly as well, frowning only when David recoils a little at his touch.

"You scruffy," David says puzzled, his hand going on Derek's cheek, tickling his beard.

Derek swallows thickly, chastising himself for not having shaved before leaving, but his heart leaps when his son cups his cheeks with both his hands and plants a kiss all over his stubble, then hugs him even more tightly. Derek is always so unsure about touching him, his heart swells when David is the one initiating contact.

He squeezes David with a fake groan, making the boy giggle uncontrollably, squirming into his father's hold.

"I missed you too, D-Man."

David sighs, settling a little lower in Derek's arms, resting his head over Derek's clavicle, not wanting to let go of him. "Daddy, were you a superhero?"

Derek smiles brightly. "You know, I saw the inside of a brain today." He tickles David, who only squirms and grimaces in disgust.

"Is it slimy?"

"Gooey like Jell-o." Derek chuckles, watching the faces his boy makes.

"Gross!"

"Yeah, kinda gross, but kinda cool too." Derek grins.

Unlike many parents, he has given up on the idea of his son liking the same stuff he likes. Surgery, cooking and fishing all involve touching slimy, gross objects at some point, and it will be a no-go for a kid like David, but he still likes to tease him about it. Sometimes he manages to convince David to tag along to a fishing expedition, or to help around the kitchen, but Derek knows that surgery will be a farfetched option for him, no matter what.

"Daddy, wanna play?" David's eyes light up as their eyes lock, and Derek sighs. He hates disappointing him.

"Can we have breakfast together first?" Derek asks, though he's not sure he will get through breakfast awake either. He managed to sleep a few hours last night, but they feel like a lifetime ago. He's only glad he has the next day off and he doesn't have to be back to Seattle Grace the next morning.

"Dave, your father worked for two days straight, he needs to take a nap."

"We can nap together, Daddy!"

"Right," Derek chuckles, putting down his son. "You haven't napped in years."

"I'm a good napper," David retorts, frowning at him.

"I think I remember your last nap. You were two and you collapsed on the floor."

"I did not!" David giggles, as Derek smirks at him.

They both sit down at the table and Derek hums in delight when he sees the steamy pancakes his mother is sliding onto a plate. If he has to be awake for a few more hours, he definitely needs food. Surgery high tided him over until breakfast, but he needs to recharge his batteries.

"How was your day, Nugget?" Derek murmurs, helping his mother set up what's missing from the breakfast table.

"I had heaps of fun with Nana. She's old, but she's fun!"

"David Langston!" Derek admonishes. "Sorry, Ma."

"He's right, dear, I am getting old."

"Still, it's not nice to say that to your face," he rumbles, giving a poignant look to his son. "You need to learn how to be polite, Dave."

"But, Daddy, I am polite if I say facts," David grumbles, frowning at him. Derek is only glad he still hasn't learned how to roll his eyes.

"Derek, do you want to go to bed or are you taking him to OT?" his mother asks, knowing that he has dug a hole that he can hardly get out from unscathed. He's thankful his mother knows these things, after raising five plus one kids.

He sighs. "I can take him."

Occupational Therapy is usually fun for David, and Derek likes being there to witness all the things he learns how to do, or gather new insight from the therapists at the center. Also, sometimes he gets to play with David in the gym, and he loves going back in time and play with him. Having David really awakened his childish side, and he wouldn't change that for the world.

"Oh, Daddy, you're going to play all my games with me today!"

"I am," he grins with fake enthusiasm. He only wants a bed right now, but David needs him. He can't let him down.

"Benny is going to let me play in the ball pit today," David's eyes brighten and Derek can feel his excitement too. He knows how much his son loves the ball pit, after all.

"That sounds really exciting. When is your session again?"

"In about an hour," his mother says with a gentle smile, as they both start to dig into their pancakes.

"It's clothes time after breakfast, okay, David?" he smiles. "Want me to pick something out for you?"

"You can help," David shrugs, drenching his pancakes in cinnamon and honey, making Derek cringe a little. David is definitely not a health nut. Even though he eats his vegetables, he does have a sweet tooth.

They finish breakfast chatting about everything and nothing, David being his usual entertaining self. He's gregarious and funny most of the time, though people hardly get along with him because of his issues. It's hard to find the true David behind all his social limitations.

David is quick to bolt upstairs, though Derek barely has the time to put away some of the dishes before he's bellowing for him, asking for help to get dressed.

They settle for comfortable loose shorts and a t-shirt with a dinosaur on it, and even if it's already looking a little faded, he doesn't have the heart to tell him to wear another. Sometimes it's so hard to find something David likes and feels comfortable in that every item of clothing purchased is always a small victory. Too bad the boy grows like a weed.

"Ready!" he exclaims, his t-shirt turned back to front. "Okay, maybe not," he giggles, staring down at his chest before he pulls his arms inside and turns the t-shirt in the right position.

"Let's go, then," Derek grins, not bothering to change out of his baggy jeans and t-shirt.

They drive to OT with the radio on, soft tunes playing, and the fact that David is humming along from the backseat doesn't even make him miss listening to The Clash. David looks beyond bouncy today, and Derek is not sure if he can handle a day of bouncy David after a forty-eight-hour shift. He knows he has to, though. He needs to get used to this, no matter how brutal it will be for his body.

David bolts inside the familiar building, calling out for him.

"Slowpoke!" David giggles, following a well-known route to the gym.

Benedict, aka Benny, is already waiting for them, a wide smile stretching and contrasting with his mocha skin, his curls looking wilder than usual, since they're not collected in a bun. David greets his occupational therapist like an old friend, going as far as hugging him, and Benny reciprocates it gladly.

"Derek." Benny smiles, shaking hands. David takes off his shoes and starts his exercises on his own, knowing that the faster he gets through the mandatory sets, the earlier he'll be thrown in the ball pit.

"Hey, Benny," Derek says, smiling brightly.

"You look dead on your feet," the therapist smirks, glancing at David to check on him.

"First shift as an intern. Forty-eight hours."

"So glad I'm not a real doctor," he chuckles. "Then you look good."

Derek shakes his head, amused. "How is he doing?"

"Steady progress. He seems to be more open with his feelings though."

"Yeah, he hugged me today when I got back. And he hugged you."

"We're working on touching, yes. Also, he's getting better with fine and gross motor skills. He's a lot more centered in his running, and I'm sure he'll be okay holding pencils before we know it."

"He'll be in kindergarten in September," he gulps. His baby will be five in not even two months, and he still can't believe it. It doesn't seem real that he's already so big.

"We'll make sure he'll be ready for school, Derek."

Derek's phone rings, and he hopes with all he can that it's not the hospital. He sighs in relief when he sees that it's Mark, instead.

"Hey, my man," Mark greets him. "How was it?"

"I missed the surgeries. I so didn't miss the scut work."

Mark laughs. "Grey let you clip an aneurysm, I heard."

"She did," he beams, the excitement making him feel a lot less tired all of a sudden. "I just closed the clip, she placed it and all that, but, wow, the rush…"

"God, those were the days," Mark sighs. "You up for a drink tonight?"

"Early? I still haven't slept, I'm with David at OT."

"Wow, that sucks. Tomorrow better?"

"No, we can do tonight if we do...nine-ish? I will have Mom get David ready tomorrow and sleep in."

"We can do eight thirty if you want. Or grab a bite to eat together earlier and then stay for a drink."

"Even better. I want to be back by David's bedtime, though."

Mark laughs. "What is it, ten?"

"Just about it," Derek laughs. "I'll move it up when school starts and I'll have to take him in when I start my day."

"Poor kid, up at six."

"He's a morning person."

"Well, you are a morning person too," Mark argues, and Derek smiles. "Joe's, then. Seven-thirty."

"I'll call if I have to cancel," Derek adds.

"I'll bring Addie," Mark uses as a conclusion, then hangs up.

Derek smiles, watching David's eyes light up when Benny looks towards the ball pit, and then he puts his phone away, knowing that he's about to dive in the pit himself. He's going to cherish these moments with his boy, even if they rob him of very necessary sleep.

As long as he doesn't collapse, he'll find a way to be there for his son.

* * *

 **A/N: So, you met David Langston Shepherd, and he's quite the kid. I've kept him under wraps for a bit, but this won't be the last you've seen of him, I promise. Sorry for the lack of Meredith, stay tuned to see more of her!  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Many of you wondered if you'd get to see Meredith and Derek at Joe's...Well, I bet you'll like this chapter!**

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

* * *

The empty shot glass hits the worn-down counter with a clink as Meredith slumps on her bar stool, her muscles loosening, even though she knows she's far from getting hammered.

Maybe she should get hammered.

Derek Shepherd kinda makes her want to get hammered. Because his eyes shine when he clips aneurysms and she has no idea what possessed her to make him touch a patient in the first place. She's Medusa Grey, she can't be soft with any intern, even though he's older than all of them and he knows how to lean against things.

She should find someone to fuck tonight and forget all about him.

Her gaze moves around the booths and the tables, searching for a possible conquest, and then a groan escapes her lips. Of course Mark Sloan has taken his buddy out for a drink.

"Joe, another," she calls out to the bartender, who looks at her more like she's a friend than a customer. Also, the fact that his name sounds almost like the name of her favorite liquor brand helps matters when she won't be able to stand.

"Grey!" The boisterous voice of Mark Sloan rings out even in the crowded bar, and she groans loudly again.

"Make him go away," Meredith mumbles to Joe, who's sporting an amused smirk.

"Hey, Grey, I heard you let my brother clip an aneurysm yesterday," he gloats, walking closer to her then asking Joe for a refill.

"I clipped the aneurysm," she mumbles, drowning her tequila.

"Well, yeah, but he actually closed the clip," he smirks, sleazy as usual.

"Whatever. Joe, tequila!"

"Come on, sit with us," he smiles. "We can do celebratory shots."

Meredith frowns. "You're buying me a drink, Sloan?"

"I'm not!" he exclaims. "I'm sort of taken. But we can celebrate together," he smirks again, but then it turns softer, somehow. "You look lonely over here." This is a Mark Sloan she has rarely seen out of the confines of a patient room.

Wonderful, now he's looking at her like she's a patient.

"I'm trying to get laid," she says crudely, and Mark's eyes light up.

"Derek is single," Mark shrugs. The gossip.

"And he's an intern. Even if he's older than I am, I'm never sleeping with him."

"One drink?" Mark begs, and she rolls her eyes.

"You're buying," she growls, before she stands up and plops herself next to Addison, on the other side of the booth from Derek. "Hola," she nods, slumping on the leather of the booth bench.

"You speak Spanish?" Addison questions, amused.

"Only when I drink tequila," she snickers back, and she can clearly see Derek swallowing thickly the last sip of his drink.

"Scotch for the luckiest intern, tequila for Medusa," Mark grins, coming up with their drinks as if he were a waiter. He puts something fruity and with a straw in front of Addison, then grabs his own tumbler of scotch.

Derek and Mark clink glasses as she stares at the amber liquid in hers, sighing loudly. The lights of the bar and the tequila aren't helping with ignoring how good Derek looks. His red shirt clings perfectly to his body, leaving enough to the imagination; his eyes are sparkling, even if they still look tired; his hair...God, his hair is perfect. She's dying to run her fingers through them and hear him screa…

Okay, what?

Maybe she should slow down with the tequila.

She slams down her shot, winning a whistle from Mark, Addison smacking his forearm.

"Ouch! Why did you do that?"

"Because you're coming home with me, tonight," she purrs, and Meredith rolls her eyes.

"I should have stayed home. In my bed. Asleep." Derek groans next to him.

"Are they always this disgusting?" Meredith asks, tentatively looking up at him. His eyes are sparkling blue.

Derek hums, a strange sound that she knows signals amusement, yet she has no idea why it makes her insides tingle. "I think they have the strangest relationship I have ever witnessed," Derek admits, taking a sip of his scotch. "Sorry he dragged you here."

"It's fine, I was just drinking."

"And you can drink here," he grins, tilting his head a little to the side and looking at her. Holy mother of stares, now she feels naked.

"I can. And Markie is buying, so..." She giggles, though she knows it's the most awkward giggle she has ever let out. Derek laughs with her, and his eyes dance even more, if it were even possible.

Maybe she should take him home. Fuck him and forget about him. Even if they work together, they can reach an agreement. The man is too gorgeous for his own good, and she's horny. She's too drunk to bury her horniness with surgery, so she needs to find a man. Right now. A man who isn't Derek Fuckable Shepherd. Who is also single.

"Does Mark buy you drinks often?" he asks, genuinely curious.

"We're weird friends. He always flirted with me from the moment I started at Grace, and now our offices are close. All first year attendings get offices on the same floor, and mine is next to his. I think he feels guilty I have to hear him and Montgomery go at it while I do my paperwork."

"Gross," he grimaces, looking adorable. Wait, what? Adorable? The man is sex on legs, he's not adorable. "I shared a room with him in college, I feel your pain."

"Always been a manwhore?"

Derek chuckles. "At least now it's the same woman. Upgrade from the game of 'Guess the skank that will drink your coffee' I did every morning after we went out for drinks."

And Mr. Sexy has a sense of humor. Okay, he's not Mr. Sexy. Dr. Sexy? Interns don't deserve the title, though. Oh, she'll have to think about a nickname for him.

No, she should forget all about Derek Shepherd. No thinking about sexy nicknames for him. Nope.

Yep, laying off on the tequila.

"Do you think they'll notice if we leave?" Derek asks, amused, still a glint in his eyes.

"Together?" she spats out, and he almost chokes on his scotch.

"NO!" he yelps. "No! Not that you're not attractive and sexy and that top really brings out your eyes, but –" he stutters, clearly nervous. He clears his throat.

"I mean, you're hot too, gorgeous, but...intern," she fake coughs as well, grimacing at her empty tequila shot glass.

"Yes, intern," he smiles, and she can see a hint of a blush on his cheeks. Her own face feels like it's on fire.

"Intern," she sighs.

"You really look good tonight, though," he murmurs, his eyes sparkling. He's too fucking dreamy for her to resist.

There it is. McDreamy. She's doomed.

"I'm leaving," she hums, and he looks disappointed for a second.

As soon as she stand up though, her legs give out on her. Awesome. She thanks all the stars that her apartment is so close to Joe's.

"Need some help?" he grins, lowering his empty tumbler on the table.

"I'm fine."

"Honestly, these two are about to go fuck in the bathroom or leave me stranded, I'm leaving too, I don't need to see that when I can be home sleeping," he says, nodding towards Mark and Addison, their tongues down each other's throats, groping each other almost to indecent exposure.

"We can have Joe kick them out," she grins, and he laughs loudly.

She finds her footing again at her second attempt, but Derek's hand is quick to steady her. His fingers splayed on the small of her back feel way too good, and part of her wonders how the same fingers would feel on other parts of her body.

Stupid tequila brain.

"We're leaving," Derek announces loudly, but Mark and Addison barely disentangle to mutter a goodbye before they're back in their sex haze.

She starts walking, and Derek of course walks beside her. He holds her up gently as they move out of Joe's, and he feels solid and warm pressed so gently against her. She wonders why she feels like nothing bad will happen if he moves even an inch closer.

"Need a ride?" Dirty, dirty thoughts swirl in her brain when he says that. "We can share a cab," he adds, and she wonders if his brain is filled with dirty too.

"No cabs, I live a block away."

"Do you want me to take you home? It's already dark," he adds.

"I'll be fine," she hums, but she still feels unsteady as she pulls away from his arms.

"Except you can barely walk straight," he grins, holding out his hand again.

"Fine," she relents, hooking her arm with his. "Never mention this again, Shepherd," she admonishes, and his eyes sparkle with mirth.

"Promise," he grins.

They stare into each other's eyes for a long, endless minute, and she licks her lips just as he leans in.

A car honks and they spring away, both of them resuming their walks. Stupid tequila brain indeed.

Derek Shepherd is a gentleman because he leads her up to her front door and waits for her to find her keys before leaving.

"It was a fun night," he grins. "Next time Mark and Addison are screwing in their office, page me and we'll interrupt them."

She laughs, squeezing his arm one last time before he hops down her front steps.

"Bye, Shepherd," she smiles, closing the door in his face.

She sighs loudly as her brain keeps swirling, hitting her forehead against the door. She's so, so screwed.

* * *

 **A/N: I know this might look like a short chapter, but I usually let the scenes dictate how long they want to be and when it's time to stop. I don't believe in adding scenes or lines of dialogue just for word count's sake. I usually write longer chapters, and they'll probably get back to normal, but I feel like this one was complete right here.  
**

 **I'm glad you all liked David and I'll have more of him soon. I'm also glad you all seem to be enjoying this story just as much as I like writing it. Nothing can make a writer happier. Thank you for your support!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Well, it looks like you're all interested in what is going to happen next. I'm quite sure you'll like this chapter! Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

* * *

Coffee is not working.

Meredith has no idea how she can survive her day if the caffeine rush doesn't hit soon.

She has three surgeries scheduled, a couple of consults waiting for her, and it feels like one of those days when the ER will fill to the brim and they'll need her help down there even if it's not in her rotation. She _needs_ the caffeine.

Her travel mug is now empty and she's staring at the pile of paperwork on her desk with disgust. She slept fitfully the night before, thoughts of Derek Shepherd flashing through her head. When she finally closed her eyes for good, she woke up in a pool of sweat, her breathing ragged and the thoughts of kissing Derek Shepherd still planted in her head.

She should stop fantasizing about his lips and his body and his hair before bedtime.

Her pager pulls her out of her thoughts, and she groans when she sees that she has to rush back into surgery one of her post-ops.

This is going to be a long day.

The cold water on her face in the scrub room helps wake her up, though the usual near-emptiness her brain experiences right before surgery is hard to come by. She closes her eyes and takes a couple of deep breaths, calmness washing over her, slowly and steadily.

When she opens her eyes, her heart skips a beat.

Derek is coming out of the opposite OR door, a grin on his face, Bailey following suit. He looks like he has been a surgeon for longer than three days.

"Dr. Grey," Bailey nods, taking place at the sink next to hers, Derek sliding in front of the one on the farthest right.

"Dr. Bailey," she smiles back politely, ignoring Derek's eyes on her. "Good surgery?"

"Patient was touch and go, but we managed to bring him back."

"Good," she says, unable to move her gaze towards Derek. There's fluttering in her stomach, stupid blue eyes.

"What are you in for?" Bailey asks, studying Meredith with more attention, then looking at her right to Derek.

"Craniotomy," Meredith says, hoping she can keep some resemblance of normalcy as she talks with Bailey. That woman seems to know everything that is going on with anybody, no wonder she's nicknamed The Nazi. She might still be a resident, but there's not one surgeon who doesn't fear her, and Meredith is definitely in that list right now. She feels under scrutiny. "Had to go back in."

"I hope he'll make it through," Bailey nods, drying her hands, then leaving the scrub room, Derek following her like a puppy.

Meredith takes a deep, shuddering breath as she walks into the OR.

So much for avoiding Derek Shepherd.

* * *

Meredith Grey's hands are flawless.

He has been staring at her hands performing the craniotomy for hours, as he fills his scut paperwork in the empty OR gallery.

It's a routine emergency craniotomy, nothing fancy or worth-watching, except he's mesmerized by her every movement. Her hands are flawless, just like the rest of her.

He knows he should keep his distance, but he can't help himself, he likes being around her, even when she's crass and mean, or when she completely ignores him. She's funny, especially when she's drunk, and he wants to know her better, even though he's sure they might be breaking all kinds of unspoken rules if they even grab a coffee together.

Maybe he should get her coffee. He might be seen as the suck-up, but at least she'll get coffee.

His ringing phone startles him, and he answers quickly as soon as he reads his mother's name on the display.

"Hey, Ma, is everything okay?"

"It is," she says, though her tone is tired and defeated. "Are you going to be home for dinner?"

"I hope so," he replies, frowning at her big sigh.

"Good."

"What's going on? What did David do?"

The deep, shuddery sigh fills his eardrums again. "I took him to the park and he stumbled a little and grazed his knee. He threw a fit about sand on his hands and in his shoes and…"

"I'm sorry," he says, his turn to sigh deeply. He knows full well how hard it is to handle David when he has these moods. There was a reason he took him to the restaurant most days. He hates that he can't be there for his son when he's saving lives.

"It's not your fault, Derek."

"Maybe I should hire someone, give you some rest. You've been dealing with him around the clock – "

"Nonsense. He's my grandson, I can handle him."

"Mom, he can be a handful."

"And six kids were a handful too, especially Mark. I'm still here."

"You're not thirty anymore, Ma."

"Now who's calling me old?" she laughs, and he finally manages a smile. "We'll be okay. I'll just whip up something simple for dinner, instead."

"Rest up for a bit. I should be out of here by seven, maybe I'll find a way to cook for us."

"We'll see you then. And don't worry about dinner or David too much."

"You know I will always worry about him."

"You wouldn't be his dad if you didn't," she says, then hangs up after saying her goodbyes.

The OR monitors beep wildly and his focus shifts quickly to the surgery, his worries forgotten for a second.

Dr. Grey is ordering everybody around, moving precisely but without rushing around. No matter what is happening, she always looks and sounds in control, and he envies her. She looks so put together and sure of everything in her life he feels like he has to hate her a bit. Except he admires her more.

The monitors quiet down as the tension in the OR deflates, every member of the surgical team straightening up their backs and letting their shoulders drop a little. The only one who is still completely focused on the exposed brain is Dr. Grey, and he can't keep his eyes off her.

Before he knows it, the surgery is over, and her green-gray eyes are locking with his as she takes off her protective garments and heads to the scrub room. There are questions there, and a good deal of surprise, and he immediately notices how wide and clear her eyes look after surgery.

He clears up the clutter of his charts as well, noticing that he can now officially change into street clothes and go home. Going home means he can avoid Dr. Grey for a little longer.

He climbs into the empty elevator, the pile of charts he has to drop off at the nurses' desk in the hall pressed against his chest. Just when the doors are about to close, a petite hand slips in and he groans inwardly.

Of course he has to share an elevator with Meredith Grey.

"Stop looking at me, Dr. Shepherd," she blurts, standing with her back to him; he has to admit, her ass is gorgeous.

"I'm not looking at you," he replies, unable to keep the smirk off his tone.

"You are. At my ass, specifically," she quips over her shoulder, a glare in her eyes.

"You are mistaken."

"I'm your boss," she says, turning abruptly. "You can't look at my ass."

"I wasn't looking. If I were looking, I'd tell you it's a nice ass."

"Look, there's a line. A big line," she huffs, and she looks so beautifully flustered he has to say more. He's sure he has never been more intrigued by a woman before, no matter how wrong it is.

The flirty jab escapes him before he can restrain his tongue. "So, this line, is it imaginary or do I need to get you a marker?"

Her eyes flash, and he's already trying to form an apology, before his breath is being knocked out of him. Her lips are on his as her body charges, pinning him against the steel wall. His pile of charts is now on the floor.

He wounds his hands in her hair as she kisses him, her passion something he never expected from her usually calculating self. Her tongue does delicious things to his mouth, and his knees are wobbly as she rocks her hips against his. All of his body is on fire and responding to her every touch and nib, his hands exploring her unkown curves, awakening a level of arousal that has been dormant for years. He's not even sure it has ever been this awake, either.

The ding of the elevator brings them back to reality and she springs back, her cheeks rosy, her pupils dilated and her lips swollen. He licks his own lips, relishing the taste of Meredith Grey, before she settles her wrinkled scrubs and bolts out.

"You can call me Derek now," he calls out, wrapping his labcoat closer to hide his tenting scrubs as she disappears down the hall, and the doors close again.

People get in and give him looks, but he can't stop smiling.

* * *

 **A/N: Yep, elevators work in the same way in this fictional universe. Sorry if this was so short, but at least it was intense, right?**

 **Thank you for reading and loving these characters! Stay tuned for more!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Wow guys, you're pretty vocal! I love it. I love how invested you are in this story. It's a dream come true for every writer.  
**

 **Enjoy a new chapter!**

* * *

 **Chapter 7**

* * *

"Good job today, Dr. Shepherd."

Dr. Grey's voice stops him from going back to the cafeteria, as he picks up one of the charts from the nurses station in the main hall. She's dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt, apparently ready to just go home and collapse on the couch; she looks even younger than how she is, dressed so simply. The only difference from her usual is that her regular ponytail is loose in shoulder-length honey hair, falling freely over her shirt, her jacket swung on her arm.

She looks carefree. For the first time in three weeks, since he has seen her at the bar and kissed her in an elevator, she doesn't look like a surgeon, and he really likes what he sees. He wants to kiss her again.

He has wanted to kiss her since the elevator, but this is the very first time he has to fight with himself to keep the distance.

"Thank you, Dr. Grey." He smiles brightly at her, and he feels even happier when she smiles back. She has such a beautiful smile.

Derek's smile though is quick to disappear when he sees his mother walking through the doors of the hospital, dragging a wailing David. Dr. Grey seems to notice his distress, because her smile turns into a firm line once again.

"Mom?" he calls, trying to be heard all over the dull hum of the hall.

"Oh, Derek, thank God!" His mother sighs in relief, her expression softening.

"What happened?" Derek frowns, as he notices the bloody washcloth that David is holding over his forehead.

"Take it away, Daddy, take it away!" His son cries out, fat tears streaming down his face, mixing with the blood trickling down. "It's sticky, take it away!"

"David, David, look at Daddy. David!" Derek tries to stop the boy from a full-blown meltdown, but he's unable to do it.

David is so worked up at this point, that he can't help but throwing up on the floor, luckily missing his shoes and Derek's by an inch.

He keeps dry heaving even later, and Derek can only let him be, scared that he might trigger more vomiting if he attempts to touch him. His heart twists in his chest at the sight of his son like this. He has never felt this helpless.

"What's going on?" Dr. Grey shuffles near them when she sees the commotion, a frown marring her features.

"I have no idea," Derek sighs, quickly grabbing her hands when she moves forward to check on the boy. He gives her a warning look, and she glares at him.

"Dr. Shepherd, –"

"He needs his time to process this, please don't touch him," Derek pleads, wishing she'll get it, and he sees the moment when a lights goes off in her head.

"What's your name, young man?" she asks quietly, crouching next to David where the floor is free from the vomit.

David is crying too loudly to reply.

"His name is David, he's five. Who's the neurosurgeon on call tonight?" Derek asks, but Dr. Grey ignores him.

"David, hi. I'm Dr. Grey. Can you tell me what happened?"

The boy's attention seems to be kept for a moment by her words, and his sobs slow down to whimpers.

"You...a doctor...like my...my daddy?" David is still sobbing, but he seems to be gathering his composure again, at least enough to speak more clearly, his eyes connecting with his in a plea.

"I'm your Daddy's boss." Meredith grins, looking up at Derek. "What do you think about going down to the ER so we can find out why you're bleeding so much?"

David whimpers. "Please, Dr. Grey. I hate blood. I hate it. Please."

"Sure thing," she smiles, standing up again. "Follow me. You can all come along." She addresses Derek and his mother then, who looks a little stunned, and yet grateful. "I suppose you're Mrs. Shepherd," Meredith asks his mother then, who smiles. "Do you remember where the ER is?" His mother nods. "Can you take David there, so I can ask Dr. Shepherd a few more questions?"

"Of course," she nods eagerly, walking a tidbit faster to leave the two doctors behind.

"I'm sorry to be a bother, Dr. Grey, I..." Derek stutters, a little taken aback by the whole ordeal.

"I'm off duty, Dr. Shepherd, he's no trouble." She smiles, and it is almost implicit that she has nothing better to do at home, which saddens Derek, before making him feel grateful.

"He has Sensory Processing Disorder. Blood drives him up the wall, I guess he just fell. He might need stitches, I'll get someone else to do it, you can..."

"We have a connection, he trusts me to make him better, I will try to make him as comfortable as possible, I promise. Again, it's no trouble."

Derek sighs in relief. Maybe he could ask Mark for help, but he saw his name on the board, and the sooner they clean up the blood, the better. He's glad she's offering her services, though he's still wary about David's reaction to her.

"Thank you so much, Dr. Grey."

She smiles simply, her eyes a bright, mesmerizing green. "Do you need me to wait for his mother? Maybe she can calm him further. It's going to be grueling."

"Oh, no," Derek swallows thickly. "It's just me and Davy." He blushes a little at the admission, his eyes darting to the boy shuffling through the hallway in front of them.

"Sorry, I just assumed..." she sighs, something in her eyes he can't read. "I didn't even know you had a son."

"It's not something you broadcast when you're an intern."

"True," she smiles gently, her features softening imperceptibly. "Looks like he's quite the boy, uh?"

Derek finally cracks a smile, only humming in confirmation.

"Any allergies? Previous medical conditions apart from SPD? Does he take any medications?"

"No, nothing, just..."

Her hand rests lightly over Derek's shoulder squeezing it tightly. "I'll take care of him."

Derek nods, unable to shake away the feeling of calm that washes over him at the mere contact of her hand. "It's just...he's my son, you know? He's all I have."

There's a sad smile on her face that makes him believe she knows more than she lets others see.

He doesn't have time to dwell on that, because they can hear David throwing up some more, this time in a bucket his mother is holding, a nurse watching over them with sympathetic eyes.

"Mrs. Shepherd, what happened?" Meredith goes into clinical mode, tying up her hair in a bun, then discarding her bag and jacket, grabbing a pair of gloves in the process.

"He fell on the edge of the table. I told him a thousand times not to run, but he always spins around it in his socks. He lost footing, slipped on the carpet and fell face first on the corner, then I saw the blood," she explains, her voice cracking.

"Nana, make it stop!" David cries out, his voice broken by the tears and the vomiting. "My shirt is all dirty, no more blood!"

"Mom, it's not your fault." Derek touches her arm, squeezing it tightly, trying to comfort her. She merely shakes her head in response.

"Hm, let's see...David, what do you say if we take off that soiled washcloth and we put on one of these gauzes? Can I clean up your forehead a little?" Dr. Grey says in a calm voice.

"No more blood," he begs. "Daddy, no more blood!"

Derek feels a little like crying too. "Do you want me to hold your hand? It's probably going to pinch a little as Dr. Grey works."

"No Daddy, no more blood."

"Alright," Dr. Grey intervenes, ready to clean the wound.

David whimpers, his gag reflex almost giving up once more as Dr. Grey discards the washcloth. His whimper becomes a sob when she keeps his head still and dabs the wound for the first time.

"It hurts!" he cries out. "Daddy, make it stop!"

"David, look at me." Dr. Grey is quicker than Derek to jump in. "I need to touch you, and I need to make it tingle and fizzle more to get all the bacteria out, and clean all the blood. You won't even remember that there's blood when I'm all done."

"There's blood all over!" David keeps crying. "Even on my pants!"

"We'll change them, okay?" Derek swallows, shaken at the core by the vulnerability in his son's voice. "We'll change them as soon as we get home."

"I brought you clean clothes, Davy." His mother motions to her bag, and Derek is thankful his mother knows her grandson so well.

"What about we clean up your forehead, then you can change into the clean clothes when you're clean too? Otherwise even the clean pants will get dirty," Dr. Grey prods, smiling at the boy. David nods in agreement.

He seems to relax as Dr. Grey dabs his forehead one more time, and the blood stops gushing out from the wound. It looks a lot less scary, now. Head wounds always look terrible, because the amount of blood surpasses the severity of the wound itself, and Derek is grateful this only confirms what he already knows: his son will be fine.

"Daddy," David chokes a little at the end, catching Derek's attention immediately.

"What is it, D-Man?"

"I gotta be a burrito."

Derek actually smiles at that, standing behind the boy now, as he tries to avoid Dr. Grey's hands while he wraps his arms tightly around his son, squeezing him into his hold. David's whole body relaxes, his whimpers quieting down, his breathing more regular.

"Good, Daddy. So good," David sighs in relief, his body sagging.

"There's always someone ready to hug you if you need it," Derek replies, squeezing him a little tighter.

The fact that some pressure could calm him down is a recent discovery for both of them, something they have found out only during the past few months in OT, and it still has to fully sink in, apparently for the both of them. Pressure and being squished has always helped when David had been an infant, but the fact that they could replicate the same feeling has helped them solve more than one tricky situation lately. Right in this moment it feels like a godsend.

"Your burritos are the bestest," David says, sniffling loudly.

Derek chuckles. "I'm surely stronger than Nana, uh?" He looks up at his mother with a smirk, and he sees her relieved face.

"Nana is all soft. Sometimes I need soft."

"I know," Derek sighs, once more knowing how a mother in the picture could have helped with the softness. "But sometimes you need to be a burrito." He dares to kiss the top of his head then, sighing in relief when he doesn't flinch away.

"Look, Mr. Burrito," Dr. Grey smirks, "the blood is all cleaned up now. Can I put a patch on it? Make sure it won't bleed anymore?"

David nods. "Can Daddy keep making a burrito?"

"Of course," Dr. Grey nods. "I know this looks scary," she says, pointing to the needle and thread in her fingers, "but it won't hurt, I promise."

David takes a shaky breath, and Derek squeezes him just a little tighter. David flinches when Dr. Grey numbs his wound, then starts stitching it together. She works quickly, seamlessly, always with a smile on her face.

"So, what do you do in your spare time with your daddy, when he's not busy making you into a burrito?" she asks, clearly using the conversation as a distraction. Derek chuckles, but the joke passes right over David's head.

"We walk through the woods a lot, and we run and we swing on the swings a lot. Daddy also lets me help in the kitchen when he doesn't cook slimy stuff."

"Can your daddy cook better than your Nana?" she prods, smirking.

"Of course!" David grins. "My daddy worked in a rest'rant. He cooks very yummy food."

"He did?" Meredith says, looking up at Derek with an unreadable expression on his face, something that seems a lot like amusement. "What's your favorite thing he cooks for you?"

"Chicken curry," David moans happily, winning a giggle from his doctor. "And chocolate chip pancakes."

"I like those too."

"Now he doesn't cook no more, 'cause he works lots." David sighs, for a second making Derek feel guilty.

"I bet he always makes something special when he's not working though."

David grins. "He likes to 'speriment."

"Does he?" She smirks at Derek, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Like what?"

"Dunno. Lots of stuff. Some is not yummy at all." David grimaces, winning a chuckle from Derek.

"There, all done." Dr. Grey announces, winning a surprised look from David.

"All, all done?"

"You just need a clean patch to put on your forehead, then you're done," she smiles. "Now, I need you to do a couple of things for me, so your Daddy has to let go of you. You can turn into a burrito a little later. Are you okay just being David for five minutes?"

David swallows thickly. "Can I have one more minute of burrito?"

"Of course."

David immediately turns around, reciprocating the tight hug, squeezing his Derek's shoulders with all his strength. Derek closes his eyes, reveling in the hug.

"Okay, all done," David announces, turning again to face his doctor.

Dr. Grey starts the standard neuro checks then, making sure she doesn't leave anything uncovered, but at the same time trying to turn the check up into a game for David. Derek watches her a little mesmerized, ticking off another box in the reasons for her awesome skills as a doctor. She never ceases to surprise him.

"Dr. Shepherd, I would do an MRI, just to be on the safe side," she finishes off the exam plainly, eying David warily.

"What's an em-ar-ay?" David asks innocently.

"It's a machine that looks very much like a spaceship that can peek into your head. It makes a lot of noises though," she explains calmly.

"What do you say Davy? Wanna go into a spaceship?"

David starts to bounce, nodding firmly. He still asks to be carried like a burrito to the spaceship, and Derek obliges, glad to be carrying his boy around the hospital.

"I saw some headphones in the MRI room, I'll figure it out," Derek explains as Dr. Grey keeps studying him with a frown.

She raises her eyebrows, but she lets him do his thing. He places David on the MRI bed, puts the headphones on him, then grins brightly, going behind the glass to control the microphone.

"Hello there, Nugget."

"Hi, Daddy," they hear from the microphone behind the glass.

"You ready? Close your eyes and stay still, remember, it's Langston time," he says, then he starts to recite the only poem that calmed down him when he was little.

David seems to relax immediately as Derek's voice floats into the room. His smile widens as Derek recites the whole poem, sighing loudly as he gets to the end. Derek then switches off his own microphone, and starts playing some music. David keeps smiling even as the MRI starts humming loudly, the low instrumental music barely audible in the room without headphones, since the hum is so loud.

"Sigur Rós and Langston Hughes work like a charm." Derek smiles, sharing a look with his attending, who's looking at him with complete fascination. "Some SPD kids like death metal and gothic novels though, so you should really ask the parents."

"Well, David has refined tastes, I see."

Derek chuckles, glad to see Dr. Grey's humor shine through her job. "I mean, other kids hate touching, David hates touching, but needs pressure sometimes. We learned that a couple of months ago. Some others need to feel constantly touched or reassured that someone is nearby, especially as babies. It's pretty maddening to figure out what they really need."

"I can imagine," she admits, her eyes softening. "He's the reason you delayed your residency, uh?"

"Yeah, he is." Derek admits. "Not a second has gone to waste."

He sees something change in her eyes, and not in the negative sense. He has expected her to judge him, maybe even tease him, but she looks almost grateful, happy that he made this choice.

"I mean, he's a pretty normal, happy boy, if you can get over the meltdowns and the sometimes picky eating. He's not a severe case, but sometimes he just makes you question everything you've done before. He keeps me on my toes."

He sees a brighter smile on her lips, and he has no idea what to make of it. He does feel an immense urge to kiss her again, though, if only to thank her for taking good care of David.

"I can remove his stitches myself next week, so he doesn't need a different doctor. I'm supposed to finish early next Thursday too."

"I can ask Dr. Sloan, it's no trouble, really."

"Nonsense, he'll just corrupt the kid. I have a delicate touch." She smirks, making Derek chuckle. Of course she'll feel more confident than a plastic surgeon removing stitches. He almost rolls his eyes at her.

"I'll ask David, okay?" Derek nods. "I'm going to page you on Wednesday to confirm the appointment."

"Fine by me," she confirms, studying the scan as it comes up. "All clear, as I imagined."

"Better safe than sorry." Derek sighs in relief, leaning back a little in the chair, allowing some of the tension he has accumulated to drain away from him.

He looks at Meredith once again, and the urge to kiss her is still there. It's not time to figure out what it means just yet, though.

Kissing Meredith Grey again can wait for tomorrow.

* * *

 **A/N: Looks like this won't be the last you see of Meredith and David together, uh? I hope you liked their first meeting, even if it was a bit tumultuous. Some of you who follow me on Twitter might have seen a few snippets of scenes here and there, but beware that the final result is not always the same as the sneak peeks.  
**

 **Thank you all again for reading! I hope to see you again at the next installment.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thank you for all the love you have for this story! It makes me even happier to share it with you. Enjoy the new update!  
**

* * *

 **Chapter 8**

* * *

Meredith Grey is nervous. She hasn't been this nervous in years, but the mere idea of removing David Shepherd's stitches has her stomach tied in knots.

Or maybe it's more the way Derek is with David that makes her nervous.

Derek Shepherd is a dad.

It took her a bit to let it sink in, but now it's firmly embedded in her head, and she has a hard time believing it.

She has a thing for a dad. A single dad. Just perfect.

Meredith has a short shift today, just like the week before, and David is coming in at exactly the same time as last time, when he arrived screaming and covered in blood.

This time, when he sees her, he's smiling. He's walking beside his father, and the both of them have the most mischievous grins on their faces. Derek is in scrubs like the ninety-nine percent of the time she sees him, and she's glad he's not wearing jeans or a shirt or anything resembling what he wore at Joe's.

Except he makes scrubs look good. They look amazing on him. She only thanks the Lord they're not indigo blue like hers, or she would be screwed. He'd look amazing in attendings' scrubs. Thank God indeed for the seven years of residency.

"Dr. Grey!" David grins, greeting her with a strange excitement. "Are you going to take out my stitches?"

"I am," she smiles back, noticing that they have matching smiles. David is a compact version of Derek. Awesome.

"Good, 'cause they're itchy."

"I'm sorry," she sighs, motioning for him to sit on the exam bed. Derek picks him up under his armpits and plops him over the thin paper, David giggling happily. "Are you ready?"

"Yep!" he grins, though she sees him flinch a little as her hands come near his forehead.

"Hmm," she hums, making a show out of studying his cut. "I don't think there will be a scar," she smiles, then meets Derek's eyes for the first time. "What do you think, Dr. Shepherd?"

Derek's eyes are sparkling. "I agree with your assessment, Dr. Grey," he replies coyly. Is he flirting? Or is she so smitten that she hears him flirting even when he's just amusing his own son?

This is all kinds of bad.

"And even if there is a scar, scars make you brave," she concludes, trying to make the boy feel better.

"My Daddy has a scar just like mine," David shrugs, then tugs at Derek's hand. "See?" he says, brushing away Derek's curls to reveal his forehead. Their faces are practically aligned.

Derek's eyes are so blue. So, so blue. She gulps.

"I can see. Did he fall on the coffee table too?" She asks, joking, in order to avoid looking at how blue Derek's eyes are.

"He crashed a bike," David says seriously. "Nana was real mad."

"I bet. Was he a little boy like you or older?"

"I'm not little," David retorts, and it brings a smile to her face. "And Daddy was in school already."

"College. I was twenty-one and I crashed a motorbike, not a normal bike."

Her eyes widen. Derek Shepherd, on a motorbike. Wow. She's...nope, not going there. Not thinking about him and leather jackets and straddling things. She'd be the one doing the straddling either way.

Stop.

She takes a big gulp of air, disposing of the stitches to clear her head, avoiding the boyish smirk on her intern's face. Intern should be enough of a turn off, even without the kid currently dangling his legs off the exam table, but neither deterrent seems to be working.

"My nana was a little mad at me too for running around," David says sadly, his gaze low on his feet.

Meredith crouches down, trying to meet his eyes. "She was right, it was dangerous. You could have gotten seriously hurt."

"Daddy told me," he sighs. "He hugged me all tight too, so I know it was dangerous. He always hugs me tight when it's dangerous."

Her heart squeezes in her chest. She knows what Derek might have felt. She would hug the boy too if she had gone through the same thing.

"I promised I'd be good," David murmurs.

"I'm sure you're good, most of the time," she smiles gently, and the boy reciprocates it in stride.

"He tries." Derek chuckles, his hand moving up to squeeze David's shoulder, then abruptly falling at his side. The inability to touch his own son must suck, and yet, the two of them are tight as thieves.

"Daddy, you always get me ice cream when I'm really good and brave after OT," David begins, a clear glint in his eyes, "I was really good and brave."

Derek laughs. A full laugh that makes her insides tingle and her lips curl up automatically.

"Was he really good and brave, Dr. Grey?" he asks, mirth still filling his tone.

"He was," she says, and she couldn't have said otherwise. The two of them being this happy is so damn mesmerizing.

"Dr. Grey, you can come too!" David proposes. "Daddy knows a place where ice cream is really yummy. Do you like ice cream?"

"I do, but – "

"Good! Daddy likes gross coffee ice cream but you don't, right, Dr. Grey?"

"I like strawberry," she smiles, trying to calm down his excitement, trying to communicate her panic with Derek.

"Nugget, maybe Dr. Grey has to work some more..."

"We can wait. Or she works all the night like you do?"

"Sometimes she does, Dave."

"Oh," he gulps, his whole body deflating. He's breaking her heart. This boy is more dangerous than his father.

"Not tonight," she says gently. "I'm done working after you leave," she admits.

"Oh!" David grins, his eyes lighting up again. "Daddy is done working too!"

"You don't have to come, Dr. Grey," Derek whispers as David keeps talking excitedly about the ice cream parlor.

"I can't say no to that," she nods, a soft smile on her lips as David's arms and hands keep flailing around as he explains something about ice cream she's definitely missing, too engrossed by the way Derek's body has moved closer to hers to whisper in her ear.

"True," Derek chuckles. "I've been trying for almost five years. I can manage it, sometimes."

She melts at his soft smile. The way he looks at his son makes her insides turn into goo.

"Can we go?" David smiles, twinkling eyes and all, and she's done for good.

"We'll meet in the lobby after we have changed?" She smiles at Derek, trying to ignore how her cheeks are heating up.

"You're coming, Dr. Grey?" David's grin widens.

"I am." She wants to touch the boy's shoulder, mess his hair or something, but she doesn't. She physically restrains herself from doing so. She gives him a big grin instead, and he bounces. He lights up and physically bounces on the exam table.

David Shepherd is adorable.

"Meet you in ten," she sighs, then bolts out of the room, avoiding Derek's gaze she feels on her back. Or maybe he's looking at her ass? Bad, bad thoughts before ice cream with an almost-five year old.

She's going to be a terrible influence.

Meredith tries to ignore the voice in her head telling her that's it's a terrible idea, and instead she focuses on David. David who has SPD and who she needs to remember not to touch.

She fucks up talking to normal kids, she has no clue how to treat David. Except the boy seems to like her a lot. Though maybe it's an inherited trait, his father seems gregarious enough for David to pick up on it. They definitely have the same charm, even though the pocket-sized version of Derek Shepherd doesn't have his crooked nose.

They really look alike seen from a distance, sitting in the lobby with their heads bent over a magazine.

Good God, Derek is in a sweater. If scrubs were sexy, sweaters are making her panties uncomfortable. Crap. Double crap when he smiles. Triple crap when David dishes out a smile that matches McDreamy's perfectly. Crap, crap, crap.

She takes a deep breath as she walks near them, clutching her purse, closing her eyes for a second as she gathers her wits. She won't jump Derek Shepherd in front of his son, she won't. Her intern can't be jumped.

"Where are we going?" She uses as a greeting, smiling down at David.

" _The Ice Bear_!" David exclaims, jumping off the chair. "It's the bestest place for ice cream and it's so close," he explains. "Come on, I want my ice cream."

Derek grins, falling into step with her as David leads the way. "Sorry about his excitement. He gets like that. And it's not even the SPD, just my weird kid."

"Oh," she giggles, suddenly uncomfortable.

"Thank you for coming. I know you didn't have to."

"Usually, I eat ice cream with my youngest patients in their rooms," she hums. "After surgery."

"You get them ice cream?"

"Yeah. When they try solids," she shrugs. "It's perfectly solid."

"If you say so, Dr. Grey."

They laugh awkwardly, except it feels natural to joke with him and walk with him through the parking lot, David bouncing in front of them.

"The kids had brain surgery, they should loosen up."

"True. Also, you're my attending, I trust your methodology."

Yeah, right. She wants to hit him when he smiles so smugly. Pompous ass. Gorgeous, too, though.

"Dr. Grey, do you like sprinkles?" David asks, beaming. "Or whipped cream? Chocolate sauce?"

"All of them?" she grins. David's eyes are as wide as saucers.

"All of them together?!"

She feels Derek glaring at her. "No, not all of them together," she says, clearing her throat. Yep, she's a bad influence on the kid.

"Your favorite?"

"Chocolate sauce," she smiles. "Especially on chocolate ice cream," she winks.

"Mine too!" David grins. "Daddy, can I get chocolate with chocolate sauce like Dr. Grey?"

"Meredith," she blurts, before she can stop herself. That boy is way too charming. "Since we're ice cream twins you can call me Meredith."

"That's a pretty name. Isn't that a pretty name, Daddy?"

Derek clears his throat. "Yes, pretty." His eyes are twinkling so much she's not sure what the hell does he mean with that. This is so, so wrong.

Before she knows, Derek opens the door to a small corner shop right across the street from the hospital, keeping the door open for her. She blushes when she passes by him. The man smells good.

Immediately, David grabs a booth and plops down, bouncing on the seats.

"Can you sit here, please, Meredith?" he asks politely, patting the seat next to his.

She sighs, then leaves her bag next to him. "I'm going to get my ice cream first, okay? I'll be right back."

"Kay," he shrugs, smiling.

She gets in line but then she sees that Derek has already grabbed two cups of ice cream. Both are chocolate with chocolate sauce.

"Dr. Shepherd," she sighs, walking to him. "Derek," she blurts, staring him down.

"He invited you, I was going to pay. Consider it returning the favor for last week," he smirks, thrusting the ice cream in her hands. "Hope a cup is okay. I can get you a cone."

"This is fine, it's okay, it's perfect and I'll just…"

"Yeah," he hums, his eyes sparkling. Stupid blushing. "I'll be right with you."

Meredith takes David's ice cream too and walks back to the booth where the boy is sitting. This is going to be the longest ice cream time of her life.

* * *

Derek's heart soars at the sight of David talking so freely with a near stranger. He's usually shy and rambly when he meets people, but he hit it off immediately with Dr. Grey. Meredith. God, he'd say her name forever. Better if he'd scream himself hoarse while saying it but...okay, that was uncalled for.

She is gorgeous, though, that he can't deny. Even after her shift, wearing nothing but slightly baggy jeans and a plain t-shirt, she looks gorgeous. And he's doomed.

She's laughing happily with David, her green eyes twinkling, and he has no idea how to keep himself from kissing her in front of his son.

"Daddy! Meredith thinks this is the bestest ice cream ever!" David exclaims as soon as he spots him, and his smile widens automatically. It has been a hard week, an uncomfortable one for both of them, and he's glad to see David smiling this widely again.

"Pretty good, uh?" he says, sneaking a look at her as he sits right opposite to her.

"I'll definitely come back after a long shift."

"Or grab the ice cream for your patients here."

She laughs loudly when he winks, and he wants to hear that sound more often. She's usually so serious, so focused, it's nice to see her loosen up. Of course she has to be serious at work, she's a neurosurgeon, and a young one at that, someone that has everything to prove, but he knows that he'd be lucky if he becomes even half of the neurosurgeon she already is. Because she shares ice cream with her patients, and if David loves her, she's genuinely a good person, considering how picky his son is with his friends or how hard it is for him to open up to people.

"Here," she says softly, holding out a napkin to David, whose mouth is rounded with chocolate. He almost has a beard, not just moustaches. "There's ice cream on your nose too."

Derek is about to reach out and do it himself, because that's what he usually does, but David ignores him and just moves his face towards the napkin she's holding out.

"Can you do it? I can't see my nose."

She giggles, gently wiping his son's nose, and while David looks pretty uncomfortable for a millisecond, he grins and bears it. She cleans him with the same gentleness she used while she was stitching him up, and he could watch them together forever.

Oh, wow. This is bad. Thinking about forever is bad. David doesn't need a mother, no matter how much he wants him to have one. This is way too rushed. Definitely _not_ thinking about forever when they have barely kissed and shared a couple of drinks in a bar.

He'll blame a brain freeze for these thoughts. It's definitely better than admitting how attracted he is to his attending.

Brain freeze it is.

* * *

 **A/N: So, did this second meeting between Meredith and David meet your expectations?  
**

 **I received a couple of guest reviews asking for daily updates, and I have to tell you, that's not my MO. I can't do daily updates, not even if I wanted to. I can do weekly at best. I know it can be frustrating, but I wish I could dedicate my whole day do fanfic/writing and do nothing else.**

 **Also, I remember a guest saying that maybe Meredith can find a cure for David: there's no cure for what he has. SPD is a different way of processing what happens around him in terms of sounds, sights, touches and smells/tastes. He can mange it and live a normal life, but he needs to learn a few techniques, hence why he goes to occupational therapy. It is usually associated with forms of autism, but it's not what David has. If you guys want more details, contact me on Twitter (IreneB92) so I can send you a bunch of links I used during research. I'm also glad that for those who are familiar with SPD, this story feels authentic. I couldn't have wished for anything better!  
**

 **Thank you for reading, even my ramblings!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So, there was plenty of David in the past couple of chapters, but Meredith and Derek do have friends of their own. Let's see how's that going for them, uh?  
**

* * *

 **Chapter 9**

* * *

Someone is knocking.

Meredith blinks blearily, as she hears the door open. Door. Hospital smell. Faded couch. Yep, definitely Seattle Grace Hospital.

"Did you fall asleep in your office again?" A familiar voice reaches her ears, and she lifts her head, a smile stretching automatically.

"I work a lot, Mags," she jabs back, straightening up her back as her little sister walks inside and closes the door, then plops herself in one of her armchairs.

"Yeah, right, super neurosurgeon, the apple of Mom's eye…" she teases, a playful glint in her chocolate eyes.

"Maggie, we both know you're the apple of Mom's eye. And Dad's," Meredith rolls her eyes. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in class? Dartmouth?"

"You should get a dog, he will give you a reason to get home. No, wait, you'd kill a dog and he will pee everywhere, since you're never home. A cat. I'm finding you a cat for Christmas."

"Maggie! Cats are not presents, and Christmas is months away!" Meredith groans. "And you still haven't answered my question."

Maggie huffs, in the same way she did when she was five, and Meredith tries her best to hide her smile. "The dean gave a week to all the best students explore all their possible choices for internships so that those behind can catch up on schoolwork. I'm exploring."

"Oh, I have to train you too, now?" Meredith groans, though her smile widens. "I'm happy for you, Margaret."

"Stop calling me that!" she grins, and all of a sudden, she doesn't look all that young anymore.

Her baby sister looks like a woman. Well, she is a woman, but she has always been young in Meredith's eyes. Now, they're almost on the same playing field, and there's something different in her gaze. She is older, she has wisened up, and it shows in her demeanor. She might still be the same bookish, nerdy, funny sister she grew up with, but she looks different.

Her hair is still curly and soft, her eyes still wide and kind like Richard's, even though he always says they both have their mother's smile. Meredith has seen her mother smile so rarely she's not sure she can agree with him. Either way, Maggie has matured, and Meredith feels like she has missed it.

"How's the boyfriend?" Meredith quips, then, wanting to tease her sister a bit more, to uncover her childish side again.

Of course the child prodigy is not only kicking ass in medical school and doesn't have a flavor for tequila like she did during her own years in college, she's also in a pretty stable relationship, a meet-the-parents kind of relationship.

"He's fine. Dean's fine." Her eyes are sad when she says that, and she can't look at her in the eyes.

"Right," Meredith snorts, and Maggie takes a deep breath. "Mags –"

"He cuddles," she blurts, her eyes widening. "He's a cuddler and I hate when he wraps his arms around me after sex." Meredith grimaces; she really doesn't want to hear about her baby sister's sex life, even if this issue sounds important.

"But he's your boyfriend. I'm the one that kicks out boys before they can cuddle."

"So you get it, how awkward it is, right?"

Meredith frowns. "Look, you know I suck at this, but aren't you supposed to, you know, enjoy it? I mean, you love the guy, you care about him. You've been with Dean for what, two years? I can't believe you never shared a bed."

"I flee," she hums. "I let him fall asleep then I go to sleep on the couch and set an alarm."

"Oh," she can't help but blurt, unable to school her expression.

"He proposed," Maggie murmurs. "He proposed and I ran. Holy crap, I'm horrible. He proposed and I said no and left like a bat out of hell!"

"Maggie, stop," Meredith sighs. She's completely out of her element here. Her sister is having a relationship avalanche, and she has no clue how to deal with it. Her only somewhat serious relationship had been Finn, and even then, it only became serious because they were forced to make it so. She has no terms of comparison.

"Dean is a good guy, he treats me well, and I can't even sleep next to him."

"Margaret Harper Grey Webber!" Meredith snickers, and Maggie stops her rambling, her jaw slack. "Yes, I did just middle-name you. Listen to me."

"Sorry," she murmurs, looking down at the floor.

"When I was with Finn," she starts, but Maggie interrupts her, a wary look in her gaze. She gets her sister, she _never_ brings up Finn, but this one sounds like one of the rare times she can make an exception.

"Meredith, you don't need to talk about him."

"When I was with Finn, before he left me alone and with way too many responsibilities to deal with at twenty-four, I liked when he held me. Yes, it was weird at first and I didn't feel all that loved there, not to the point that I'd let my guard down, but I was with Finn for six months, not two years. What we had was new, it became big and exploded and we fell apart, but I'm sure that I would have learned how to like cuddling in two years."

Maggie's eyes are still downcast, and Meredith regrets her outburst. Especially because she's pretty sure she has made her sister cry.

"You think I should be ready to marry him?" Maggie sniffles.

"No. You'll know when and if you're ready to marry him. I'm pretty sure that even if everything had unfolded differently, I would have never married Finn."

"Why?" she frowns, finally looking up, and her eyes are puffy. Meredith hands her a tissue, and she cracks a sad smile in return.

"I couldn't see a future with Finn."

"But – "

"Yes, I could see _the_ future, I was warming up to what was going to happen and the idea of sharing my life with him, but Finn was hardly ever in my plans."

"Do you miss him?" Maggie whispers, and Meredith's heart clenches, knowing exactly who she's referring to.

"Finn?" she asks, playing dumb. She already has a lump in her throat.

"David."

"Yes," she croaks out without a doubt. "Not a day goes by that I don't think about him."

They fall into a heavy silence as Meredith closes her eyes, leaning back on her chair with her hands folded in her lap, relishing and dreading the same memories.

There's a knock on the door again and both sisters try to recompose themselves.

Derek enters shyly, studying the scene, barely stepping inside the threshold.

"Dr. Shepherd," she greets him softly, taking a deep breath. "What is it?"

"I'm your intern for the day. I know you had Yang today, but she had a shorter shift today and I need to go back home and start cooking after lunch so I switched, and – "

"Alright," she sighs, her lips twitching up in a smile at his insecurity. Yes, he can be the cockiest man alive when it's just the two of them, but when he's an intern and there are people, he still needs to build up his confidence; she finds this endearing. "Are you familiar with Mrs. Hudson's case?"

"Fifty-one-year-old female, spinal meningioma pressing on the vertebrae from L2 to L4. Chemotherapy and radiations cleared the margins, but she still complains of numbness in her legs. It still hasn't metastasized and – "

"Thank you, Dr. Shepherd," she smiles, winning his cocky, dreamy smile back. "I need another CT and MRI just to make sure it hasn't expanded further, then you can prep her for surgery."

"I'm on it, Dr. Grey," he nods, turning towards the door.

"How's David?" she asks, before she can stop herself. Maggie gives her a pointed look, begging her for an explanation later.

"He's bragging about his cut with all his friends. He even called his cousins all the way in New York," he chuckles. "It's already fading, though, don't worry," he winks, before he leaves the room.

"What was that? Or better, who is that?"

"That's my intern," Meredith sighs, playing it cool, even though she knows Maggie is going to read right through her.

"Your hot intern. He's old, though."

"Long story," Meredith sighs.

"How do you know his story? Are you taking advantage of him?"

Her eyes widen. "Maggie!"

"What? I'd do him. He looks like he'd be really good in bed…"

"Stop it!"

"Oh, you're so thinking about doing the nasty with your intern," she giggles, and Meredith blushes. "Can't blame you, though, he's gorgeous."

"Maggie, come on," she whines, hoping it can keep her out of trouble. Maggie doesn't cave, even though she stops the teasing only to break into a fit of giggles.

"Okay, fine, I'm stopping," she takes a deep breath, her eyes leaking tears of laughter.

"Thank you," Meredith quips, rolling her eyes.

At least her sister is laughing now, instead of moping about Dean.

There's another knock at her door, before Mark Sloan peeks his face in.

"Joe's, tonight, nine o' clock. Don't...hey!" He grins, as soon as he spots Maggie sitting in his chair. "Hello, beautiful," he smirks, winning an eye-roll from Maggie.

"Don't even think about it, Sloan. That's my sister. My little sister."

"Oh, wow. Bring her along!"

"Mark, seriously – "

"We're just drinking, Grey."

"I could use a night out, Mer," Maggie grins, eyeing Mark.

"He has a girlfriend, but fine. I'll need the tequila if our parents want to have dinner together with her," she relents.

"See you then, I'm bringing Addie."

Fabulous. She'll have to witness the two of them making out for another night.

She groans. She needs new friends.

* * *

The flavor of the sauce on the spoon explodes on his tastebuds and Derek smiles.

Perfect.

He grins as he watches the mess that is his kitchen, now bathed in light, as David sits at the table and works on his homework. He told him to get started on it in his room, but of course at the first roadblock his son has set camp in the kitchen and never left. He did the same when he was a kid, it's not surprising. And David is probably milking it, since Derek knows coloring the right shapes is not beyond David's abilities. Derek can't blame him, though. He knows he's excited about tonight.

The doorbell rings, and David's head perks up. "Your friends!" he grins, before he rushes out of the kitchen.

Derek hears the muffled voices from the hall getting closer and closer as he stirs the pasta in the pot.

"Shepherd," Cristina greets him a smirk on her lips. "The resemblance between you and your minion is even more striking in flesh and blood."

"I have the best genes," Derek laughs.

He turns around and greets the rest of his interns' gang. They chit chat about mindless stuff as they get to know each other better and they all try to figure out David, while David tries to figure them out as well.

They move the party to the living room, turned into a dining room for the occasion, and David boasts about the fact that he set up most of the table all on his own. Izzie of course encourages him and turns into her cheerful, giggling self, while the other three have more moderate reactions.

Derek is enjoying the fact that David gets along well with his friends. He never had many, especially not close friends, but working a hundred hours a week with someone, dealing with life or death situations, pushes you to become good friends. He's glad he has more, not just Mark and Addison now. He loves his family, and he's glad that his mother moved closer to him as soon as he moved to Seattle and became a father, but that doesn't change that he enjoys a different kind of company.

Cristina is snarky and honest, and he finds her brutality refreshing sometimes. Alex and George keep him sane, in their very own peculiar ways. Izzie is...happy. She's dark too, but her perkiness usually overshadows that. He feels pretty happy himself with what he has, considering all the sacrifices he had to make.

David laughs at one of Cristina's jokes, and he knows it was worth it.

"Wow," Izzie practically moans after eating her first morsel of cheesecake. Dessert has definitely come too soon. "The texture of this is perfect."

"I have no idea what she means, but this is a mean cheesecake. Where did you buy it?" Alex asks, eating one of the blueberries off the top.

"I made it myself. I mixed a couple of recipes I've tried during the years. Lots of attempts before this."

"I love it."

"Daddy always makes it 'cause it's my favoritest cake in the world."

"With berries?" Cristina frown. "You're weird, kid."

"No, I like it with chocolate, but Daddy said grown-ups like berries," David sighs, clearly disappointed.

"Grown-ups like chocolate too," she winks, and David grins at her.

As much as David tries to stay up and keep the lively atmosphere alive, by nine he's yawning like there's no tomorrow, so Derek forces him into bed.

"Okay, now that the midget is gone," Cristina smirks devilishly as soon as he climbs downstairs. "Let's get to the gossip."

"What gossip?"

"About you, feeling up Dr. Grey at Joe's," Izzie smirks too, her eyes glimmering in expectations.

"There wasn't any feeling up. We just left together and I walked her home because she was slightly drunk."

"She gets drunk?" George mutters under his breath.

"Of course she does, she must live a lonely, pathetic life, considering how stuck up she is," Alex shrugs. "Maybe you could help her, Shep. If she gets laid, maybe she's a little less cranky during rounds."

Derek clears his throat. "No way."

"Oh, you want to do Grey, I know it." Cristina snickers.

"She's...hot. She's hot."

"Dude, she is, but she's dangerous. I wouldn't let my good friend near her anytime soon."

"Is that a boy code for penis, Karev? Lame," Cristina grins, and the others try to repress their laughter.

"Seriously, it won't look good for you," George suggests. "The rest of the interns will cry favoritism, attendings will blackmail you. Not pretty."

"It happened in the hospital I did my clinicals. Definitely not pretty," Izzie nods.

Derek gulps, hiding his gaze in the carpet.

"Oh God, don't tell me you're already sleeping with her!" Cristina exclaims.

"No!" he blurts quickly. "We...kissed. Once. In an elevator. I – "

"You have a crush on her!" Karev sing-songs, the rest of them snickering at his expenses.

"David sounds more mature than you, guys," he defends himself, though they are still giggling.

"Seriously, do you like her?" Izzie asks, sobering up.

"I think I do? I'm not sure. There's something there."

"That explains the looks," Izzie nods, turning towards Cristina.

"Eye sex."

Derek's eyes widen at Cristina's jab, though she drops the subject quickly.

"She's not David's baby mama, though, right?" George asks, looking a little confused.

"What? Of course not. Why would she be?"

"Gossip," Alex replies plainly.

"They saw you guys exit together a couple of times, and David was with you. They're assuming a lot of things."

"Yeah, she's not. I told you how I got David."

"What was that like?" Geroge asks. "I mean, one day you're getting ready for your intern exam, the next you're a father?"

"Pretty much. I was thinking about going back to New York for my residency and he showed up." Derek smiles. "It was hard at first. And not just because he was a baby. I knew babies. My sisters call me the baby whisperer."

"It's because of his SPD, huh?" Alex says.

"He's not a fan of touching, and he was even worse before. Now I know that I can hold him tightly and he calms down, back then it took me two weeks on virtually no sleep to figure out he had to be swaddled as tight as possible. As soon as the swaddle became loose, he cried. It was maddening."

"That sounds impossible," George sighs.

"It felt like it at times." He takes a moment to reminish his past with David while his friends reflect on his words.

"Do you think that's why his mother abandoned him?"

"I...yes," he admits. "Terry said in her letter that she tried, but she couldn't be a mother, and I can't blame her. Though I'm sure having more love around would have helped him."

"She did what she thought was best," Cristina shrugs.

"It's the hardest decision," Izzie murmurs. "You can't blame her for doing what she thought was best for David."

"I don't," Derek says, frowning at Izzie's reaction, though everybody in the room looks a bit confused by how fiercely she's defending Terry.

"I had a baby at sixteen," Izzie confesses. "I gave her up for adoption. Her name is Hannah."

"Oh," Derek hums, unable to say anything more, even though he knows what it might feel like for Izzie to have given up her baby. He couldn't imagine doing it himself, though. Silence stretches.

"Though, really, your doorstep? That was rom-com cheesy," Cristina snickers, and they finally start laughing again.

* * *

Joe's is packed, and Meredith is somewhat glad Mark and Addison are already there. They're squabbling, as usual, but she's sure they're just one step closer before they start sucking face and go fuck in the bathroom. Or worse, leave.

Maggie looks around herself and she seems giddy at the mere idea of hanging out with attendings. She's been legal for a couple of years, and Meredith still can't picture her in a bar. Maggie belongs near a book, usually, though she cleans up nicely.

At least Mark has the decency to keep his slewy comments to himself when she proceeds with the introductions.

"So," Mark smirks, clearly cutting to the chase. "Are you screwing Derek?"

Maggie almost spits her drink while Meredith tries her best not to choke. Addison limits herself to a snort, while Mark smiles smugly, sipping his scotch.

"What? Of course I'm not, he's an intern," Meredith fires up, glaring at her sort-of friend.

"But you'd do him?" Maggie jumps in, looking genuinely elated at the prospect of gossip.

Meredith rolls her eyes, and tries to ignore the mental images of their elevator kiss. Oh, yes, she'd totally do him.

"There are rumors saying you're David's mom, of course I'm worried," Mark shrugs, and Maggie's eyes widen.

"How could I have possibly given birth to Derek's son when we didn't even know each other at the time of David's conception? I wasn't even in Seattle back then."

"Tell that to gossip. Maybe you were the one night stand," Mark jabs.

"You're impossible," she grumbles, drowning her shot of tequila.

"She was in a relationship at the time," Maggie grins, and this time it's Mark who is speechless.

"She what?" Addison blurts.

"Finn. He was studying to be a vet," Maggie continues, even though Meredith has already kicked her under the table, twice.

"Vets aren't real doctors, Grey. That was lame." Mark at least is attempting to make the situation a little less uncomfortable, but he's failing miserably.

"I was young, I made mistakes."

"Mer, he was way too kind and perfect. You can't have perfect," Maggie shrugs.

"Oh, thank you so much for the vote of confidence," she snaps, asking Joe's for another round.

"You know what she means. The dude wanted a wife, a bunch of kids, a dog and the white picket fence, I'm sure," Mark says. "You would have rotted away not being a surgeon."

"Yeah. I'm not sure I ever loved him, though. It was complicated back then."

"We're dropping it," Addison shares a poignant look with the other occupants of the table, sipping her drink.

"Thank you. And no, I'm not sleeping with Shepherd. I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole."

"Is that the intern?" Maggie asks.

"Yeah, that's him."

"Right!" she giggles, "Of course you will never touch him."

"Do you like Derek?" Addison prods, smirking slightly.

"He's nice. A decent intern."

"And?" Addison grins.

"He's...handsome."

"Gorgeous," Maggie blurts, disguising it in between coughs.

"I never said that!"

"I did," Maggie laughs, while Mark pulls a face.

"I should show you his high school photos. Definitely nothing gorgeous there."

"Why did you walk out of the hospital with him and David all giggly, then? Unless that was another rumor…" Addison, grins, sipping her drink.

"David wanted some ice cream. I always get my young patients ice cream after surgery," she sighs.

"You gave him stitches, Grey," Mark grumbles, probably mumbling something about the fact that he's a plastic surgeon under his breath as well.

"Still my patient," she shrugs.

"Did he pay?" Maggie asks, even more intrigued now.

"He had already paid before I could argue. And he didn't take my money."

"So it was a date!" she exclaims.

"I agree with the sister," Addison shrugs, giving her a smirk. "Even manwhore Mark knows that when he pays it's a date."

"Oh, man, I think you went on a fake date with Shepherd and his kid!" Maggie exclaims, widening her eyes in mock surprise.

All of them laugh, and she's glad that her sister and her sort of friends are getting along. She needed the night out, even if they're teasing her, or dragging up old memories. She truly hopes no nurses are around to hear about fake dates with interns, or she'll never hear the end of it at the hospital.

* * *

 **A/N: Well, looks like a few of their skeletons are being let out of the closet, uh? Even though Meredith does seem to have a bit more of a past compared to Derek... What do you guys think? Do you still want to know more?  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry for the unexpected hiatus. Easter week has been busy and filled with lots of different activities that didn't leave much room for writing. I'll try to update at least weekly, but I can't promise anything. You guys feel free to bug me when it's been too long between updates, sometimes it works!**

* * *

 **Chapter 10**

* * *

A whole lot of charting, very little sleep: not the night shift Derek has dreamed of.

He's been living with tiredness for the past two months, and even he can recognize that this is a completely different kind of tiredness. He's been constantly experiencing some of the highest highs and the lowest lows of a lot of people, and it's catching up with him. He also knows he doesn't want to be the next intern having a nervous breakdown and leaving the program.

"Daddy!"

The reason why he has to keep going and become a resident comes barreling towards him, a backpack floundering from his shoulders as his little legs carry him through the aisle. David stops in front of him and catches his breath, his eyes shining with alertness.

"David, how did you get here?" Derek smiles, listening to his son giggle.

"Nana took me. She's slow, Daddy."

"Oh, here she comes," he smiles, seeing his mother walk towards them, shaking her head. "Are you too excited for slow?" he asks, and David nods eagerly.

"First day of school, Daddy, of course I'm excited," he shrugs. "I'm a big boy, now."

"You are," he sighs, memories of his newborn son flashing through his mind. Derek knows he's just as scared as he was the very first time he held him, and right now he's flying just as blindly as he was when his mother dropped David into his care.

"Daddy," he murmurs, sobering up as his mother comes closer and stands behind him. "Are you sure I will have fun?"

"I'm sure. You have to listen to your teacher and do what she says, but kindergarten is fun. You know, I'm in school too, now, so believe me, it is fun," he grins, hoping he can be a good liar.

He remembers being teased and being the butt of stupid jokes before he became friends with Mark, and he knows David will have it even worse, but he can't discourage the boy even before starting. He'll take the brunt of it when the time will come.

"Do I have to go to school if I want to be a firefighter?"

Derek frowns. This one is new, but he'll go with it. "Yes. Firefighters need to be smart and know all about fires and chemicals and building structures before being firefighters."

"Okay," he sighs. "And I'll learn how to read and write and count numbers?"

"You will," Derek smiles, watching as he dances on his heels.

"Nana, did you like school?"

"I met your Pops when I was in school," she winks, her eyes shining. Derek wishes he'd find a love that will make his eyes twinkle even forty years after they've met.

David is still pondering her answer when his eyes light up too, and his lips curl up in a smile. "Meredith!" he shouts, and Derek turns around as well.

Meredith is walking out in street clothes, looking tired and slightly dejected. Her lips curl up in a smile when she spots David, her whole demeanor relaxing. Her aura makes Derek's shoulders loosen too.

"David, hey, good morning! You're here early," she smiles, and David squares his shoulders and puffs out what little chest he has.

"Did you like school?" His son blurts, a flicker of worry in his eyes.

"School was fun. I learned a lot of new things there, I loved that."

"Daddy said I will have fun there."

"You will. You will meet new friends and play games with them. You will have a great time," she reassures, even though the way her eyes dull for a second makes him wonder if she didn't have a great time in school either. "Is it your first day?" she smiles, looking up to meet Derek's eyes in confirmation. He nods slightly, unable to speak when she looks at him so intensely.

"It is," David hums. "I need to be brave."

"You are brave," his mother tells him.

"You are. One of the bravest boys I've ever met," Meredith adds, and David relaxes his shoulders at her words.

"Can brave boys hold hands?" David whispers, looking down at his brand new trainers.

Meredith smiles so sweetly he's melting as well. "Of course," she grins, "I'm sure Daddy will be happy to hold your hand," she says, looking up at him.

Derek reaches out for David's hand, and he feels the boy cling to him, his cold fingers gripping his tightly. "Better?" Derek asks, giving the smaller hand a firm squeeze.

"Meredith?" David looks up, his tone cautious. "Can you hold my hand too?" Meredith puts out her palm, and David grabs it tightly, his breathing evening out. "You and Daddy are the bravest people I know," David admits.

"Why is that?" she asks, a smile on her lips.

"Cause you cut into brains," he nods. "Nana is brave too, but not as brave as you."

Derek hears his mother muffle a laugh, then mutter: "I've been replaced." Meredith laughs too.

"Can you come to school with me?" David asks sweetly, holding onto Meredith a little tighter.

"I can't come inside with you," Meredith smiles. "You'll have to be brave."

"What about the door? Daddy said he'll take me to the door."

Derek has no idea what to do. She's looking at him, a flicker of fear in her eyes, and yet she's still holding onto David and faking a smile. "Maybe she's busy, David," he tries to deflect his intentions and give her an out.

"I'm not," she murmurs. "I...I can come," she sighs, her voice shaking a little.

"Good," David nods seriously, still looking tense.

"Let's go, then, or we will be late," his mother says, eyeing him and Meredith suspiciously. Derek gives her his best confused look, because he has no idea what is going on either. He knows he'll be grilled about her later.

It feels weird to walk out of the hospital with Meredith Grey, his son between them, crushing their hands with his tight hold. The school he picked for him is right around the corner from the hospital, since he figured the closer it is the better, and he has never been more grateful for the fact that they're walking there. He needs the distraction.

David is asking Meredith all kinds of questions as they get to the school, and she answers every single one, a laugh or a giggle escaping their lips more than once.

"Derek, are you seeing Meredith?" His mother sneaks up on him and startles him, whispering in his ear.

"I'm not," he replies quickly. "I have no idea what's going on, or why David is so fascinated with her."

"David has a crush on her, just like you had a crush on your English teacher in first grade. That was adorable, by the way."

"What? I didn't…" he protests, his eyes wide, and he knows he's probably blushing.

"Derek, do you have a crush on her, too?"

"No," he replies firmly, too firmly, and his mother reads right through his lie. Crap. "Definitely not."

She ends the conversation with a hum that means they are far from done with the prodding, and he's not looking forward to the moment she will bring up the issue again.

David freezes in front of the school gate, halting their walk.

"This is the moment to be brave, David," Meredith tells him, as his mother smiles down at him.

"Daddy, you promised you'd take me into my classroom."

"I did," he smiles at his son, "but Nana and Meredith can't come with us."

"Okay," David murmurs, sounding small and tiny, and not at all ready for independence.

"I want to hear all about school the next time we'll see each other, okay?" Meredith smiles, crouching down in front of him and brushing an invisible lint from the boy's t-shirt.

"Okay," he says, nodding.

She raises on her feet again, then steps beside his mother. David waves goodbye to both of them, sighing loudly as they disappear inside. His hand is crushing his the closer they get to his classroom.

They have been there together the morning before, they stayed for three hours to get to know the place and the teacher, but today it's his first day on his own, and Derek is not sure he can let him go either.

"I'll have fun?" David asks again, gulping.

"You will. You will have tons of stories for me when you get home."

"And my teacher is nice."

"She is. Do you remember Mrs. Culver?"

"I do. She is nice and she smiles a lot."

"She does. She will take good care of you," he reassures, because the teacher really seemed understanding of his problems. He picked this school because they seemed the most skilled to deal with David's SPD, and he's glad it's the school closest to the hospital too. He knows David's school stay will never be perfect, but he's at least starting out with the best deck of cards.

David seems a little intimidated by the older kids wandering around, but Derek knows it will be just a matter of time before he gets used to it. He has to. The OT told him it was the best idea for him to go to school and socialize, learn how to deal with his issues by himself now that he's growing up. It will be a hard few months of adjustment, but they'll find a way.

They reach the door and David's eyes widen at all the other kids already in the room. The class is half filled when they enter, and Mrs. Culver greets them with a warm hello, motioning for David to pick a desk.

David looks undecided for a moment, before choosing one in the middle of the row on the farthest left. Derek helps him settle his backpack and sighs when David sits down. He looks like a grown boy, now.

"I'll be brave," he murmurs.

"You will," Derek repeats, feeling his eyes well up with happy tears. "You are the bravest boy I have ever met."

"I love you, Daddy," he says, and Derek can't help himself, he plants a kiss on the top of his head. David's arms go around his neck and they share a burrito hug.

When Derek lets go, David looks almost okay. "I love you too, D-Man. Have fun today, and I'll be ready to hear all about it when I pick you up later."

"I'm ready, Daddy," he smiles.

"I know you are," Derek replies, standing up from the crouching position he was, then he leaves the classroom, saying goodbye to the teacher, then waving at David.

He takes deep breaths as he walks back outside, unsure of what he's feeling exactly. Right out of the gate, his mother is still talking with Meredith, the two women smiling, even though Meredith looks awkward and uncomfortable.

"How was he?" his mother asks right away, her scrutinizing eyes ready to pick up on his every eventual lie.

"Brave," Derek smiles. "He'll be okay. It won't be easy, but he'll figure it out."

"Good," his mother nods.

"I'm sorry he dragged you here, Dr. Grey," he says, knowing he should at least attempt an apology.

"I had the worst night shift ever, Shepherd, I'm glad he made my day start off a little better."

"He usually does that," Derek grins, and Meredith's cheeks turn pink. "Do you...coffee? Breakfast?" he stammers, knowing he sounds ridiculous. "To pay you back."

"Breakfast better not involve muesli, Derek," his mother smirks, and he rolls his eyes, his turn to blush.

"Pancakes? French toasts? There's a diner on the next block," he offers, not knowing if he's being too forward.

"I know, that's where Dr. Sloan asks his interns to grab his coffee."

"What?" His mother's eyes widen. "Oh, I have to talk to that boy…"

Meredith giggles, then yawns. "Maybe next time? I'm about to drop."

"Okay," he sighs, not even sure why he feels disappointed. His body is about to fail him too, so maybe it's better this way. "I'm sorry you had a bad night, Dr. Grey."

"They happen. Hope yours was better."

"Not really," he chuckles. "I'll see you around?"

"I have an interesting case coming in tomorrow, Dr. Shepherd. Corpus callosotomy. Study up," she grins, then says goodbye to his mother and disappears.

"Wow," his mother breathes out, and he knows he's blushing again.

"Ma, drop it. She's my boss."

"I wasn't even eighteen when your dad proposed to me," his mother smirks, "I know all about inappropriate, that's all I'm saying."

"Ma…"

"Just...think about it."

She doesn't say anything more, but he's scared that she's right. That it's not just a simple boss-subordinate infatuation for him and that he should explore something more with her. He remembers their kiss, how her body fit with his, how natural it looks for them to be a pretend family, and he knows he can't go there. He can't let his guard down and risk David getting hurt.

He wants to explore their connection, the calm feeling that washes over him every time they share a room, or the admiration he has for her, and yet, he knows he can't. David comes first. He always will.

Not even his infatuation for Meredith Grey will make him regret David. And he knows that if it's meant to be like his mother is insinuating, they'll find a way to work it out. Just like his parents did.

* * *

 **A/N: So, David is growing up, and Carolyn knows a bit too much for Derek's comfort. What will happen? Stay tuned to find out!  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sorry it took me a while to get this one out in the open, real life always intervenes.**

 **I hope you'll enjoy this one nonetheless!**

* * *

 **Chapter 11**

* * *

Meredith takes off her scrub cap, sighing as she sees her resident move to update the family and tell them that Mr. Higgs will live to see his grandson being born. She's emotionally drained, or she would have done it herself. She knows they will have too many questions, questions she's not ready to answer just now.

The surgery has been long and tricky at times, and she really needs something sugary to eat to feel human again. Piles of paperwork await her, she'll answer questions when she'll go check on Mr. Higgs later.

The coffee cart is a beacon of hope, and the bagels there look perfect, even if they are the healthy ones with all kinds of grains on top. If they have salmon bagels she might keel over and start weeping.

Yeah, her flare for the dramatic is pretty strong after a seven-hour surgery, but she blames her tired, overworked body.

She hasn't slept well in the past few days, since David Shepherd asked her to take him to school and she held his hand, the memories of how strong and soft his fingers felt into hers bringing her back to a dark place she thought she had gotten over, but yet she's still knee-deep into it. A dark place she doesn't want to revise anytime soon. All the same, she has no idea how to say away from David. The kid has wormed his way into her heart.

Meredith pays for the salmon bagel and sits on the closest bench she can find, relishing the tepid September sun in the cafeteria courtyard. She closes her eyes and moans at the first morsel, the taste and texture of the salmon exploding in her mouth, together with the cream cheese and the lettuce.

She hears a child-like giggle next to her that forces her eyes open. Her mouth gapes open.

"Hi, Meredith!" little David Shepherd says, waving his hand genuinely, his eyes sparkling, his smile bright and mischievous.

"Hi, David," she gulps, studying the boy, looking around to prepare herself for the arrival of Shepherd or his mother or someone else taking care of the boy.

"What are you eating?" he asks.

"Salmon bagel," she replies, looking down at her maimed bagel before taking another bite out of habit, still too stunned to process what she's doing.

"Salmon like the fish?" he prods.

"Yep," she says around her last bite. "Do you like it?"

"Dunno," David shrugs. "I never tasted it. Is it yummy?"

"Really yummy," she smiles. "Do you want to try a bite?"

David makes a face, tapping his chin with his index finger in a way that is both adorable and irresistible, before he says: "Dunno."

Meredith giggles. "Where is your dad? I think he already knows if you like salmon or not."

"He's working."

"And your Nana?"

"Home."

Meredith frowns. "Who's here with you?"

"Daddy gots to work for a little more and I'm waiting. I supposed to stay with Nurse Rose but she was eating licorice and she smelled funny."

"I see," she nods, understanding the situation. Of course the boy escaped from the care of a nurse. "Do you want to find your dad?"

"He's gotta work," he shrugs, though he's still eyeing the bagel in her hand with hunger. Meredith looks are her watch and notices that it's already dinner time.

"Are you hungry?"

"Kinda," he sighs, but she knows he's downplaying it.

"You know what? Try a bite of my bagel, I'll buy you another if you like it."

David grins as he accepts the piece of bagel she tears from the unbitten half. Meredith watches as the boy munches on the morsel for a moment, swirling the treat around his mouth before he smiles triumphantly.

"I love it!" he exclaims, grinning brightly.

Meredith stands up and buys two other bagels right away. She knows she won't say no to another half bagel by the time she's back in her office, doing paperwork, and David looks famished.

They sit on the bench quietly as they both finish their dinner, Meredith buying juice boxes for both of them. David giggles a lot while she sips from the straw, and Meredith loves how his eyes twinkle as the sun starts to set. David updates her on his first days in kindergarten, sounding happy and excited about everything, and she basks into his happiness, allowing it to relax her.

"Alright," she says when their bagels have been demolished, only the oily wrappings remaining. "I have some paperwork to do, do you want to come to my office and color with me? I'll make sure Daddy will be able to find you when he's done working."

"Cool!" he grins. "I love coloring!"

Meredith sighs in relief, throwing away her trash in the right recycling bin before they both walk side by side in direction of her office. She leaves a note for Shepherd at the nurses' station about David's whereabouts, then leads the boy to her office.

David launches himself on the office chair, giggling as he spins around while she gathers her paperwork.

"Tell you what, you stay in the chair, I'll do my paperwork on the other side," she grins back, enjoying the boy's smile too much to have him move.

"Uncle Mark has a fun chair like this," David explains, spinning and spinning.

"I know," she grins. "I've seen his office."

"He has lots of pictures I made him. Do you want a picture, too?"

"I would love one." She smiles softly as David nods seriously while he studies the blank sheet of paper in front of him.

"What's your favorite animal?"

Her eyes widen. "What about you draw me your favorite?" she deadpans, and David grins brightly.

"I love lions. They are so brave!"

"Lions are great," she smiles, finding some old colored pencils she uses to underline her journal articles, then putting them in front of David.

David doesn't mind that there are only four colors for him to work with, he takes his drawing very seriously, his focused frown something Meredith can't help but stare at for a full minute before she tears her eyes away and focuses on her paperwork.

Her attention is often pulled away from the charts as David starts humming a song under his breath. She doesn't know the tune, but she bites back a smile either way. This kid is a hoot.

The next time she looks up though, David is spinning again on the chair, the drawing forgotten, as engrossed as he is in spinning faster and faster.

It all happens in a second. David spins a little too forcefully and the chair tips forward.

Meredith jumps up and catches the boy before he can fall with his teeth on the desk, bringing him close to her chest as the chair clatters in the fall.

The air in the room shifts. David's eyes widen and Meredith holds her breath. Then she remembers about the SPD and her heart shatters in her chest.

David scrambles away from her lap and hides under her desk, curled up in the farthest corner.

"David?" she murmurs softly, as his first sob breaks through the air. "Are you okay?"

David keeps sobbing and shaking his head, tearing her heart in two.

"David, are you hurt? What happened?"

"Go 'way!" he hiccups. "Daddy!" he howls, hiding even more in the shade of the desk.

"I don't want to hurt you," she tells him quietly, crouching on the floor at a safe distance. David only crawls away from her, wrapping himself up in a ball.

Meredith can only see the boy's eyes, filled with tears, peeking from his knees as he tries to hide and rocks back and forth, his sobs echoing in the room.

"Daddy," he hiccups. "I wan' Daddy," he sniffs, tears streaming down his face.

"He's coming," she tells him quietly, fidgeting with her pager to page Shepherd. She hopes he's done with his surgery by now, because she's at a loss. "Daddy is coming."

"Daddy," he cries out, his voice muffled by the fabric of the jeans he's crying into.

"He'll be here in no time," she says, knowing her voice is shaking, and yet trying to manage to act normal around him, so that he doesn't feel too self-conscious.

David's sobs relent the more they sit under the desk, but the tears keep coming eagerly, and Meredith has no idea what to do aside from monitoring him and letting him exhaust himself.

She glances at her watch, noticing that fifteen minutes have passed from her page. It's already dark out, being a little after nine in the evening, but she doesn't have the courage to move and switch on the light. The glimmer coming from the small window will have to suffice.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, and David hiccups. "I'm so sorry, David."

David sniffs loudly, passing the back of his hand under his nose and wiping away his snot.

The door slams open and Derek Shepherd bursts in, switching on the light and freezing at the threshold.

"What happened?" he asks, his voice trying to mask his panic, unsuccessfully.

"Daddy!" David exclaims, his eyes widening, though he seems frozen under the desk.

Meredith looks up to meet his eyes, unable to keep her voice from shaking. "I grabbed him. He was about to fall from the chair and I grabbed him and…"

Derek nods, worming his way under the desk, as Meredith crawls away. The space is way too narrow in the darkness for a grown man, but Shepherd manages to fit there. He sits in silence for a moment, staring straight ahead, his body a breath away from David's.

"I'm going to make a burrito out of you, okay?" he murmurs, turning to look into David's eyes. The little boy nods eagerly.

Derek's arms envelop the boy's frame completely. David crawls into his lap and rests there, holding tightly onto his father, as he squishes him just as tightly. Meredith can see the tension leak out of David, his sobs disappearing after a few minutes into deep but even breaths. She's not sure how can Derek keep from crushing his son into that firm hold, but it seems like they have found the perfect balance.

"Burrito," David murmurs, sounding out of it already, his voice muffled by the fabric of Derek's scrubs.

"The tightest burrito," Derek murmurs into his hair, David's fingers digging into his skin, probably leaving marks. Yet, Derek doesn't care.

Meredith watches father and son embrace for what feels like forever, something in her heart breaking and healing at the same time, even though it awakens the same dull ache all over again.

Slowly, Derek's hold loosens, David's body looking completely limp by the time Derek starts to rub the boy's back in circles. Their gazes lock when he takes a deep breath.

"God," he breathes out, his voice shaking.

"I'm sorry," she repeats, unsure what she should say in the first place, or if she should say anything at all.

"No, I am sorry. I should have been the one looking after him. Not a nurse, not you. He's my responsibility," he says, shaking his head, kissing the boy's head. From the deep breaths echoing from his chest she gathers that David exhausted himself to the point of sleep and her heart aches for the little boy.

"I had no idea what to do, but I don't mind looking after him."

"Dr. Grey, I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she sighs. "He's a wonderful boy."

"He is," Derek gulps, his eyes watery. "God, he is."

She feels for him, and she has no idea why she feels the immense urge to take away all his pain, to figure out a way to put the wonderful smile he has on his face and on David's.

"I'm failing him," he murmurs, his voice catching, sounding hopeless. "I screwed it all up."

"What? Why?"

"I can't be a surgeon and a dad. I can't do it all alone. I'm a failure."

"You're not alone. You have people. David has people."

"He needs me. It took me fifteen minutes for me to answer your urgent page. About him. I responded to a 911 in two minutes flat today, and I was on the other side of the hospital."

"I was with him, he was safe."

"It doesn't matter."

"Tell me what to do," she orders in her attending voice. "I might happen another time, tell me what should I do when it does."

Derek lifts his eyes from David's shoulder, his body motionless for a long second. "Why?"

"Because I like your kid and he likes me. You need people. People who don't eat licorice and smell funny, especially."

"Is that why he escaped?" Derek grins, kissing David's temple when she nods.

"He's a wonderful, funny boy."

"He is," Derek murmurs.

"So tell me, how do I make a burrito?"

Derek sighs. "You're pretty tiny, Dr. Grey."

"So?" She cocks her eyebrow, trying to look stern. He relents, his whole body giving in.

"You have to ask him first. Tell him what you are going to do, then apply firm pressure."

"Anywhere specific?"

"He likes pressure on his midsection, and sometimes he loves when I cup his whole head with my hand, though it's getting harder and harder to do so."

Meredith nods, filing away every information. "Does he usually curl up like that when unwanted touching happens?"

"Usually," Derek nods. "Just pull him into your lap and squish him. My mother says that he likes to press his ear over her heart when he's particularly upset. Since, you know, you have…" he gulps, motioning with his hand to where David's head is resting.

"Breasts?" she says, trying not to smirk.

"Yeah," he nods, clearing his throat. "He likes breasts." There's a second when Derek turns beet red, then he clarifies: "That came out wrong."

"It did," she giggles, finally feeling herself relax. Derek's body relaxes too as he manages to laugh with her.

"Thank you," he says then, his tone sincere. "I know it ended in an almost disaster, but you handled it pretty well. And I'm gladly crawling under desks a dozen times instead of cleaning up the blood from a broken nose."

"I just...I acted before thinking."

"That was good instincts. He would have done the same to me, I promise you."

Meredith nods, watching Derek cradle the little boy with gentleness, relishing their closeness. She can almost see the ache he has to hold his son sometimes, and he looks completely at peace now. Both of them look at peace.

"You're doing a great job with him," she admits sincerely, and she sees a flicker of pride appear in his eyes.

"I try. I fuck up pretty much every time I try something new."

"You're doing your best."

"I can't imagine my life without him. I don't want to."

"It's pretty lonely," she hums, shaking her head to dismiss her thoughts. He doesn't need to hear her sob stories, ever. He has enough sob stories on his own, and he luckily doesn't hear her.

"God, I hope he didn't have licorice for dinner," he chuckles, shaking his head at his questionable choice for a babysitter.

"Is a salmon bagel okay?"

"A what?" he grins. "He ate that?"

"He sat next to me while I was eating mine, offered him a bite. He looked enthusiastic, so I bought him one. He scarfed it down, then we split another one."

"Wow," Derek chuckles. "He never ceases to surprise me."

"I think he's the only five year old I know who enjoys salmon that much. I don't know many five year olds, though."

Derek chuckles again. "He loves fish, but we never really tried salmon. I hope it's not a fluke and he likes it only with bagels."

"Wouldn't be the worst, eh," she grins.

"At this point I give him anything he asks for if it means I don't have to fight him for every bite," he shakes his head.

"You are a good dad," she tells him sincerely, and he sighs.

"I hope I can be enough," he admits.

"You can," she nods sincerely. "You are enough for him."

Derek seems to believe her blindly.

Nothing is awkward anymore as they sit under her desk, talking about David as the boy sleeps in his father's arms, the hospital a low soundtrack to their easy conversation, the world disappearing bit by bit the more they delve into their lives.

Meredith has never felt this comfortable in the presence of a man before, and she has no clue what to think of it. For the time being, she'll just ignore whatever the hell her brain tells her and she'll go with it. The worst that can happen is that she's going to be disappointed yet again. Her skin is thicker than that, she'll be okay.

* * *

 **A/N: Looks like Meredith and the Shepherd boys are getting closer...What will happen next? Stay tuned to find out!  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I'm back! David is back! And a peculiar POV for your enjoyment. I hope you'll like it!  
**

* * *

 **Chapter 12**

* * *

David Langston Shepherd is an exhausting little boy.

As much as Carolyn loves him, sometimes she wonders how her son can cope having him around and juggling his internship as well. Now that David is a little more settled in school, it's easier to relax in the mornings and actually take care of her own stuff, but whenever he's with her for a full day, he drains all her energy.

She did not look forward to knowing that Derek would have to take his forty-eight-hour shift on a weekend. Keeping David entertained for two full days is probably one of the biggest challenges she ever had to face as a grandmother. She's only glad it's already Sunday.

And yet, no matter what, she always has a blast with him.

David is an old soul. He's loud and talkative and can come off as bratty sometimes, but he has a huge heart. He loves wholly, without reservations, and if you're in his graces, you will forever feel that love, even if he doesn't willingly touch you or he grimaces at the way you prepare your food. Everything that makes him David, she hates and loves all the same.

"Nana, is Daddy back, yet?" he asks for the umpteenth time, appearing in the kitchen while she's checking the pantry and the fridge for groceries, to make a list for a shopping run the next morning.

"No, not yet. I told you he'll be back tonight. You can spend all day with him tomorrow."

"But I gotta go to school," he protests, slumping in a chair.

"He'll have all the time for your after. He'll go with you to see Benny, you will play together, and then you'll have all kinds of fun."

David doesn't look fully convinced.

"Are you ready for church?" she asks, hoping that changing the subject might help.

David stands up and twirls a little, so that she can see he has decent clothes on. Usually, Carolyn doesn't take him to Mass, knowing that it can become uncomfortable for him, but she has no other choice today. If it's not a horrible day for him, he usually manages church just fine, so Carolyn is keeping her fingers crossed that today will be a good day.

She takes a deep breath and smiles, then decides that they have to eat out today, since they barely have the bare necessities to scrape by a meal. A grocery run after church might be asking too much out of David. That, and maybe they can stop by the hospital and have lunch with Derek, for David's sake. If they survive church unscathed, she will consider bringing her son takeout; she's sure Derek will appreciate it.

* * *

David sails through church just fine. He fidgets and looks curiously at all the pamphlets and papers on the pews, but he also sings along to some hymns he has now learned and looks glad to be there.

There's nothing Carolyn could want more.

They walk home talking about mundane topics, David looking happy to be walking in the sun on this fall day.

When she announces that they're going to grab food for his dad and eat all together, David squeals with joy and practically runs home, barreling into the garage right away.

David keeps bouncing in the car too, grinning and smiling and being his usual energetic self, though this time it brings a smile to Carolyn's face.

They stop at an Italian place and grab a couple of containers of pasta, vegetables and seconds, then they also pick up some tiramisù to make it a proper Sunday meal. All in all, they could feed a small army, as usual, but Carolyn is thinking ahead: she knows that if Mark is there and not in surgery, he and Addison will definitely join them for lunch, and so will whoever was supposed to eat with them. Carolyn knows to come prepared. Better having leftovers to heat up rather than not having enough food for all of them.

Carolyn has Derek paged when she notices that his name is not on the OR board, though she sighs when she notices that Mark has just scrubbed in and he'll be in surgery for at least three hours. She'll have to catch her other son another time.

When she finally sees Derek coming to the nurses' station, she can spot his tiredness from a mile away. And yet, his smile is bright, and so is the grin Dr. Meredith Grey next to him is sporting, as they walk side by side. He's carrying a stack of charts, she has her own, but they seem really comfortable around one another.

"Are you kidding me? You can't give porn as pain management," Derek grins as they come near them, and he makes Meredith giggle.

"I didn't think of it, but I'm almost jealous of the neurologist who did," she snickers, leaving the chart on the desk, Derek mimicking her.

"Why? So you could watch _Nasty Naughty Nurses 4_ with Mr. Traylor?"

Meredith blushes, but before she can reply, David spots his father, and of course he runs straight for him, slamming into his body. Derek groans, but he laughs when he recognizes his little boy.

"How are you, D-Man?"

"Oh, Daddy, I was super good in church for Nana and we got no food at home, so we gots food for all of us here!" David giggles, as Derek holds him tightly, picking him up and wrapping his legs around his torso.

"That sounds quite the day," Derek hums. "Probably more exciting than mine," he winks.

"He saw a brain, Dave," Meredith next to him whispers, and David finally becomes aware of Meredith too, and grins at her, though he also blushes when she smiles back.

"Daddy, you see lots of brains," David comments, a frown on his forehead.

"I guess Dr. Grey enjoys having me as her intern."

Carolyn's eyes widen at the obvious attempt at flirting, that of course passes right over David's head, and yet makes Dr. Grey blush like a schoolgirl and turn to look at the wall.

"Meredith?" David asks quietly, wriggling out of Derek's embrace to stand on his feet, before he lifts up his eyes and meets her gaze. She smiles in encouragement. "Do you want to have lunch with me and my Daddy and my Nana?"

"We have plenty." Carolyn lifts up the takeout bag, deciding to make her presence known.

"Oh, hi, Mrs. Shepherd!" Dr. Grey splutters nervously. "I don't know if I should...I mean, you're paying, and I don't want you to pay, I can pay my own and…"

"If I know my son, there's carbonara in those bags," Derek smirks.

The doctor blinks, her eyes twinkling. "Carbonara?" she asks in a whisper, almost lusting after it. Apparently, David is not the only one who goes crazy for that dish.

"Oh, it's the best, right, Meri?" David interjects.

"It's my favorite," she sighs, smiling at David and sharing a look with Derek that makes both their gazes twinkle. "I guess I have to come now. You drive a hard bargain, kid," she grins, shaking her head in amusement.

Carolyn is pretty sure David is not the only one who convinced her to cave.

* * *

Meredith Grey has offered up her office as soon as she heard the noisy clatter of the cafeteria and David growing more and more uncomfortable each step they took towards it.

Carolyn is inclined to think of her as either a very good doctor, or someone with a special connection to David. Nobody is ever aware of his needs as much as Derek is, not even herself. She sometimes manages to anticipate what might trigger him, but not all the time, and yet, Dr. Grey gets her grandson. She is always one step ahead.

They are sitting cozily near her desk, David on a folding chair next to Meredith on the operative side of the desk, while they sit in the smaller armchairs in front of her, the ones for the patients.

Of course David is talking Meredith's ear off, and yet, she never seems bothered by that.

Take that back, Meredith Grey is a saint.

She remembers Meredith Grey as a little girl, not a lot older than David is right now, hanging around the hospital while her mother worked all day. She carried around a doll in a gown, and pretended to do surgery. Now she's the one holding a scalpel. Carolyn is definitely fascinated.

David sighs happily when he has scarfed down his plate, Meredith giggling next to him as she twirls one of her last forkfuls of spaghetti in her paper plate.

"They are super good," he tells her, and she doesn't even pretend not to agree with him.

"Where did you get them?" Meredith then turns towards her, a polite smile on her lips.

"Roberto's. Not as good as homemade, but the closest as it gets."

"Never tried the homemade kind," Meredith sighs, and Carolyn's eyes widen before she can school her expression. She has to fix that at some point, especially since both Shepherd boys seem so fascinated by the young woman. This will not be the last she sees of Meredith Grey, she can bet on it.

"Even Derek loves the homemade kind," Carolyn jabs, watching as her son's cheeks turn pink. So do Meredith's, though. "He's a bit of a health nut, but we're trying to bring him to the dark side, right Davy?"

"Daddy eats muesli," David grimaces and both women laugh at the expression on his face.

"Look, I enjoy good cooking. I used to work in a restaurant, I became a bit picky."

"Really?A restaurant?" Meredith blurts, her turn to feel the embarrassment. "I mean, I'm not offending you or anything, I just find it surprising that when surgeons' hours were tough you could manage a restaurant…"

"I worked as a sous chef without having the usual qualifications to do so. I had my hours, it was predictable, unlike what being a surgeon is like."

"Oh, yeah, definitely not predictable, not even as an attending."

"I have always enjoyed cooking, so I jumped at the opportunity as soon as it presented."

"Were you any good?" she grins, finishing her pasta, while Carolyn watches the exchange with fascination.

"I could cook for you if you want, sometimes," he says, then he clears his throat and both of them avoid their gazes. Carolyn wants to laugh at how obvious is their attraction to one another, and how much they are fighting it. She remembers that feeling pretty well, and she wants to be there when they will give in.

The conversation stalls for a moment while they start with the seconds and try to let the flirty conversation blow over. Even David falls quiet, and his expression grows somber.

"David, are you enjoying your carrots?" Meredith asks, a slight concern appearing on her face. Again, Carolyn is surprised by how in tune she is with the little boy's emotions.

"Yes," he whispers, sighing loudly. "Meredith, I'm sorry," he blurts out next, his eyes fixed on his plate as he pushes around the food with his fork.

"Why are you sorry?" she asks, a soft smile on her lips as she drops her fork and gives him her undivided attention.

"'Cause I was bad last time," he whispers. "I cried lots and went under your desk…"

"David, it's okay, I'm not mad," Meredith replies, her eyes softening as she puts her face in line with David's, forcing the boy to look at her. "I know you didn't mean to do that, you just got scared."

"I did," he whispers.

"Grown-ups get scared too, sometimes, I know what it's like," she says, smiling sadly at the boy. Carolyn is curious to see where this conversation is going, and Derek is looking at them with his undivided attention.

"Do you hide too?" David probes.

"I do," she giggles. "I hide a lot."

"Under your desk?" David's eyes widen, and Meredith laughs then.

"I can't fit well down there, but I wish I could."

"And how do you feel safe?" David asks, frowning. There's a flicker in Meredith's gaze that tells Carolyn that she has no idea how to reply, and she breaks her heart. Everybody deserves to feel safe.

"I operate and save my patients, so I feel in control. Do you know what works for you?" she asks, her voice gaining back the confidence her gaze has lost.

"Burrito."

Her smile is gentle again, and Carolyn wonders if she's a mother herself, because this is a smile that only mothers are capable of.

"I know your Daddy makes you into the best burrito, but I can try it if you want. In case he's not there the next time you don't feel safe," she says, looking nervous.

David studies her for a moment before his frown relaxes and he murmurs: "Okay."

Carolyn watches intently how David crawls closer to Meredith, then how she plops the little boy onto her lap and wraps her bony arms around him. It takes a minute for David to relax, but when he does, the both of them are clinging tightly to one another.

Meredith has tears in her eyes while she squishes David against her, and when Carolyn glances at Derek, his eyes are misty too.

"You make a good burrito," David says, pulling away, even though he keeps sitting on her lap, his hands resting on her shoulders.

"Good," she smiles, tentatively reaching out to kiss his forehead. "You tell me when it stops feeling safe, alright?"

"This is safe too," he murmurs, David's eyes closing when her lips press on his forehead. He doesn't even flinch. He has accepted her in earnest, and Carolyn wants to know the story behind this, she needs to know more about this woman that can make both her favorite boys happy and relaxed.

David flops against Meredith's shoulder again, looking tired all of a sudden, and Meredith doesn't wait a second before squeezing him into a firm one-handed hug again. She keeps eating as if it were nothing, her hand rubbing David's back in circles as their breathing syncs. She also tries to keep up some kind of normal conversation, though Derek looks a bit dazed as he stares at Meredith and his son in that position.

The beeping of a pager startles David, already on his way to dreamland, and Meredith snuggles him closer, as Derek curses under his breath.

"It's mine," Derek announces. "I have to go grab some labs."

"Can you please check on Mr. Traylor for me too?" Meredith asks, not at all sounding like an attending. Carolyn guesses that hugging a little boy messes with toughness and mean streaks.

"No problem."

"You can scrub in if I have to go back in."

"Thank you, Dr. Grey," he gulps, standing up and awkwardly gathering his leftover containers. "Thanks Ma for bringing lunch around, I needed it," he smiles, softly squeezing her shoulder before he piles his containers in the corner of the desk.

"Daddy, you'll be home tonight?" David murmurs, his hand clenched around Meredith's scrub top when he looks up at him.

"I will. I will come and hug you as soon as I walk into the door, okay?"

David nods, sighing loudly. "Bye, Daddy."

"Bye, D-Man, I love you so much," he murmurs, going around the desk to mess his hair. David giggles, while both Derek and Meredith gulp in big breaths. Derek leans down to kiss the top of David's head, lingering for a second, almost as if he's ready to kiss Meredith on the lips too.

Carolyn is enjoying this a lot more than her own lunchtime shows on TV. She should come here with food more often.

"I'll see you both later," Derek blurts, moving quickly towards the door. "Later, Dr. Grey," he says last, before he disappears out of the office.

Meredith clears her throat and Carolyn smiles, trying to dissipate the awkwardness.

"Thank you for the food indeed, you didn't have to invite me or…" the woman blurts, widening Carolyn's smile.

"A friend of David's is a friend of mine," Carolyn says simply, watching as David's smile brightens, even if he still looks sleepy.

"You're my friend," David murmurs, tightening his hold on her scrub top.

"I am. I love being your friend," she murmurs to him.

"It's pretty fun," he replies, followed by a wide yawn.

Meredith giggles. "Rest, Davy, I'm not going anywhere."

"Wait!" he blurts, looking panicked for a second. "Can you come to my birthday?"

"Your birthday?" she smiles, trying to let him relax again.

"It's my birthday in four sleeps, my Daddy is throwing me a party. I can invite all my friends, and you're my friend."

"Oh!" she exclaims, her eyes wide. "David, I work a lot but…"

"Please?"

Carolyn knows how convincing the Shepherd eyes are, and she clearly sees the surgeon cave.

"I'll see what I can do, okay?"

"Okay," he echoes, yawning again, looking a lot more relaxed.

"Relax," Meredith hums, coaxing him back onto her shoulder.

Her back rubs become slower and she applies more pressure, and David closes his eyes right away. It doesn't take long for his breathing to deepen, and for his body to grow slack. Meredith takes a deep, shaky breath when she's sure he's asleep.

"You can use my couch for as long as you need, Mrs. Shepherd."

"It's Carolyn, dear," she smiles, noticing that she still can't let go of the small boy in her arms. "You don't need to come to the party."

"He would love that," Meredith sighs. "I'll clear it up with Derek first, though," she nods.

"Sure," Carolyn grins, noticing how her eyes soften even at the mere mention of Derek's name. This is something she'll have to investigate later, though, there are more pressing matters at the moment. "You are so good with David, do you have kids?" she asks, hoping not to have crossed a line.

Something flickers in her eyes and they dull, her body stiffening as well. "No, no kids," she whispers, even though it makes Carolyn want to dig even deeper into the mysterious woman holding her grandson.

Before she can ask more questions, there's a knock on the door and an older woman walks in. She's just as small and petite as Meredith, wearing the same shade of scrubs, her hair resembling Meredith's, only shorter. She looks confused when she notices the scene in the office.

"Is this social hour?" the woman asks, and Meredith's eyes flash with hurt. Carolyn looks more closely at the woman, now finding her features familiar. Even the voice sounds familiar.

"David was my patient. He came to share lunch with me."

"In your lap, apparently," the woman mutters under her breath. "Meredith – " she starts, speaking a little louder, but Meredith interrupts her right away.

"Mom, I know. Leave me alone to deal with this."

Mom? Carolyn's eyes widen when her suspicions are confirmed. This definitely looks like an older Ellis Grey. She remembers Ellis Grey, and she has to admit, the woman aged well. It seems like she's still as cold as ever with her subordinates, though.

These two women might look a lot alike on the surface, but she knows they're profoundly different deep down. She definitely wants to know more about their lives.

"Fine," Dr. Grey sighs, still eyeing the little boy with a frown, even though her eyes soften for a millisecond. "An old friend of mine called, he was diagnosed with an optic nerve benign tumor, do you think you can fit him in your schedule?"

"Is he coming here or he sent the scans?"

"He sent the scans," Dr. Grey replies, handing out a folder.

Meredith studies the papers, then the scans under a light for a minute, juggling David's weight in the process. The little boy doesn't stir.

"I'll take a closer look, but it doesn't look like it's a big deal. The major problem is the position of his tumor. Is he prepared for vision loss, at least in that eye?"

"He is, even though I'm sending him to you avoid that," Dr. Grey says, making Meredith roll her eyes.

"I'll let you know tonight if he should come here or not, but so far it seems okay with me."

"He will be a VIP patient, Meredith."

"I know. Only the best team."

Dr. Grey nods eagerly, stealing one more glance at Meredith and David together, before she relaxes her shoulders. "Richard said you should come by and eat dinner with us one of these nights."

Meredith sighs. "I'll check my schedule and let you know."

"Great," Dr. Grey smiles, and now the resemblance with Meredith is uncanny. "I'll see you around."

"Have a good day, Mom," Meredith sighs, as Dr. Grey closes the door behind her back. "That was the Chief of Surgery and my mother, by the way. Ellis Grey. I'm sure you remember her."

"I do. I'm sorry, we're the ones intruding on your work day," Carolyn smiles.

"It's not a problem," she says, even though her pager shrieks a second later. Carolyn has to giggle at that. "I have to go, but you guys can stay until he wakes up," Meredith says, slowly standing up and carrying the boy over to the couch.

She lays David down, then covers him with a fleece throw, tucking him in. The polka dot pattern resembles a lot the one David has at home for his baby blanket, and Carolyn has even more questions about Meredith Grey. This is a baby blanket, there's not doubt about it. Some things don't add up.

"It was nice seeing you again, Mrs. Shepherd," she says, straightening up her back, then giving one last lingering look at David. "Stay as long as you need," she repeats, then gives her a hurried smile and leaves.

Meredith Grey surely is mysterious, and Carolyn is looking forward to getting to know her better. She's sure she's practically part of the family now, especially considering how taken David is with her. She won't be able to escape the Shepherds all that easily.

* * *

 **A/N: So, we have a couple of pending invites and Meredith and David becoming closer and closer. Just like Meredith and Derek :P  
**

 **What do you guys think? What is Meredith's secret that I've kept so jealously?**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Sorry for the long delay guys but life becomes overwhelming in the summer, even before I had to figure out how to pack a year of stuff in a plane-approved suitcase. No matter where I end up, though, I promise to finish this, just like I finished Hope. It took me forever and a day, but I did, so just keep the faith. I hate leaving anything unfinished, remember that.  
**

* * *

 **Chapter 13**

* * *

Never in a million years Meredith figured she'd step foot in Toys R Us, and yet, she's lost in aisle six, looking for the perfect present for David Shepherd.

She should have declined. The Shepherd eyes will be the death of her.

And David's aren't even the eyes that worry her the most. When Derek looks at her, she turns into a pile of goo, and that is so not professional.

She's trying to keep her emotions in check around him, but Derek has a power over her. Meredith is spellbound whenever he walks into a room, and she hates that feeling.

Nobody ever made her feel like that, and she's scared to death to figure out what it means. Why she can't stop thinking about his hands on her hips or his tongue in her mouth. Why he makes her so nervous and yet gives her immense clarity when they are together. Why he fills her thoughts at the most inappropriate of times.

She takes a deep breath and decides that she should push aside her feelings for Derek now, and think about his son's present.

What in the world does a five-year-old boy likes?

She was sneaky and asked a couple of her younger patients what she could buy, but nothing they suggested seemed appealing. She knows David is a special boy, and he needs a special gift.

She's a terrible gift-giver. How could she be good at it when she has virtually nobody to give gifts to? Her parents are easy to please, her sister Maggie is even easier, but a little boy? She's out of her element.

The aisles are filled with all kinds of incredible gifts and she groans at the thought that she's spending her only morning off in the week to buy a stupid gift. Maybe she should just buy David food and a juice box and pretend she has no idea presents are customary. It's not like she has celebrated many regular birthdays, both her parents are busy surgeons.

They tried – of course they did – but the fact that her birthday is so close to Thanksgiving doesn't help. The hospital had to come first, and if they had to pick between taking her birthday off or Maggie's, she was the one left stranded. She loves Maggie, but she knows their mother loves Maggie a little more. Richard is also wonderful, but at the end of the day, she's not his daughter. It gets lonely at times, but she has learned how to cope. She has always felt like the odd one sticking out in their family.

Her eyes widen when she sees a special aisle of the store dedicated to educational and sensory toys, and she knows she'll find her perfect gift right there.

She walks out of aisle seventeen with a box in her hands and a smile on her face. A smile that slowly disappears when she walks by the baby aisle, and her heart clenches.

David definitely brings back memories.

She was a lot younger last time she had gone through the aisles of a toy store, looking for gifts for a baby boy. She had walked out with a teddy bear, that time.

A woman chasing after a little girl distracts her from her trip down memory lane and she sighs, blinking back the moisture in her eyes, as she makes her way towards checkout.

She has a party to get to.

* * *

David is bouncing off the walls by the time she gets to Derek's house.

The two-storey home is decorated everywhere, starting from the front yard and the porch. Balloons and streamers lead the way for all the guests, and by the time she knocks on the door and Derek opens, she realizes that it's chaos inside.

She can't exactly count them, but there are about twelve kids running around the living room and the foyer, a few adults mingling in the kitchen and what looks like the den.

"Hi!" Derek greets her, his hair a little wilder than usual, but his eyes are sparkling blue. He's dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, and he's gorgeous. She hopes she's not drooling by the time she smiles back and says hi.

"Where's David?"

"Who knows?" Derek chuckles. "He's burning a lot of energy today."

As if he heard his name being mentioned, David breezes by the foyer, chasing two other little boys, one of them looking slightly younger than the rest.

"Meredith!" he exclaims when he sees her, and her heart soars at the smile he gives her.

"Hey, David, happy birthday! I have a gift for you," she smiles, holding out the bag with the wrapped box inside.

"Oh, thank you!" he grins. "I gotta play now, put it on the table! Daddy, show her," he says, running back to his little friends.

She cackles; he's definitely a hoot.

"Sorry about that, I swear I taught him manners at some point," Derek says, leading her inside after grabbing the gift bag from her hands. "Do you want something to eat?"

"Please. I came for the snacks," she winks, and she manages to make Derek look flustered. The man can look like a sex god, but she definitely has a few aces up her sleeve. Oh, how she loves payback.

In the kitchen, Carolyn is fussing around a tray of finger food that looks homemade, and one of the interns, Yang, is scarfing down everything that passes under her nose.

"Dr. Grey," she greets, a surprised look on her face.

"Yang," she nods, grabbing a tiny sandwich.

They continue ignoring each other as Derek sends them a strange look. She shrugs, grabbing a hors d'oeuvre, putting a smile on his face.

Carolyn and Yang walk out together, Yang following the older woman with a quiche, leaving only Meredith and Derek in the kitchen.

"Look, if the gift is terrible, I'm sorry," she blurts, grabbing a glass of juice to hide her embarrassment.

Derek chuckles. "I'm sure you did fine. He's not a tough boy to please."

"I mean, I avoided stuff that makes loud noises and has weird textures, but I just...give it to charity or something if it sucks."

"Charity, really? Is it that bad of a gift?" he grins, sipping whatever he has in his glass.

"It's called kinetic sand," she blurts. "And crap, I know it was supposed to be a surprise but…"

"I'm not the birthday boy," he shrugs. "And kinetic sand, you said?"

"Yes. The box says it looks and feels like real sand, only without the mess."

"I know what it's like, David uses it in occupational therapy. He loves it. It's a great gift."

"It is?" her eyes widen, and she's genuinely surprised she had gotten it right.

"I've been meaning to get it for him, but I always forget. He's going to play with it for hours," he smiles, a faraway look in his eyes.

"Oh wow," she giggles, blushing. "I never thought I'd get it right."

Derek laughs. "You aren't an expert on kids, are you?"

"Not really. My patients don't count, right?"

Derek shakes his head, offering another small tray with some pigs in a blanket. She grabs one, grinning back, as he steals another one.

"Wanna come mingle? There are other adults," he smirks, angling his body so that he can lead her to the living room. She follows him without second a thought.

The party is in full swing, and the organized chaos is almost pleasant. The kids are being kids, and the adults are pretending to like each other, even though Meredith can see it in their faces that they would love to be anywhere but here. Part of her is enjoying the chaos though, the part of her that wonders, late at night, what it would have been like. The sane, surgeon part of her wants to leave and never come back.

For once though, her insanity has to prevail if she wants to get to the cutting of the cake without throwing a fit. So she chats up with Carolyn and she smiles whenever someone new introduces himself to her. She uses a paper plate as a diversive, so that whenever it's empty and the conversation becomes boring, she excuses herself and refills it. The snacks seem never-ending.

Every once in awhile, her eyes fall on Derek, on his easy demeanor, on how perfect he looks as a father, surrounded with a dozen kids. She giggles when they start playing some kind of game all together, and she watches how David seems to blossom slowly, the more he relaxes around his tiny friends.

After the game has ended, Derek comes to stand next to her, looking slightly sweaty and breathless as he drinks some water, though his smile is contagious. He does look really sexy all sweaty and breathless, though. Thank God the million people in the room keep her from jumping him.

"Your kid really knows how to throw a party, eh," she grins, nodding towards David, surrounded by all his friends now, as they play on the floor with a small pile of matchbox cars.

"Probably takes after his mother. I'm no party animal," he shrugs, and takes a deep breath.

"Where…" she starts, though she stops herself, knowing it's rude to ask such personal questions when they're barely friends.

"We met after medical school. I remember there was a party after graduation and Mark dragged me there instead of letting me collapse at home. There was a lot of scotch involved, and I remember she was a vodka girl. Terry. Short for Teresa, but I never really knew it until I had to look through the legal papers."

"So you never saw her again?"

"No. She found my address, dropped off David on my doorstep, legal papers where she gave up all her rights, and she went in the wind. It took me two days to really calm him down. I get why she freaked, he wasn't the easiest newborn."

"I'm sorry," she murmurs, reaching out to put her hand on his forearm before she's aware of what she's doing.

Derek's eyes widen and she takes it away, only, Derek's other hand stops hers from moving, leaving it lingering.

He's so warm.

His thumb rubs slow, gentle circles over her skin, and she feels her own body relax immediately. She can't keep her eyes off him.

The moment is broken when Carolyn comes closer and asks Derek about cake and presents, though she can still feel her skin tingling where they have touched. She thought what happened in the elevator was a fluke, but she's starting to reconsider it. It still scares the crap out of her, that's for sure.

She barely registers what happens in the next few minutes as they set up the cake and light up the candles. She sings happy birthday and snaps out of her haze long enough for David to beg for a picture with her, but the confusion is still gripping her tightly by the time everybody has eaten their cake and all the presents have been opened.

Most of the kids are already leaving while David keeps exploring all his new presents eagerly, the living room and the den emptying as she stands in a corner, lost in thought.

"Kids are toxic. I'm not sure why I'm here in the first place, except for the free food," Yang grumbles, standing next to her.

Meredith gives her an amused look, though she's happy for the distraction.

"What? The guy worked in a restaurant, and his mother loves cooking too," Yang shrugs.

"David is fun to be around, though," Meredith says, winning another strange look from her.

"Why are you even here? You could be in surgery..."

"David invited me, and it's my day off. I was his doctor when he cracked his head open. He probably thinks I saved his life, considering how much he was bleeding," she laughs, her intern joining in.

"Of course Shepherd asked a neurosurgeon to stitch up a cut on a forehead," she rolls her eyes.

"Well, he was concerned, I get it."

"You have brats too?"

"How could I be where I am with a brat?" she admits, gulping whatever she has left in her glass, her heart clenching.

"Yeah, I'm never having kids," Yang nods seriously, as the conversation stalls after that.

Meredith finally jumps into action when she sees Carolyn starting to clean up the supplies, so she uses that as a distraction. She's in now way the best candidate for the job, but at least it keeps her from dragging up even more memories or engage in awkward conversations with one of her subordinates.

"You don't need to help," Derek admonishes as soon as she walks in the kitchen with a stack of unused plates and paper cups.

"You fed me, I can help clean up."

"Seriously, go do something with David, we're fine."

"Later," she nods, going back to the living room to retrieve more stuff.

Each time she goes back out there are fewer people at the party, up to the point when it's just her, Carolyn, David, and Derek. Maybe she has taken this a little too far.

David looks exhausted as he plays on the floor with the kinetic sand she gave him, simply passing it through his fingers, then molding it, before it all falls apart in tiny grains. Derek is sitting on the couch, looking just as exhausted, as he sips one last glass of water. Or maybe he has upgraded to wine, she's not sure. She would have upgraded by now.

"Come on, sit down," he murmurs. "Thank you for your help cleaning up."

"It was a pleasure," she sighs, welcoming the few moments of rest as she sits on the other end of the couch.

"Meredith, your gift is awesome!" David exclaims, tiredness dripping from his voice, even though his eyes are sparkling. He looks just about to drop, but yet he's still playing.

"I'm glad you like it, Davy," she says, smiling down at the boy now making a tower. "Did you have fun with your friends?"

"I did. It was the best party."

"It was indeed."

"Sorry I didn't play much with you, but grown-ups don't like many games."

"We'll have time to play together another time, David, don't worry."

"Oh, good," he sighs, almost relieved. "Can I be a burrito with you for a bit?"

"Of course," she smiles, opening her arms and allowing the boy to crawl up there.

She remembers Derek's advice and even turns to him for help, but he only smiles brightly as David settles his cheek over her breast and she cups his head. She feels his breathing evening out against her neck as he keeps playing with her wrist watch, his body growing slack against her.

By the time Derek has drained his glass, David is already asleep.

"Gotta love exhausting parties," he chuckles, leaving his cup on the coffee table. "Here, I can put him to bed."

They juggle the boy between them, their hands touching again and sending another shiver down her spine. It feels...intimate.

She should run, if it weren't for David's fingers still wrapped around her shirt. She should be fleeing the scene.

She stays put, instead.

After they manage to disentangle, Derek drapes David on his shoulder and moves upstairs quickly, leaving her on the couch.

Meredith takes a deep breath and puts back the sand in the box, smiling at how fun it does look indeed, then she picks up Derek's cup and moves back to the kitchen to throw it away.

"The food was incredible, Carolyn," she says as soon as she spots the older woman loading the dishwasher.

"Derek did most of the cooking. I swear sometimes I feel like I've learned nothing in my fifty odd years of cooking," she giggles. "Then again, when he cooks for people he loves, he's even better at it."

"Are you talking about me?" Derek grins, showing up in the kitchen too. "David is out for the count. We won't see him until tomorrow morning, most likely."

"I was telling your boss that you're a great chef."

"I'm not a chef, Ma," he smiles, looking embarrassed.

"Well, I burn toast, Shepherd, everybody is a chef for my standards," Meredith grins, and his eyes widen.

"They let you cut people open and you burn toast?" he feigns indignation, though he betrays his composure and starts chuckling right after she starts laughing.

Carolyn disappears again from the kitchen, probably checking one last time around the living room and the den, leaving Meredith and Derek laughing together in the kitchen.

"You know, brain surgery is not cooking," Meredith tries to save her cause, though Derek is still grinning and keeping himself from laughing again

"I know that," he chuckles, "brain surgery is supposed to be harder."

"Hey!" she retorts, but they're laughing again before she can say more.

Their bodies move closer as they laugh, until their hips are practically touching. The laughter dissipates.

Derek's hand slowly moves to touch her forearm, sending shivers down her spine. He's still smiling, though his eyes hold a gentleness in them that wasn't there before. He's not teasing her anymore.

He pulls her closer, and she rests her hands on his chest, needing his support as her legs feel shaky at the contact.

"I've tried all afternoon to ignore how beautiful you are today," he murmurs, lowering his face closer to hers.

"We shouldn't," she hums, though she strains her neck to get closer, and wraps her hands on his shoulders, holding onto him.

"I know," he hums, and she can practically feel his voice on her skin.

Her thought process blanks and she leans in, joining their lips.

The kiss is soft, not void of the passion of the elevator, but it is a completely different kiss at the same time. They take their time, tasting and nibbling, their hands holding tightly onto one another, their lips unable to part.

They don't care about oxygen, or who started the kiss in the first place, they simply keep kissing in the middle of Derek's kitchen, the rest of the world falling away.

"Derek," she murmurs, gulping in air, searching his eyes, but he eagerly draws her in for another kiss, stealing her breath away.

"Meredith," he hums when they pull away, this time for good.

They keep staring into each other's eyes, licking their lips, wondering what the hell happened in that kitchen, or why they seem unable to stay apart whenever they are alone.

Derek is about to duck down and kiss her again when Carolyn walks back in and forces them to spring apart. Meredith knows her cheeks are on fire. Luckily, even if she probably suspects something, Carolyn completely ignores them, giving Meredith time to gather her wits and find the proper use of her every limb again.

Meredith gives them a hasty goodbye, watching the panic mirrored in Derek's face, and then she bolts, hoping that the drive home can bring her some clarity. She's so not sure about that, though.

They crossed a line she's pretty positive they can't uncross, and now they both have to figure out how to go on from there. She just hopes she can avoid him for a bit longer.

* * *

 **A/N: And you were worried a pager would interrupt the party :P  
**

 **So, I'm not scheduling updates anymore, but while slowly, I know this story will be updated. Your kindness in reviews and your patience after every new update are what keeps me going, so thank you!**

 **Stay tuned for more!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: It looks like I might stop posting this, but it's an illusion. It takes me a while, but look at Hope; I'll get it done. And this one is nowhere to be done. So many puzzle pieces still need to slide into place! I hope you'll be there for the whole ride!  
**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 14**

* * *

Derek is grateful that part of David's birthday gift is a fishing expedition, so that he doesn't have to see Meredith Grey at all after their passionate kiss in his kitchen. She might be the one who ran, but he's avoiding her just as fiercely.

He and David have been blessed with a pleasantly warm summer day, and he plans on exploiting every single second of sunlight they can manage. David luckily looks pretty excited too as they walk up to the stream.

They are walking on David's favorite trail, the one that passes right through their land before leading to a small lake, hidden in the forest. It's not the best of fishing spots, but today is not about the fishes.

Derek relishes the sight of David's dark head of hair walking in front of him, exploring every tree and every plant on their way as he carries his own pole and tackle box. He's proud of him, even if it's just for being his son. He never imagined he could love someone this way, and everyday he feels like he loves David a little more.

"Oh, Daddy, a mushroom!" David exclaims, as he spots a cluster of bright yellow mushrooms peeking from the muddy earth under an oak tree.

"Those aren't edible, though. Be careful."

"They're pretty."

"They are," he agrees, watching as David crouches in front of the mushrooms and studies them.

When he seems satisfied with the exploration, David starts walking again, practically hopping towards the lake.

"Daddy, how come my mommy doesn't live with us?" David blurts out of the blue, and Derek stumbles on a tree root on the path.

"What?"

"All my friends in school have mommies, and some of their mommies don't live with them all the time, but they get to see them sometimes. How come mine never visits?"

Derek gulps, slowing his steps. "Your mommy and I...we were never really a couple like some parents are. We never married."

"Okay," he frowns, and Derek sighs.

He knows he's tackling all of this wrong, but how can he break the news to his five-year-old son that his mother never wanted him and he's the product of a drunken one-night-stand when he forgot a condom and he was lucky he got David and not an STD?

"Your mother had a lot of things she wanted to do in life. She wanted to be a nurse and help people. She wanted to go to Africa where a lot of sick kids are...she was a good woman."

"Is she dead?" David's eyes widen and he stops walking.

"No, she's not. But I haven't seen her in a long time."

"Oh, good, dead is bad." David sighs in relief, though he's still frowning. "How come she never comes back to see me?"

"Because between all of her dreams, being a mommy wasn't one of them. But she knew I wanted to be a daddy, I wanted it more than anything, so she grew you in her belly, made you grow strong and healthy inside of her, and then gave you to me, because she didn't know how to protect you and nurture you anymore."

"What's nurrur?" he frowns.

"Nurture," Derek repeats. "It's like...taking care. Helping you grow into the best man you can be. Teaching you how to be brave and kind and funny, and all the good qualities you have."

"She didn't know how to do that?"

"She didn't."

"But you did?"

Derek chuckles. "I had a lot to learn, because I never nurtured you before. I took care of your cousins when they were babies sometimes, but I never raised a son before you. It was hard. And for your mommy it was even harder, so she decided not to do it anymore."

"But Benny says that I have to keep going even if it's hard, 'cause I'll learn how to do it."

Derek smiles sadly. "Benny is right, but your mom tried a lot, yet she felt like she couldn't learn. It was way too hard for her. It's like...do you know how you feel when a stranger hugs you? She felt that way all day, every day, until you came to live with me."

David gasps. "I made my mommy feel that?" he exclaims, his eyes filling with unshed tears.

"David, no," he stops his mind firmly before it goes into overdrive. "It wasn't you. Even if you were another little boy or another little girl she would have felt the same way. Babies made her feel that way," he tries to explain, even though he can already hear the buzzer in his head telling him this is the wrong answer.

 _Eeeeeeek. Abort mission. Abort mission. Eeeeeek_.

David stares at him for a long minute, frowning and looking concerned. "It's not my fault my mommy left, then?"

"It's not," Derek sighs, wanting, more than anything, to pull him in his arms and reassure him. He has no idea how he'll react, though.

"Is it yours, then? 'Cause some mommies aren't there because they fight with daddies lots."

"No, not that either." He sighs, it will be impossible to explain.

David keeps walking in silence, and Derek has no idea what to do or say anymore. He selfishly hopes David has no more questions.

"How was my mommy? Pretty? Nice?"

"She was both. I liked her right away," he gives him a soft smile, because he can answer this. Sort of. "She liked to dream big just like you do, David."

"Did she have a pretty laugh?"

"A pretty laugh?" he smiles, though he's puzzled by the question.

"Meredith has a pretty laugh. Was it pretty like Meredith's?"

Derek shakes his head. His son is indeed infatuated with the girl he likes too. "No. Nobody has a laugh as pretty as Meredith's. It's a close second, though," he winks, not even remembering Terry's laugh in all honesty, but feeling like a white lie won't hurt anybody at this point.

"Meredith's real pretty," David nods seriously, jumping over a root.

"She is," he sighs, as memories of her soft lips on his stir up a plethora of feelings in him.

"I should give her a present to tell her she's pretty."

"What? Why?" he chuckles, his son always surprising him. "Did Uncle Mark tell you that? Because Uncle Mark is not trustworthy when it comes to girls' problems."

"No. But girls like presents, Daddy."

"How do you know that?"

"I saw it in the movies I watch with Nana sometimes. They all like flowers and boxes of chocolate and rings! You should give Meredith a ring!"

Derek tries not to choke on his saliva as he suppresses a laugh. "David, when you give a girl a ring, it means you want to marry her. Spend the rest of your life with her. Forever."

"Oh, wow, that's pretty long. I shouldn't give Meredith a ring. She should keep being my friend only," he nods seriously, and this time Derek chuckles out loud, he can't help himself.

"You need to be kind and give a girl flowers or chocolate when you want her to like you. But Meredith...she's already all grown-up, David. I think you should save the flowers for someone else."

"Can I give flowers more than once?"

"Of course," he smiles, loving the direction this conversation has taken, even if it makes him think about Meredith. Male bonding was the reason why they are out here in the first place, and he loves being the one to teach his son about courtship.

"And the girls like it?" David looks perplexed.

"Not all girls. Other girls like other kinds of gifts. For example, if a girl likes pies, you can make her a pie. Or if she likes pictures, you could make her one. It all depends on the girl."

David seems to think long and hard about it, while they keep walking, the lake already glimmering in silence.

"This stuff is hard."

"I know, Nugget."

More silence.

"Is this why it's just you and me, Daddy?"

Derek laughs out loud at David's remark, wondering if his son already knows how lame he is at picking up women. He hopes he'll never tell anything about this conversation to Mark, or his brother will have a field day with this.

* * *

Meredith knocks at the wooden door, taking a deep breath. A smile appears automatically on her face when Richard shows up in front of her, in fuzzy slippers and with a bright smile on his face.

"Hello, honey," he smiles, pulling her into his strong arms for a quick hug, "We were wondering if you'd cancel today, too," he smirks, leading her to the kitchen.

Her mother is at the stove, wearing an apron, and Meredith knows she'll never get used to see that. Chief Grey in an apron is a sight very few people have been privy to.

"Hi, Mom," she sighs, slumping at the table, watching how Richard steals a piece of cheese and her mother immediately swats his hand, using her Chief voice on him. He only laughs.

They are such different people in their home, Meredith sometimes doubts she has lived with them for most of her life. Thatcher left her, and barely a month later, Richard was already there, teaching her how to ride a bike and bandaging her scraped knees.

He lives in her mother's shadow most of the time, but not in their house. And her mother melts when he's around. Ellis Grey turns into a pile of goo whenever he's near, and if Maggie is there too, their tough surgeon façades crumble.

"How was your day?" Richard asks her, bringing a bottle of red wine on the table.

"Busy," she replies, thinking back on the three surgeries she had performed. "I lost a patient, but I had a Russian roulette chance of the procedure working out. You?"

"Office day," he smiles. "I have a couple of patients coming in next week that might turn into interesting surgeries."

"How's Clemmings?" her mother asks, stirring something in a pot.

"Still an idiot, Mom. You need a new Head of Neuro."

"Meredith…" she sighs dramatically.

"What? I've told him I want to start a trial a million times, and it's a great trial, it has a lot of potential, and he always shuts me down."

"A trial?" Richard asks, sitting down across from her.

"I want to turn inoperable gliomas into operable ones. I've read a study about injecting live viruses to make the tumor shrink, but it still hasn't been tested on humans."

"How come you didn't come to me?" her mother snaps.

"Because I can do it on my own."

"Not as your mother," she rolls her eyes. "I'm the Chief, Meredith."

"I'll keep harassing Clemmings, Mom."

Ellis shakes her head as she samples the sauce, then she brings the pot on the table, killing the stove.

"You know, you're so stubborn sometimes. I'm not the devil. I listen to my surgeons."

Meredith sighs. "Do you know what it's like?" she snaps. "People mock me daily, mother. They tell me I'm too young, they say you brought me in because nobody wants a toddler poking in their brains, they undermine my authority all the time. I yell at my interns and they fear me, and yet nobody respects me in my department. So, sorry if I don't come crying into your office when I don't get my way with Clemmings. This is my fight, Mom."

"Meredith, I was the only woman in my year, and Richard the only black man. We know what it's like," Ellis says gently, very much unlike her. Or a her Meredith has long forgot exists.

"Sorry, I'm just… I'm sorry." Meredith shakes her head, serving the pasta, her eyes fixating on the plates she's filling before she slumps back on her chair.

"Are you okay, Meredith?" Richard asks, his eyes brimming with concern.

"I'm fine," she nods, stabbing her penne with the fork.

"Meredith, I'm not asking as your Chief of Surgery here, but is there something going on between you and Shepherd, the intern?" Her mother jabs right where it hurts and she swallows thickly. Stupid hospital gossip.

"No," she replies, only she knows she's lying. Her body warms up at the mere memory of the toe-curling kiss they have shared in his kitchen for David's birthday, or the way he makes her feel with a simple look. She's a lying liar. "Why? I've heard about the rumors, they're not true."

"Meredith we know you are not the mother of Shepherd's son. Why were you going out with him?"

"David likes me. His son. His name is David. The little boy you saw in my office."

"Oh, Meredith…" Her mother sighs, something in her eyes that looks a lot like pity.

"That's not what you think. It's not. I stitched him up when he cracked his head open and he...He doesn't make friends easily, and he likes me. He really likes me. He's a good boy, he has SPD and he needs people he can trust around him. Shepherd...he's raising him alone. They need people."

Her parents look at each other knowingly, and she avoids their gazes, focusing on her food. They don't need to know how wonderful Derek Shepherd's kisses are or what holding David makes her feel. They don't.

"We're not worried, Meredith. We just want to understand," Richard says softly.

"I'm David's friend."

"You need friends," Richard sighs. "You need people."

Meredith shakes her head, sharing a look with her mother. She's afraid the woman already knows way too much for her comfort, but she can't go back now. Unfortunately, when she wants to, Ellis Grey can read her like a book.

* * *

 **A/N: I know you guys want some background info on Meredith, not just Derek. I promise it's coming, you just need to be patient. I'm sprinkling hints here and there, just pick them up and let me know what you think will come out! Thank you for reading and loving this, it warms my heart to see all of your reviews and comments.  
**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Welcome back! This is one of the classic storylines I'm sure you all loved at the time, so I'm really happy I get to include this one here. Of course I made my own edits to it, so I hope you'll enjoy!  
**

* * *

 **Chapter 15**

* * *

The ER is a madhouse, and Meredith is loving every second of it. She woke up with a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach this morning, and there's nothing like a busy ER to keep her dread at bay.

They all are minor injuries, except Mr. Carson, the genius who decided to play war with his buddy and ended up shattering his spine when he was hit in the back with the ammunition of their homemade cannon.

Now there's a paramedic with her hand stuck in the hole in his back, as they wheel him to a trauma room.

People really are crazy, working in the ER is a daily reminder. Especially when she stares at Mr. Carson's wife, who hasn't stopped screaming bloody murder from the moment she has stepped foot in the hospital.

She needs the distraction, when Derek Shepherd is her intern for the day.

Part of her, the professional part of her, is glad she has him – the spine reconstruction looks complicated since she can barely see anything from the scans – and the guy has good instincts. She knows she can trust him not to royally screw up.

"Are you flying in blind?" Derek asks her while they're both studying Mr. Carson's scans, and she's grateful she's looking at them in the trauma bay and not in a secluded viewing room. She's not sure she can stand his presence when they are alone in a room and not feel the overwhelmingly urge to push him against a wall and have her way with him.

That crooked smile of his and those sparkling pre-surgery eyes will be the death of her.

"The chest x-rays are going to be a blur, we'll have to go fishing for the bone fragments."

"You know I love fishing." He smirks, whispering in her ear, and jeez, he's getting smooth at this. More confident for sure.

"Fine, you're scrubbing in."

They both walk beside the gurney, keeping smiles on their faces and talking about everything but the fact that the man has a hole in his back, the screaming of Mrs. Carson becoming a dull hum the more they near the OR.

Hannah, the paramedic, is freaked out enough as it is. She's plugging a hole with her hand on her second day on the job, she has a right to be slightly nervous. Meredith remembers the jitters of her first week as an intern, and she doesn't wish them on anyone. Except the new interns, who deserve to be tortured.

She stands in front of Mr. Carson's back, her movements still for a beat while she closes her eyes and lets her hand hover over her stomach for a second, gathering her wits, allowing the rest of the world to disappear. All her bad feelings and her confusions fall away as she focuses. She can feel Derek's eyes on her, but he doesn't speak until her ritual is over; he's one of the first interns to do so without the need of a glare.

"He's under," he says, finding his spot beside her.

On the other side of the operating table there's Dr. Bailey, the best resident in the program, ready to patch up the General portion of the surgery. Still, Meredith wonders how long it will take Ellis Grey to swoop in and replace Bailey in front of her, considering how high profile this case might turn out to be.

Hannah is cracking jokes and shaking slightly next to Bailey when they are ready to start the surgery.

Meredith can barely make the first incision to enlarge the opening where Hannah has her hand before the OR door cracks open and Ellis Grey appears. She's standing there, a mask over her mouth, her eyes filled with worry.

"Dr. Grey, I need to speak to you."

Meredith rolls her eyes. "You can jump right in, Dr. Grey." She shrugs, though the look in her mother's eyes is the one telling her not to mess with her.

"Please, step away from the table and talk to me." Yep, her tone of voice is definitely the one for serious conversations. Like when she dyed her hair pink, or she told her she was going to Europe for the summer with Sadie kind of serious.

She tries not to make sudden movements to scare off her surgical team as she gets closer to her mother.

"It's a code black, Meredith," she says, her face pale.

"Code what?"

"Black," she repeats, serious and resolute.

"Isn't that for the ER only? When they are at full capacity?"

"No, this is our own code black," Ellis says gravely. "Bomb in a body cavity."

Meredith feels her knees shaking. She had a point with her bad feeling. "B-Bomb?"

"Yes, the paramedic is holding the device steady. There's live, unexploded ammunition inside Mr. Carson's body. If the girl moves even of an inch, the whole place could blow up."

"Fuck." Meredith shakes her head in disbelief. "This is...fuck."

"You should evacuate."

Her eyes widen. Okay, yes, there's a bomb, but this is her patient. This is a paramedic as green as they come. She can't leave the girl alone holding a bomb just because they are scared.

"What? No. It's my patient. My OR."

"Meredith, the device is extremely unstable. We called the bomb squad, they're on their way. They told us to evacuate."

"Someone needs to stay here. Monitor the patient, and the paramedic. I'm staying. I'll have the rest of the team leave."

"Reckless," her mother says, shaking her head. "You're reckless and crazy."

"They need me. If I explode, so be it. Other people in this place have families waiting for them at home. Spouses and children and parents who want to see them come home. I'm okay right here."

"I want you to come home!" she hisses, and Meredith's eyes widen slightly. "Meredith I…"

"Mom, I'll be out of here soon. Don't think like that. I'll be okay."

Her mother doesn't look convinced one bit, but heaves out a sigh. "Fine. Stay. Just…"

"I'll be okay."

Meredith moves back near the table, near the bomb, watching as the whole OR is talking in hushed tones about the conversation she just had with the Chief of Surgery.

"Alright, we are in code black, people. For those of you who don't know, code black here means bomb. We're dealing with a bomb."

"Where?" One of the scrub nurses asks, the anesthesiologist already springing on his feet.

"Inside Mr. Carson." Meredith sighs, watching as Hannah turns white as a sheet and starts moving her hand. "NO!" Meredith shouts, grabbing her hand and keeping it steady. The girl is shaking. "You're keeping him from bleeding out and blowing up, Hannah. If you move, he dies and we all explode. Don't move." Meredith takes a deep breath, keeping her hand firmly over Hannah's. "Those of you who want to go, you are free to leave."

Right after she says that, a flurry of men in black Kevlar vests enter her OR, mingling with the shuffling of her OR team leaving the room. After the procession is over, there are only four people in the OR apart from the bomb squad: Hannah, Dr. Bailey, Dr. Shepherd and herself.

"Are you crazy?" She stares down Derek as they are brought to the side and given protective gear as well.

"What?"

"You have a son. You are his only parent." She almost wants to add a _duh_ , but she doesn't. He clearly knows that, doesn't he?

"And we're not blowing up. The bomb squad is here. We'll be okay. I'll tell this to David and he'll brag about his daddy seeing a bomb for weeks to his school buddies."

"Der...Dr. Shepherd, this is not a joke. It's uncontrolled, homemade ammunition. Highly unstable, just like Mr. Carson and his buddy who made them."

He chuckles. The madman has the courage to chuckle. "We're still not dying. I have survived years of SPD, I won't die like this. And I hope God will have mercy for a single dad."

"You believe in God?"

"My mom believes more." He shrugs, as they both move back to the table.

Hannah looks terrified as they wrap her into the vest, her eyes wide and glassy.

"I can't do this," she whispers, her shoulders shaking. "I can't."

"You can," Meredith murmurs back, smiling gently, helping the bomb squad guy tape the flak vest over Hannah's boobs.

"No, no, no, no." Hannah shakes her head, tears streaming steadfastly down her cheeks.

The air shifts around the girl for a second and Meredith feels her heart sink down to her stomach. Hannah is removing her hand.

Meredith tries to keep the girl's hand steady on the device, but before she knows it, Hannah's fingers are slipping out of the wound, and the girl is escaping from the OR door.

"You damn fool." Dr. Bailey breathes out, shaking her head as she looks down at Meredith's hand, now buried inside Mr. Carson's back, taking the place of the paramedic.

Stupid bad feelings.

"I was trying not to blow us all up, Dr. Bailey." Meredith sighs, but the resident is still shaking her head.

Meredith turns her head to look at Derek, watching as his eyes are wide, fear gripping him as he stands on the other side of the table, his hands limp at his sides.

"What the hell happened, here?" The guy with the sharp eyes commanding the bomb squad snaps, and Meredith closes her eyes.

The bomb is strangely warm to the touch, after being buried inside Mr. Carson for so long. It's lukewarm and smooth, and she can almost wrap her whole hand around the largest part of its missile-like shape. She can feel the blood that Mr. Carson's body is pumping through him, and she's hyper-aware of everything happening in her own body. It's been awhile since she's been so in tune with herself. She hears her blood rush through her ears, her breathing – trying to keep it nice and even – her feet solidly planted on the ground.

"Dr. Grey." Derek sighs, though he shakes his head. "Meredith – "

"I know," she says, her turn to take a deep intake of breath. "Not the smartest move ever."

"Brave, though."

"Dr. Shepherd, you can leave."

"I'm not leaving you," he says, winning a poignant look from Bailey.

"Derek, think about David."

"I'm thinking about him. I can't tell him you saved us all from certain explosion and I was too coward to stand by you."

"This is not about bravery. You need to be smart about this."

"Shepherd's not the brightest crayon in the box, Grey." Bailey butts in, glaring at both of them.

"See? I'm staying." He smirks.

"You can go too, Dr. Bailey."

"I'm staying."

"What about little Tuck?"

Bailey smiles. "Derek is right, we're not blowing up."

"See, thank you, Dr. Bailey."

"What if we do?"

"We'll duck and hope for the best. Maybe it's a lame bomb." He shrugs winning an eye-roll from Bailey.

"I'll tell you what, I'll let you call me Miranda if we get out of here alive," she says with a smirk, then turns sharply towards Derek. "No, Shepherd, you're never calling me Miranda."

"Aww," he whines. "I could be dead in an hour."

"Or you could be on rectals for the next year."

She actually giggles at them, even though she's practically ready to poop her pants. Maybe it's good if they remain there.

"Talk about something else. Something funny."

"My son is pretty funny." Derek boasts, only winning a glare from Bailey.

She watches as the two of them keep squabbling in their corner of the room as Bailey keeps ventilating Mr. Carson manually to avoid the oxygen, and Derek prompts the conversation. She loves to hear these two argue about the most pointless themes. Everything beats thinking about the explosive device she's holding.

The bomb squad guy, Dylan, comes back, announcing that they can proceed with the extraction. She loves the calm that this guy exudes, he feels a lot like Derek, even if he's a completely different man. Less hair, brown eyes, a lot less sense of humor.

"You're going to do great," Derek murmurs quietly as he backs away from the body cavity.

She wraps her fingers around the bomb a little more firmly, willing her body not to shake.

"You can do it," he whispers again.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," he says with a smile.

"Alright, wrap your hand on the nose cone," Dylan says, though she can barely hear him.

Her whole life flashes before her eyes, as cheesy as it sounds. There's still so much that she wants to do, so many things to accomplish and she's just...she has to make peace with it. With everything that happened and what never happened. She has to be at peace.

"Look, you guys, you can all go. I'll be okay. I'm...the house, I'm sure someone will need it. Tell my parents to sell it. Tell Maggie that I loved her and that…"

"Meredith, tell her yourself." Derek's voice is harsher than before, and he snaps her out of her trance. She blinks a couple of times, feeling the stress of her day wash over her. She's exhausted. She wants to leave, she doesn't want to be here.

"Derek – "

"Meredith, don't say it. Save it for later. You'll take out that bomb, they will dispose it, and we'll fish the bones out of Mr. Carson's spine. Just like how you planned."

"I'm scared," she confesses, feeling a tear run down her cheek. "I had a bad feeling when I woke up and now…"

"I know." He smiles, his whole face lightening up. "It will be over in a second," he murmurs, his voice velvety soft.

"Promise?" She gulps.

"I promise."

She gently lifts her hand and the bomb as the whole OR holds their breaths. She keeps her eyes on Derek, his blue eyes, his gentle smile. She can't tear her gaze away or she'll snap and flee like Hannah.

Except, she manages to place the bomb on Dylan's bulletproof gloves, and her whole body sags as soon as her fingertips leave the metal device.

She watches as Bailey and Derek spring into doctor mode, trying to fix Mr. Carson, while Dylan slowly walks away with the bomb.

Only when she hears the quiet rumble of a contained explosion her body restarts again and she takes her rightful place as the leading surgeon.

She has no idea how long the surgery lasts, because she's on autopilot. She searches and sutures and cauterizes until Mr. Carson's body is fixed, and she can safely say he will be fine.

The exhaustion hits her like a ton of bricks as soon as she puts down the needle.

"Good job, Miranda." She smiles at her resident, who smirks back.

"Meredith," she says with a nod, before moving to the scrub room.

A nurse comes in to wheel Mr. Carson to the ICU, and, as she watches the gurney disappear, she feels two strong arms wrap around her torso, holding her firmly.

Safe.

All the bad feelings and the crap melt away, as Derek's arms envelop her in a blanket of safety. Maybe hugs are a good relaxation method indeed.

"Man, that was scary," he whispers next to her ear.

She nods into his chest, unable to say anything more, only returning his hug. It feels intimate and a little too perfect, but her brain is in overdrive, she can't say anything more.

"Celebratory drinks later at Joe's? Bailey is in." His proposal is a murmur in her ear.

"Sure." She smiles softly, letting go of him. Part of her wants to kiss him again, but she knows she's not exactly one-hundred percent responsible of her actions right in this second.

She needs a nap before Joe's in two hours.

Derek disappears in the scrub room, and she joins him. They share a comfortable quiet, sneaking glances at one another from time to time, his smile soft and welcoming as she tries not to collapse. His arms around her again would surely be helpful in staying upright.

She goes to update Mrs. Carson right after she has dried her hands, Derek following suit, and she's really grateful the woman has stopped screaming like a banshee at this point.

The woman cries, thanking all three of them, but Meredith knows it's not only her merit. Each person in the OR is responsible for the good outcome, even Hannah. Yes, the paramedic might have fled, but she kept him alive until then, probably saved his life before anyone else. Surgery is a team effort, after all.

Mrs. Carson's hug feels a little awkward, but she's used to awkward hugs from grateful loved ones. What is unexpected is her mother, cornering her on her way to her office, arms wide open.

Before she can put two and two together, Ellis Grey is hugging her. And not a gentle hug, a squeezing, burrito hug like the ones Derek has perfected for David. It feels like a genuine hug, a good hug; Meredith has no idea what to think.

"I'm so glad you didn't die today," Ellis says, her voice barely above a whisper, completely different from her usual tone.

Yep, Meredith is pretty sure she's already in her office asleep as soon as these words come out of Ellis Grey's mouth.

* * *

 **A/N: I hope you liked this one as much as the ones coming before it! Also, sorry for the lack of David, I kinda missed him too here!**

 **I'm leving for the US next Monday, so I won't be able to update until August comes and my schedule as an au pair will settle. I'm not abandoning any story I have on-going, I just need some time to regroup! Keep the faith, and thank you for sticking with me!  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Welcome back! It took a while to update again, but at least it's a long one, right? We just witnessed the bomb almost exploding in the hospital, and this will be the aftermath.  
**

 **I don't want to spoil you anything, but for the sake of being correct, the rating is going up to M around the middle of the chapter, so be prepared for that. It's light M, but I want to be safer than sorry. And that adds to the reason why it took me forever to publish a new update.  
**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 16**

* * *

"I almost died today," Meredith states, slamming the shot down on the dark counter. Joe is already coming closer for a refill.

She turns to look at Derek, at how soft his eyes are, the gentle smile on his lips as he tilts up the tumbler and lets the scotch trickle down his throat. The man is handsome. Blue is definitely his color, but even the red shirt he's wearing makes him look like a sex god.

Bailey stayed for one drink, then left, deciding that she wants to be home with Tuck to celebrate her long day. Meredith is well into her tequila ritual for the night, instead, and Derek is keeping up the pace.

"You almost died today," he echoes, his voice velvety. She's sure that this voice could easily undress her without him moving a muscle, good heavens.

"It's just..." She shakes her head, drowning another shot. She's not sure how many she had, probably four? The bar is already swimming a little. "I had my hands on a bomb."

"You did. That was…"

"Idiotic?" She giggles, and he chuckles with her.

"Brave. Selfless."

"I'm nothing special, Derek." She hums, lowering her gaze when she ses his eyes twinkling and his smile widening.

"You are pretty remarkable, Dr. Grey." He smirks.

Meredith traces the rim of her shot glass, still shaking her head. Maybe she's already past her fun drunk stage and she's already in moping. Not good.

She busies herself with the peanut shells on the counter to avoid his gaze.

"I'm glad you didn't die today," he murmurs, and her eyes snap up to his when she feels his fingers close around hers.

He grabs her hand and rubs soft circles with his thumb, his eyes firmly on her. Her whole body heats up.

"Me too," she whispers back, swallowing thickly.

She wants to drink more tequila, but she can't slip her hand out of his. She can't. She turns her hand around and tangles their fingers instead, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm glad you didn't die because it would have been my fault," she murmurs.

"I decided to remain there, Meredith. I made a choice."

She shakes her head. "Why?"

"Would it have been any different if instead of a bomb it was a ditch and I had to climb down to save the guy?"

"Derek, you have David waiting for you at home, you can't be..."

"Reckless? Nobody can. I'm sure you have people who love you at home, waiting for you."

Meredith snorts, she can't help herself. "Right." She chuckles bitterly, drowning the shot.

"I'm serious. You must have someone," he repeats, but she can only lower her eyes.

She can see his face crumble. Yeah, nobody expects a successful neurosurgeon to be completely alone, she knows the drill.

"My mom hugged me." She offers as consolation for him, adding a shrug. "Ellis Grey hugged me."

"Meredith, if something like that happened to David I would hug the shit out of him, even if he freaks out."

"You're not Ellis Grey." She shakes her head, signaling Joe for more tequila.

"Meredith, she has her own way to show it, but she loves you."

"Derek, I'm the turkey leftovers from Thanksgiving," she says bitterly, drowning her tequila. "God, you love turkey, you crave turkey, and then you can't see turkey until Christmas because that's all you've been eating for a week. I'm not...she loves Maggie and Richard, but me? I'm not so sure she always loves me."

His fingers squeeze hers tightly, and she sees the disbelief in his eyes. Of course he grew up with the perfect family and a truckload of love and he doesn't understand.

"She loves you."

"Derek, you had the perfect childhood with sunshine and rainbows and smiley posters on the walls, much like Maggie. Me? I've always felt like an outsider in the little family my mother built with Richard."

"My dad was murdered in front of me when I was eleven, Mere."

She gasps, turning sharply towards him to see his eyes fill with emotions. "I'm sorry."

"I'm just saying."

"My father left when I was five. Never looked back. And then Richard swooped in."

"At least you had him," he says, sipping his scotch.

"Yeah," she murmurs, drowning her newly-refilled shot.

The hum of the bar fills the silence that falls between them, and for the first time in her life, the silence is not uncomfortable. Heavy, but not uncomfortable. Derek is holding her hand and looking at her, and she doesn't care that they're not saying anything to one another. She enjoys this enough not to care.

"How's David?" she murmurs, and his face lights up.

"He's with my mother tonight. I told her to stay over, since our surgery was going to be pretty long. He's the same messy, noisy boy he always is." He chuckles.

"Good."

"He loves the sand, by the way. Loves it."

"I'm glad." She grins.

"He told me I should hug you and give you a kiss on you cheek because it's the best present ever. He also added a squeal after that."

Meredith giggles then, shaking her head at David's antics. She feels the eyes of a few nurses and other interns on her, so she sobers up.

"If you want to hug me, it's better if we do it outside. There's enough gossip about us floating around," she murmurs.

"Let's get out of here, then," he suggests, his eyes twinkling.

She shouldn't. She knows she shouldn't leave with him, but holy cow, if it's tempting. The way he's looking at her makes her want to leave with him indeed.

"I'm ready to call it a night." She nods, then smirks. "But I'm not going home with you."

He laughs while she puts her feet on the ground and stands up slowly; the bar is still spinning.

"Whoa! One tequila too many?"

"Always is." She sighs, closing her eyes and willing her head to stop so that she doesn't collapse in front of half the hospital staff.

Her eyes snap open when she feels his hand on the small of her back, keeping her steady, as his other one wraps around her shoulder. He's lucky the bar counter is covering his hand placement, but she knows there will be gossip in the morning.

She ignores the slight tilt of the floor and makes her way outside the bar, Derek still firmly at her side, leading her to the door and making sure she's not breaking anything or bumping into anyone. She can't remember ever walking out like this. Usually, when she was this drunk, her lips were tangled with some boy's, and she never noticed the spinning.

Derek makes her head spin aside from the tequila, so that might be a factor. She breathes in the damp air as soon as they walk out, hoping it can help her.

"I should go," she says, facing him.

He doesn't reply with words, he pins her to the wall instead. His lips capture hers hungrily, his body pressing her against the bricks as his hands roam from her hips to her back, sneaking under her shirt, or kneading her hair.

Her body responds to his touch and she wants to memorize every second. It feels so familiar to be kissing him like this, so safe. She knows they should stop, that anybody could walk out of Joe's and catch them, but she can't stop kissing him.

When he pulls away, his eyes are glassy and his hair tousled as she keeps him close. He gulps in a breath before they're kissing again, with even more desperation, keeping their bodies as close as clothes allow, her hips grinding into his.

There's moaning, but she's not sure who's louder between them.

"Tell me your place is around the corner." He groans, nibbling on her lower lip as she curls her leg around his hip and thrusts forward. He lets out a frustrated growl.

"It is." She moans, slipping her tongue into his mouth again. "Thank God."

"We...home. We can't…"

"I know." She whines, unable to part from him. "Can't ravage you out here."

He chuckles, then slowly removes his body from hers. They're both panting, gazing into each other's eyes without a care in the world. They both wince when their bubble is burst by a cluster of voices reaching their ears, sounds from inside coming and going as the door of Joe's opens and closes.

"Take me home." He growls, and he looks just about ready to kiss her again.

"Home." She nods, shaking her head from the haze of their make-out session, knowing there's more to come if she can move her feet quickly.

Usually, she goes home with the boys, knowing that it's easier to slip out rather than kick them out, but this time, she doesn't care. Part of her doesn't want to kick Derek out at all, if mere kissing makes her this flustered.

He lunges at her again, almost literally sweeping her off her feet, and she doesn't want to end this. She can't end this.

"One for the road." He smirks, pulling away, a satisfied smirk gracing his features.

Doing something even more unheard of in the Meredith Chronicles, she grips his hand in hers, then moves away from the brick wall, leading him home. They hurry along puddles in the damp pavement, laughing and teasing each other.

By the time she's at her front door, they're both breathless.

"Third floor." She moans as she turns away from him to open the door and his lips find the back of her neck. Heat pools at her core as he nibbles and explores with his hands.

The door flies open and she's glad it can close on its own because she's sure she wouldn't have cared if it didn't as they hurry up the stairs, too impatient for the elevator. Her own front door is an obstacle enough as it is.

As soon as they step inside the apartment, she slams Derek's body against the door, closing it with the force of the impact, and then she attacks his mouth.

He doesn't protest at all.

"Mere." He moans, when they finally pull away to take a deep breath.

Their chests are heaving, and both of them look already flushed and rumpled, if Derek's appearance is enough of a tell. He has never been more gorgeous.

"Couch?" She gulps, zipping open his jacket, letting it fall on the floor.

She feels self conscious as he appraises her with a single look, then sheds her of her jacket, taking away her top as well a moment later.

It feels like seconds before they're stumbling towards the couch, their clothes all over her apartment, their bodies hot and tangled.

Her brain is in a haze as they pleasure each other into orgasmic frenzy, and she has no idea how in the world he can know her body so well. She drives him crazy, she can see it in the way he responds to her, but the way he's touching her is nothing she has ever experienced before.

She's not sure it's because she knows him, he's not a random guy in a bar as her usual, but he knows what makes her writhe in pleasure until she's begging, or what makes her scream until she's hoarse. And part of her knows what makes him growl and moan and squirm too, and she's not sure why either.

She knows it's surreal when they lay on the couch panting, their bodies still tangled, and she doesn't want him to go. He's still inside her, soft and spent, and part of her is already missing him.

Her head is cloudy after the countless orgasms; he looks pretty sated himself. Yet, she's ready to start from the beginning if it means he's not leaving her anytime soon.

He's still catching his breath as he peppers kisses over her shoulder, rolling on the side so that she's resting her cheek on his chest. She whimpers when he slips out of her.

"I'm not sure I can move." He chuckles, shifting to dispose of his condom, but then she brings him back in place, holding onto him tightly.

"I...bed?" She gulps, hiding her gaze from him, squeezing her eyes shut when she feels his lips on her hair. She knows he's leaving her soon, and she can't bear it. She needs to have him close.

"Bed," he murmurs in her hair, smiling. She can feel his smile, and she savors it.

* * *

If he thought Meredith Grey was gorgeous before, he never could have imagined how gorgeous she would look after three – maybe four? – orgasms. His skin is still tingling, even if he feels utterly spent, and he wants nothing more than to be buried inside of her again.

He hasn't been with many women in the past six years, most of the rare dates he has attempted ending soon after the sex when he mentioned David, but this time, he can't even think about ending this.

He wraps his arms around her lithe body and lifts her up, carrying her towards her bedroom as she directs him in a sleepy murmur.

She looks small and fragile in his arms, holding tightly onto his naked skin, and he never would have guessed that Meredith could be either of these things. She's usually so strong and bossy, that he figured it carried out in every other part of her life.

Boy, was he wrong.

She's gentle and caring with David, soft and warm whenever she's around his little boy, and that should have given him a clue. What tonight had been came completely out of the blue, though.

Meredith is incredible.

They both crawl under the covers of her bed, and she immediately curls up around him, keeping him captive. She rubs her foot over his calf, her knee grazing his flaccid penis and making it flop against his thigh, forcing him to gulp a big breath, then she kisses him softly.

They've been frenzied and passionate in their kisses so far, right from the bar, but this kiss is as soft as the one they have shared in his kitchen, a kiss he has no idea what it means.

She slowly climbs on top of him, kissing his jaw as she shifts her body and hooks her knees around his hips. He feels the heat of her core on his abdomen as she slides lower with her body and with her lips. He twitches, unsure how his body can manage arousal after being inside her for as long and intensely as he has been, and yet he can still feel the tip of his penis graze her moist lips as she maneuvers him closer.

"Mer." He moans, but before he can protest further, she distracts him with a drugging kiss. When his tongue finally gives in and slips into her, so does his twitching penis.

He quickly breaks off the kiss, but Meredith's legs are keeping him firmly inside of her, even though he's barely starting to harden.

"I need to feel you," she murmurs, grinding her hips. "I need…"

"Mere, I'm not...ready."

Her body stiffens and she rises up, effectively pushing him a little deeper as he lengthens more out of his willpower. God, he's fucking this up. How can he make sense of his thoughts and say stuff that sounds logical when she's on top of him?

Almost as if she senses his troubles, she slips out of him, her eyes glassy. She curls up in a ball on her side of the bed, breaking his heart.

"Mere, please, turn around."

"It's okay, I get it." She shakes her head, and he knows she's trying not to cry.

"You're not getting it," he says, trying to turn her around to face him, feathering kisses on her shoulder blades. She shivers.

"Derek, I get it. You wanted to fuck me to get ahead, get into a cool surgery or two tomorrow. Or maybe brag to Sloan about it, about the fact that you screwed frigid Meredith Grey and he hasn't. Still, you…"

"Meredith, turn around," he tells her with more determination, curling his arm around her and physically turning her. The sadness in her gaze makes his heart clench. "I don't do random fucks, and I don't do fucks to get ahead or to brag to people," he says, pulling her close. She's still stiff in his arms, but she seems to be relenting.

"What was this, then? Opportunity? Scratching an itch?" she murmurs in the space between their chests.

"I can count the women I have been with in six years, Meredith. Last time I was with someone it took me a month to tell her about David, and she fled. One day she was fucking me in her bed, telling me it might go somewhere, the next she had vanished. I haven't tried a relationship since. I don't do random fucks."

Her eyes meet his as she relaxes, her fists uncurling and her palms resting over his heart instead. He turns on his back again then, bringing her on top of him, in the same position they were before, sliding inside of her.

He doesn't care that the little arousal that she had managed to bring out before is now gone and he's embarrassingly flaccid, he gets it. He gets why she wanted him inside of her beyond sex, even though it scares the crap out of him.

"I'm scared too, Meredith," he murmurs, kissing her deeply as he rocks his hips into hers slowly, hardening as she squeezes around him and accommodates his growing length.

"I've never felt this way before," she admits breaking off the kiss, their hips slowing their movements as she rests her ear over his heart. "I can't keep you out of my head, even if it's wrong and frowned upon. I can't."

"I know. I've never felt this way either, not even when I was in a relationship."

"The last boyfriend I had was when I was in med school, and it lasted a few months at best. I have no clue about...This is so…"

"Meredith, we'll take it one step at a time, okay? We'll figure this one out. We both have a lot at stake, with your career and my son, and…"

She takes in a sharp intake of breath. "I know it's selfish, I know, but...can you stay?" she murmurs, pulling him even deeper inside of her as she works him to full length. "Can you stay tonight, if David can be alone? I know it's a lot to ask, but I need…"

"I can stay," he agrees; he knows he'll deal with David tomorrow. He has no desire to sleep alone either.

"Even without constant sex?" she asks, kissing him a little deeper and shifting her hips, rising so that her breasts are practically in his face now.

"We can cuddle," he says breathlessly, capturing one of her nipples in his mouth, making her moan.

"Now?" she giggles, swiveling her hips before she moves up and down his length slowly.

"Later, definitely later," he grins as she starts riding him a little harder and he grabs her hips, thrusting up to meet her body. He's more than ready now.

He's mesmerized by her body as she works on top of him, enthralled by her every movement, how her skin flushes and her breathing catches. He wants her to reach her climax again so he can watch her in her full glory, but it's proving it to be harder and harder. Literally.

She yelps his name when he brings his fingers to her favorite cluster of nerves and she flails. Her body starts rocking in a frenzy as her breasts bounce in tune with her movements. He thrusts harder into her and presses his fingers even more firmly on her nub, but she's such a stubborn woman.

"Let it go," he tells her breathlessly, kissing the hollow of her neck as he moves his fingers in a circle. "Let it go, I'm not going anywhere tonight."

She surrenders as soon as he whispers the words in her ear. She moans loudly into the night, her whole body shaking as the orgasm hits her. His hips are still jerking desperately, trying to prolong her pleasure and holding off his own; he knows his arm is the only thing keeping her upright.

He removes his finger from her and she whimpers and moans, holding tightly onto his shoulder as she slowly collapses against him.

Derek is quick to flip their bodies around and let her back hit the mattress without slipping out of her. She moans at the change of position, her body still riding the tail ends of the orgasm.

"We'll figure this out, Mere," he hums, bringing her limp legs around his waist, then moving them up as high as he can. When he thrusts again she moans loudly, his pelvis grinding into her at the perfect angle.

"More..." she moans. "Again...come again."

"You will," he chuckles, his fingers on her again as he adds even more pressure to his thrusts. She's already clenching around him, and he knows she's really close. He seems to know her body so well already it's incredible how much more pleasurable sex will become when he actually knows her body perfectly. He wants to know her body.

"No...leave," she whimpers, biting her lip as her legs shake around him.

"I'm not," he confirms, thrusting harder. "I'm not, I'm not, I'm not."

He uses his jumbled promise to spur his thrusts, going faster and faster as her body surrenders to his touch, her loud moans accompanying her orgasm as she immediately lets go of her fears, trusting him with her body.

Derek feels even more empowered then, and he can't help but speed up his movements as she keeps clenching and moaning around him, her orgasm bringing him to his in a few more thrusts.

As soon as her body stops flailing, he explodes inside of her, her clenching walls milking the orgasm out of him.

He's still panting when they roll over and she settles on top of him, just like before, on the couch.

He doesn't dare to slip out of her just yet; being honest, he has no desire to do so.

* * *

Meredith wakes up in a cocoon of blankets and Derek, and she's pretty sure she has never slept better before in her life. She basks in their warmth.

When her alarm blares, she shuts it with a slam.

She never wants to leave.

Except she should. And all the thousand reasons why she should hit her like a ton of bricks as soon as she feels Derek's lips press over her forehead.

He stayed. He stayed and left David alone and...she's a monster. She's a selfish, self-centered monster.

"Thank God I have the day off," he murmurs as a good morning, groaning when he finds her lips for a quick peck. "Hey."

"Hi," she breathes on his lips, unable to keep herself in check and the smile off her lips.

Derek makes her feel safe. No matter how busy her head is, he makes the world stop spinning, and he grounds her. The alarm doesn't matter, her fears can be pushed aside, as long as he keeps holding her.

"I have to go to work," she murmurs, burying into his chest, "Saving lives and all that."

"I have to spend the day with David, I'm in trouble. He hates when I have to stay away longer."

"Derek, – " she begins, but he cuts her off with a kiss.

"We'll figure out something to accommodate his needs too. We'll figure it out."

"I'm just...I need…"

"Take some time," he whispers against her skin. "I need some time too. We crossed a line."

"We did. Gosh, we did. We can't go back."

"I don't want to go back."

"Derek, I'm not sure I'm the girl you're looking for, you need someone that can meet your needs and David's and…"

"That's why I'm giving us some time. We'll go slow. You set the pace."

"I set the pace?"

"You're the boss, after all," he smirks, and her eyes widen in horror. She had completely overlooked that fact.

"We're in such deep shit, Derek. Like...fire me, fire you shit," she gulps. "And my mother! Holy crap, Derek!"

"Shh," he hums. "I'm freaking out, too. I'd be checking out of my second internship, that's freaky."

"I'm so, so sorry," she says, then jumps out of the bed. "I'm just going to go get ready now, have a shower and...work. I'll...work. When I'll get back, you won't be here." She winces when she gives him _the_ line, but she can't help herself.

"Fine," he smirks, suddenly looking confident and not like an intern at all.

This man will be the death of her.

* * *

Derek obeys Meredith's orders and leaves her apartment, retrieving his car in the hospital parking lot when it's barely light out, then driving home feeling on cloud nine.

Of course, his heart starts weighing a bit more the closer he gets to his destination.

Never before in his life he has completely disregarded David as he did last night. And he feels an overwhelming sense of guilt, as soon as he enters his garage. He traded off a night of celebrations with David for mind-blowing, out-of-body-experience sex; guilt barely covers what he's feeling.

He enters his home with his head hanging low, still smelling faintly like a flower – Meredith's essence – and sex.

His mother is waiting for him with a cup of coffee and a knowing look on her face.

"You don't need to tell me you're at work when you have a date, Derek."

He sits down, unable to look her in the eyes. "I didn't. I never...We had a tough case and she almost died, so we went out to celebrate with a drink. I just...it was never meant to go this way," he shakes his head, feeling his cheeks heat up.

"Derek, it's okay, I don't want to know what happened."

"I should have called you and told you I wouldn't be home."

"Derek, I was young too, once, I know how easy it is to get caught up in someone. I always cut it way too close to curfew when I was dating your dad."

"We're not dating. We...She…"

"You're allowed to have some time for yourself, Derek. You are. Remember when Dad and I had date nights?"

"I remember."

"David needs to get used to that. To sharing you with someone else."

"It's not really that serious, we just...We barely know each other and it's complicated."

"I know that being with Meredith won't be easy, but is it worth it?"

His eyes widen. "How do you know I was with Meredith?"

"Sweetheart, you look at her like she hangs the moon. And I saw you two kissing at David's party."

He gulps. "I need to be more careful, I need…"

"You need to know where she stands, where you both stand. It will work itself out."

"Her mother is her boss, Mom. The Chief of Surgery and the Chief of Staff are practically my in-laws," he shudders. "I can't believe I spent the night with her."

"Derek, she's not her parents' daughter, or your boss or an attending to you, she's Meredith. You went home with her because she's Meredith."

"Mom, I just…"

"Time, dear. You'll understand where to go if you give it time."

"I told her that; she agrees."

"Good. Then give it time."

His head is still a mess, and his guilt is still rampant, but he doesn't have time to wallow more, because he can hear David climbing downstairs with his usual grace of an elephant stampede.

He'll give it time.

* * *

 **A/N: Whoops, Meredith and Derek! Stay tuned to see how crossing these lines will change their relationship! Thank you for reading and loving IWBY, you guys are amazing.  
**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hello again, readers! Lovely to see you here again!**

 **I've been pretty scarce with updates lately, but I hope you'll forgive me; exploring New York City can be time consuming! I hope you still remember what happened in the last chapter, because Meredith surely does! :P  
**

 **Without further ado, enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 17**

* * *

Meredith spots Derek Shepherd walking in the interns' locker room, joking with his fellow interns, carrying a backpack and looking deliciously yummy.

Almost as if it were muscle memory, her brain recalls that she has seen him naked. Very naked. Gloriously naked. The man should walk around naked.

His eyes meet hers and she blushes. Like a freaking schoolgirl.

Oh, boy, she's in deep.

She ducks around a corner, feeling lame. She's an attending, she should know better. She should exercise her power.

She grabs a chart from the nurses' station, instead, and analyzes it if she were the intern on the case.

Berta Moreno, thirty-four. Brought in the ER last night with a tumor pressing on her Broca's area. Suffers from speech impairments and some difficulties swallowing.

"Good morning, Berta, I'm Dr. Grey," she greets, smiling softly. The woman looks so tiny and fragile in the hospital bed, her black hair contrasting sharply with the pillowcase.

"H'llo," she whispers, falling mute afterwards.

The room is completely empty. No flowers, no cards, no people at her bedside. Meredith's heart squeezes in her chest. Berta has a long recovery ahead of her, and nobody to support her.

Her eyes sweep over the chart, her throat constricting when she sees that the tumor originated in her uterus instead, and metastasized. The uterus that was carrying a baby at the time of the diagnosis, two years prior. She swallows thickly.

"We're going to run a few more scans and labs this morning, okay? Sit tight."

"'Kay."

"We know you'll probably need surgery soon, is there anyone we need to call?"

Berta shakes her head firmly, her eyes filling with tears. "Gone. All gone. Murió Manuel y all gone."

"Okay." She swallows, taking a deep breath, pushing back the memories. "We'll take care of you, Berta, you will be okay."

"Gracias."

Meredith nods, exiting the room swiftly, before it gets to her. She sits down on a chair at the nurses' desk as she orders the tests, her hand shaking slightly as she writes.

Her heart stops when she notices the date. And then she remembers the rush she was in this morning, and the fact that she's been practically on autopilot up until now. Now, when her brain finally registers that it's September sixteen, and it's been six years. Six freaking years.

"Dr. Grey." A voice startles her, and she practically jumps in her chair. She looks up to meet the sharp eyes of Dr. Yang. "I'm your intern for the day."

Part of her is glad Berta will have a good intern like Dr. Yang. She's probably one of the best in her class. Berta deserves the best. And she has no idea how she could have handled Shepherd today, of all days.

She hands Dr. Yang the chart, watching as her eyes light up at the prospect of a cool surgery, even though Meredith knows she'd gladly be in Cardio. "Run labs, CT, MRI, then book an OR for tonight after my shunt."

"Tumor's coming out?"

"We'll take it out."

Dr. Yang practically skips down to Berta's room, leaving her to her thoughts. Her dark place. Her rock bottom. Six years of could-have-beens. Six years.

She hears a code blue being called for Berta's room and she rushes there, watching as Dr. Yang is already working the code. Berta's limp body is shocked twice before her heart starts beating again.

"Add a chest x-ray, I'm afraid the metastasis might have expanded to her heart," she orders slowly as Dr. Yang brings away the bed with the tiny woman on it.

This is so not her day.

Luckily, her pager and a car crash keep her from dwelling much longer about Berta and her six-year anniversary, keeping her busy until it's time for her craniotomy. A craniotomy that makes room to an emergency craniectomy on one of the car crash victims, and then her scheduled – but delayed – shunt.

She's exhausted by the time she can track down Dr. Yang with Berta's test results.

Her heart sinks. It has spread.

"Have you told her anything, yet?" she asks Dr. Yang, who shakes her head.

"Do you think they can remove the metastasis from her heart, too?"

"It has to happen before I go digging into her brain." She sighs. "It doesn't look good for her, though."

"That's what I thought."

"You can still scrub in with me if she gets to the surgery, Dr. Yang."

"Really?"

"Yes." Meredith sighs.

"Thank you!" She beams.

That intern reminds Meredith of her own self, seven years ago, when she wanted nothing but surgeries and she was just as green as Dr. Yang, the same twinkle in her eyes as the young doctor in front of her. It was all different seven years ago, when the only thing that mattered was being the best, and tequila.

"You saved her life today," she tells her, because she needs to know that she doesn't give away surgeries, even when she's tired to the bone and her brain is exhausted with grief.

"Who knows for how long though." Yang shrugs, walking away with the chart.

Meredith sighs, walking back to Berta's room. Their eyes lock, and Meredith can see it in her eyes that she knows. She already knows her destiny.

"The tumor has spread to your heart, Berta."

Berta nods, her eyes closing, her breathing slowing down. Meredith swallows thickly at the pain the woman radiates.

"Manuel," she murmurs, her voice barely audible. "Oh, Manuel, cariño," she keeps repeating, before her mouth stops moving and the monitor starts shrieking with a flat line.

Meredith calls a code, pumping Berta's chest furiously, trying to bring her back. She performs CPR until her arms are sore and she's sweaty with the effort, the code team arriving right after.

They pump her full of drugs and shock her heart four times, before Meredith gives up.

The paddles almost fall off her hands as she blinks back tears.

"Time of death, eleven forty-two," she murmurs, her voice cracking at the end.

It's over.

* * *

They have managed to avoid their feelings – and each other – for the past three days. Three days when Derek has done his best to clear up the air between him and Meredith, and the attending kept fleeing every time they crossed paths.

He has never been assigned to her service, so that might have helped with her avoidance, but it still means he wants to talk to her. Have a serious conversation about what happened between them. They need to talk about it.

Or do it again, he's definitely open for that option.

He's been in the hospital for close to fourteen hours when he finally sees her.

Meredith is coming out of a patient's room, closing the door behind her back, before she looks around the corridor, apparently lost.

Something is not right.

Derek stares at her from a distance, watching as she scrambles towards a closet, practically stumbling inside.

There's something wrong with her.

Derek has no idea what to expect when he stealthily walks towards the same closet and cracks open the door, but he's sure it was not what awaits him.

He thought of vomiting, a secret phone call to make, even her punching something, but his breath hitches in his throat when he sees Meredith Grey sitting on the floor against a shelf, sobbing her heart out.

She has her arms curled around her bent knees, her fingers clasping the fabric of her scrubs as she hyperventilates.

He slams the door closed quickly behind him, her eyes meeting his for a blink, before she focuses on the wall in front of her. What stares back at him is haunting.

Meredith is not a hardcore surgeon anymore as she falls apart in that closet. She's not the badass Medusa that always scares away interns. This is a broken woman.

"He...he…" She sobs, her breathing so ragged she can't get out a simple sentence.

His heart squeezes in his chest. He crouches in front of her, unsure of what to do.

"Slow, deep breaths," he hums, hoping it can help, but instead she seems to be sobbing even harder.

"He...he's…"

"Slow down," he tells her, unsure if she can even hear him.

"He's dead, he's dead," she repeats on a loop, her voice cracking with a sob at the end. She doesn't say anything more then, practically unable to breathe by that point.

"Shh," he murmurs, stretching to grab a paper bag, then sitting down next to her.

Meredith clutches onto the bag for dear life as the air fills it, then goes back in her lungs. Her eyes close. One of her hands moves away and clasps his tightly; the same hand with which he handed her the bag is now held captive, her fingers squeezing his for dear life as her breathing still comes out in harsh puffs, and silent tears stream down her cheeks.

Derek puts a tentative hand on her back and rubs her shoulders, tracing wide circles between her shoulder blades and her spine, her body taut as an elastic band.

Slowly, her sobs dissolve into raspy breaths, her shoulders drop, and her body sags, slumping against his chest. Derek is taken aback at first, but he's quick to encircle her shoulders with his arm and let her rest her cheek on his clavicle, his fingers sprawled on her upper arm as he feels the wetness seep through the neck of his scrubs.

He has no idea how long they remain locked in this strange, intimate embrace as Meredith's body surrenders and calms down. Her tears disappear just as slowly, leaving his neck humid and his heart wrought. Her hand is still firmly clutching his.

Their eyes lock when she pulls away, and she looks beautiful in this dim light. Raw and defeated, but beautiful nonetheless.

"I'm okay," she croaks, sniffling and wiping away the last of her tears from her cheeks.

"You're okay," he echoes, attempting a small smile as he brushes away a strand of her hair. She mirrors his expression.

"Just a bad day."

"They happen," he murmurs, squeezing her hand. Her eyes widen slightly when she notices that their bodies are still connected; yet, she doesn't pull away. "I'm sorry about your patient," he says, tentatively guessing that she was the one who called the code and lost someone. It seems like he has hit the mark.

"Oh," she hums, for a moment looking genuinely confused, but it passes quickly. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He smiles, reaching out to her cheek to wipe away her newest tear. She leans into his touch as if it were normal of them being in this position, almost if he's the only thing that can calm her down right now.

"David is right," she hums, a small smile on her lips, "you're good at this."

He chuckles, he can't help himself. "Wanna try a burrito hug?"

"Derek," she says, shaking her head as her eyes sparkle with tears and amusement.

"I'm not telling anyone, I promise. Our secret." He looks at her intensely, watching as she seems to be giving in. "You look like you need a hug."

"Derek, we – "

"It doesn't matter. I know we need to talk. You need a hug first." He even tilts his head to convince her, and his smile seems to make her cave.

She takes a deep breath, crawling an inch closer to him, their thighs touching, before resting her cheek over his shoulder again.

Derek's arms wrap around her on instinct, and their bodies melt together. It's so natural for them to be hugging like this. He presses his lips on the crown of her head and she sniffles. His arms tighten around her, and a sob escapes her once again.

He closes his eyes as he holds her close while she cries for a bit longer, not an inch of space between them as he pulls her into his lap and cradles her close while she curls up in fetal position.

She surrenders.

Derek has no idea why she's so broken today, why she's barely holding it together, but he's afraid to ask. Afraid that he's crossing some kind of boundary, a line between colleagues, friends or boyfriends. He knows they're not in a relationship by all means, and this, holding her like this, comforting her despair, this feels like relationship material.

"Safe," she murmurs into the crook of his neck, so low he's sure she's not even aware of what she's saying, or that he can hear it. "So safe."

"It's okay, you will be okay," he repeats, having no idea how to fix this. Yet, it seems to be helping.

More time passes as they remain there, and everything else falls away. The floor is not cold and hard, the shelf is not digging into his back anymore, his tiredness is pushed aside; Derek can only feel Meredith's warm and shaky body molded to his. Their breathings are in sync as soon as she calms down and her tears subside, her body relaxing as well while he rubs his hand up and down her spine.

Their faces align when she emerges from his hold, and he can feel her hot breath on his lips. He stares deep into her eyes, marveling at how gray they look today, how deep they can search into his soul with this simple look. Their noses touch. Her skin is clammy and cold.

Her fingers move slowly into his hair, holding him in place as she grazes his scalp, barely blinking.

When her lips touch his, they feel like a breeze. Their kiss is soft and gentle, barely a long peck, but it makes his whole body tingle.

"Thank you," she murmurs, before kissing him again, still soft, still gentle, almost as if it's another way for her to thank him. He's not complaining at all about her being grateful.

"Meredith, what does this mean? What are we?"

She shakes her head. "Not today, please. I can't do this today." He hears the desperation in her voice loud and clear, but he can also see it in her eyes, or in the way she passes her fingers through his curls. "Tomorrow?" she suggests, her lips finding his again.

He gets lost in the gentle kisses that she gives him right after, all his thoughts scattering around, his coherence gone out of the window as she uses her own brand of convincing moves. She makes him dizzy.

"Tomorrow," he agrees.

He's still licking his lips when she untangles from him and disappears out of the closet, leaving his arms empty but his heart full.

* * *

 **A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed my reinterpretation of the closet scene. I kinda wanted to have the old lady with the annoyed family members as well, but I thought Berta would be more poignant. I am fond of the old lady though, don't forget that! And I'm fond of your love! Thank you for reading again and again, even after months. You guys are amazing!  
**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hello, again! I want to apologize for the long delay between updates. November was supposed to be the day when I wrapped up IWBY with the next 50000 words, and I wrote less than 4000 words for it** ** **instead**. I'm really good at sticking to plans these days, uh? Anyway, there's still a lot of questions you guys have, and I hope I can solve some of them soon. Maybe not in this chapter, but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway!**

* * *

 **Chapter 18**

* * *

Meredith yawns, sighing loudly as she signs off one last request for blood tests.

As soon as she became a fellow she thought that her sleepless nights were over, but she was oh, so wrong. Her night on call has been long, very long, and her fitful sleep always interrupted by either her pager or a nightmare.

She's still reeling after the day before, with her breakdown in Derek's arms, and the pitying looks her mother had greeted her with in the morning haven't helped. She knows she won't feel centered for a few more days, but usually work helps her cope.

Since work goes together with Derek Shepherd now, nowhere is safe anymore.

Her phone rings, and she immediately picks it up, groaning when she sees her sister's name on the display.

"Maggie, hey," she greets, putting down her pen.

"Morning, Mer," she replies, her tone somber. "Are you in bed?"

"I've been on call, I don't even know what a bed looks like," she says, hoping a little sass can cover her tiredness.

"I would have called yesterday if I thought you were human. You usually aren't."

"I wasn't. But I got over it."

Maggie sighed. "How bad?"

"Mags…" Meredith breathes out. She hates this. She's the big sister, she's the one who's supposed to worry about Maggie, not the other way round.

"How bad?" Maggie prods, unrelenting.

"I'm okay, now."

"Was there tequila?"

Meredith rolls her eyes. "I was at work, of course not."

"Cowboy surgery?"

Crap. Maggie knows her too well. "My patient died before I could even think a surgical plan."

"Lots of tears, then?"

"Some. A moment."

"An hour of tears?!" Maggie exclaims, and Meredith wants to dig a hole. That girl is too smart for her own good.

"I wasn't alone. I promise you I wasn't."

"God, Mer, an hour? I just…"

"It's the only day I allow myself to grieve him, Maggie. I couldn't live with it if I didn't do at least that."

"I was there, Mer. I was devastated, I can't begin to imagine what you could have felt."

"I don't think it's possible to explain, Maggie," Meredith sighs, her heart clenching a little at the mere memory, a memory of downy hair and soft skin she immediately suppresses. "You can still be grieving too, you know? You can miss him. He was family."

"It's different, Mer. He wasn't mine."

"Still. I won't hold it against you if you cried yesterday."

"I did. But I was alone and it got to me."

"We'll get together next year," Meredith suggests, part of her knowing that it would be good to have Maggie around to share the pain. "You'll be more free by then, right?"

"Hopefully. Maybe I'll be an intern in Seattle, who knows?"

"It would be fun. We could share my apartment. I have a free room."

"I remember." Maggie grins. "I want to come visiting again soon. I miss having you around."

"Oh, you just miss Mom and Dad and their spoiling." Meredith giggles, teasing her.

"Maybe. It was so much easier when we still lived with them."

"It was." Meredith sighs. Life was so much easier before college and med school. "Still having issues with Dean?"

"I broke up with the loser." Maggie snorts. "And he still has half of my stuff in his dorm room and doesn't want to give it up. Asshole. Clinging in his sleep wasn't enough, apparently."

"Want me to come and kick his ass, so we'll get back your things?"

Maggie giggles. "I'll let you know if he needs some ass kicking. I'm handling it so far."

"You could always ask Mom. She'll definitely kick his ass if only for the waste of her precious time."

Maggie laughs, and Meredith giggles with her, feeling lighter. It feels good, making her sister laugh, in spite of her tiredness and her crappy day.

Meredith frowns when a cup of coffee magically appears next to her hand.

When she lifts up her gaze, she's met with Derek Shepherd's smiling eyes and perfect hair. She frowns, but his smile only deepens.

"Mags, I gotta go. I have interns sucking up to handle."

"Sure, go Medusa!" Her sister laughs as she ends the call.

"Why are you sucking up?" Meredith asks, putting away her phone and staring Derek down, instead. The man is still smiling widely.

"I'm not."

"Right. Which surgery do you want in? Because I have nothing out of the ordinary planned for today."

"I'm not saying no to any surgeries, but that's not the reason for this coffee."

"You're volunteering to do my paperwork, then?"

He smirks, looking even more handsome. There's a confidence that wasn't there before, not even after their sexcapade. Her cheeks heat up when she recalls his face in the closet while she was falling apart, and she tries to scold herself into her tough attending mask.

"Is this to check on me after what happened yesterday?" She hisses, glaring at him.

His eyes soften. "No, but I'm still concerned. Are you okay?"

"Yes." She replies quickly, but he seems to read into her fake fine-ness. She's not as bad off as she was yesterday after the realization that for the first time in six years she had forgotten the anniversary, but she still doesn't feel one-hundred percent herself. Derek doesn't need to know that, though.

"Good, I'm glad," he says, his voice soft and sexy at the same time. She takes a sip of her coffee to avoid him and relish the perfect taste of it. He managed to get it just right. If he were bribing her for a surgery he'd definitely scrub in.

"Dr. Shepherd, really – " She starts her rant, buying herself time with another sip of coffee.

"Do you want to have dinner with me?" he blurts, suddenly not looking as smooth and confident as he did a minute before. He's awkward intern Derek all over again, and she almost chokes on her sip of coffee.

She coughs, grabbing a tissue from the box at the nurses' station, noticing Derek's blush as she tries to catch her breath and avoid spraying coffee all over her charts.

"Sorry," he murmurs, lowering his gaze to the ground.

"Dinner...you want dinner?" she repeats, her voice slightly more high-pitched than usual. He's making her nervous for sure.

"Yes. Or lunch. Or anything," he splutters. "Dating. I'm asking you out on a date."

"Uh?" Her eyes widen and she freezes, staring at him, wondering if he's still sane or he hit his head pretty hard during their sexathon. "I don't date," she blurts, though she can see his face falling miserably. She just kicked his puppy, indeed.

"Oh." He hums, sounding defeated. "Not even me?" he asks, hope dripping from every syllable, even though he tries to be charming about it.

"I'm not a good date," she says bluntly, gathering her stuff and leaving him behind, not knowing what to do.

She's pretty sure she broke Derek Shepherd's heart, but she can't understand why she feels so bad about it.

* * *

Derek is not sure he'll ever see the inside of an OR again. Either way, he knows he won't scrub in with Dr. Grey in a long, long time. Probably the end of his residency. Maybe his entire career.

He still feels the shame of rejection burning through him when he thinks about Meredith Grey and his lame attempts at asking her out. Part of him wonders if he just imagined whatever they had shared at her house and in the closet, if it was all in his head.

"Daddy!"

He lets a smile spread out on his face when he sees David running towards him. At least he has his son to brighten up his days, even when he screws up.

He'll be a doctor, no matter what Dr. Grey will put him through to get there.

"Daddy I made a rocket with a cardboard box!"

David makes some of his brooding mood disappear, as Derek tries to focus on his son's explanation on the proceedings for cardboard rockets. He looks so proud Derek gets sucked in by his enthusiasm.

They end up going home on time for once, and his mother even lets Derek cook, which he desperately needs. Cooking always clears his head from the daily clutter, just like surgery, and he needs a good clean-up before he figures out his next move. Or if it's worth jeopardizing his relationship with Meredith if they end up hating each other's guts after dating for a while. He especially doesn't want to hurt David, and he knows it will be a tough blow for him if he'll start seeing more of Meredith, only to never see her again.

He wishes they'd write books on this, because he hates going in blind.

Having David has helped with spontaneity, since there's not much they can plan at times, but Derek still struggles with control. And dating Meredith Grey requires him to surrender all control sometimes, considering their positions.

Part of him knows she's worth it, though.

That's why he brings her coffee even the next morning, only this time he doesn't say anything, he just leaves a note on it as he slides it closer to her. There's an odd look in her eyes, but he leaves before he can figure out what it means.

The ball is in her court.

* * *

It takes Meredith one day to figure out Derek Shepherd is wooing her, three days before she finds his coffees with post-its on them cute, an entire week before she has the guts to page him to her office and talk to him.

She's staring at the notes she has collected in the past week, a smile curling up her lips at the chickeny scrawl he has and the cheesy words on them, and she knows she would have figured out they were from him even if he wasn't present when she received the coffees. Only Derek would write something like "If you know me, you'll love me" on a note and still smirk as he delivers it. Also, Thursday's note with "I have the cutest, funniest son on the planet" was another dead giveaway, but she was already on board by then.

There's a knock on the door and she hides the notes before she welcomes him in. He looks as nervous as she feels. Handsome, but nervous.

"You paged me?"

She takes a deep breath, willing to be smooth and collected and nice, but she only ends up blurting: "I'm not ready to date you."

"Oh." He sighs, his body frozen midway from the door to her desk, his eyes wide. "Meredith if I made you uncomfortable with the coffees and the notes…"

"They were sweet, I loved them. And I loved the coffees."

"I bet you did." He grins, cocky again, now.

"I'm dark and twisty, Derek. I don't date, and even if I did, I'm not someone you want to date."

"We all have our darkness."

"I drive away happy people, and you have a son. He knows me, he likes me, and I like him. I can't…"

Derek sighs loudly. "I get it."

"I'm not backing away because of David, Derek."

"They all do. It's okay, I know it's not easy."

"Derek, I'd date you _because_ of David. That's the problem."

"What?" Derek looks genuinely confused by her statement, but who wouldn't?

"I enjoy spending time with you, but I'm also drawn to you by David and the relationship you have with him, and that's not healthy. He's a big part of your life, but he's not your whole life. I barely know you, let's be honest."

Derek looks taken aback. "Wow, this is a first." He chortles nervously, shaking his head.

"I'm not dismissing this!" She rushes to correct herself. "There's something here, I just...It's all fuzzy here, and I need clear boundaries. I need to know where I stand."

"So can we try being friends? Get to know each other? Revise this in a while?"

"It will be complicated either way, Derek. I'm your attending, you're an intern…"

"I checked the rules and regulations and it's an implicit rule, to be honest."

"Still."

Her eyes are low on her desk, unable to see his lost puppy gaze, or his soft eyes, begging her, much like David does.

"Can I still bring you coffee? Will it be seen as bribery?"

"Not if you drink it with me." Meredith smiles, looking up to see the slow attempt of a smile that paints onto his face. Why is she pushing him away when he's so gorgeously perfect? Why can't she be normal and enjoy this, for once?

"What about dinner, as friends? Can I invite you over so you can try my cooking?"

"That's tempting, but I'm not sure."

"So what, we'll figure out the rules as we go?"

"Pretty much." She sighs. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I like having you around, no matter which way I have you. And David likes you, so I'm sure even if I hated you, I'd have to see you often."

"I'm not planning on breaking his heart," she says quickly. "Even if this doesn't work out, I'll still try to spend time with him. I promise."

His face softens. He looks younger, all of a sudden. "Thank you, Mere. It means a lot to me."

A shiver runs down her spine at the nickname, but she tries to shrug it off, hoping he has missed it. His lips twitch in a smile, so she's pretty sure he hasn't. Damn.

"Can I ask you a question, then?"

"Of course."

"If you were dating and you weren't...what was it, dark and twisty?"

"Yes, dark and twisty."

"If you were just Meredith, would you date me?"

There's so much hope in his eyes, so many things unsaid that she can't help but reply "Yes."

The smile that blooms on his face takes her breath away.

* * *

 **A/N: Well, there was a little progress, wasn't there? How long do you think before Meredith caves? How many coffees will that take? Did I answer some of your questions? Because I'm pretty sure I just confused you even more! Thank you for reading even when I keep hiding clues everywhere instead of just explaining the bare facts!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hello, readers! It's good to see you here again.**

 **I wanted to upload this one earlier, but when I noticed that January 17 was coming up, I decided to wait. What's the significance of today? I published the very first chapter of this story exactly one year ago (well, not exactly, since with the time difference and all it's already Jan 18 in Italy right now). Also, I wanted to publish it this morning, but of course life had other plans. It's here now, and it's the best way for me to celebrate.**

 **I figured I would have this whole story totally written out by now, but it's not so. But it will be completed at some point. It's still a story very dear to my heart, so don't despair. Enjoy, instead!**

* * *

 **Chapter 19**

* * *

"You know, I love ferryboats."

Meredith can't help the smile that spreads on her face as she hears Derek's newest attempt at winning her over. He's been courting her with friendly coffees – with cheesy notes – and flirting with her whenever he gets the chance, and she's enjoying every second of it. Even when he says random stuff like this.

"Seattle is surrounded by water on three sides, I'm glad there are ferryboats."

"Oh, I love them because the motion was the only thing that calmed down David during a fit as a newborn. It worked like a charm when he was a baby, but it still seems to do the trick now."

She hides the soft smile on her face at the mention of David, burying herself in a chart. She's been loving her latest run-ins with David, the boy always full of energy and eager to tell her all about his life in kindergarten. She finds herself missing him at times, but she'll never admit it out loud.

"Do you like ferryboats, Dr. Grey?"

She groans. How can he make her title sound so sexy? "I do."

"Wanna ride with me?"

She turns to him with blushing cheeks and what she hopes is her best indignated face, but it only makes his well-constructed mask dissolve into chuckles. Shameless.

"That was out of line, wasn't it?" he says then, looking slightly embarrassed.

"I will definitely get you a marker for that line, someday."

They laugh together, trying to look professional, but failing miserably, considering the looks one of the nurses gives them. Clearly, she's about to interrupt, and then spread gossip about them. Wonderful.

"Dr. Grey? Head lac in curtain five requires your attention. I'm sorry you're the one who has to be stuck down here for Dead Baby Bike Race day."

Meredith groans, and she's not sure why she's feeling so glum all of a sudden, if it's the fact that the busiest day for Seattle neurosurgeons has come, correlated with the most idiotic portion of Seattleites showing up within the four walls of Seattle Grace, or because she can't fake-flirt with Derek Shepherd anymore.

She leaves the nurses' station with a chart, ready to clear one of the stupid biker guys who won an ER visit as part of the race. Considering he checked in as Viper, nothing else, she knows she's in for a nice one.

Viper has a British accent and plenty of tattoos, and she sees Derek sending her a dirty look whenever he turns her way. She only smiles at him, kinda enjoying how jealous he gets. Up to the point when he pages her for a consult, curtain one.

Behind curtain one there's a model. A blonde, leggy, perfect curves, perky breasts model. And she's clearly flirting with Derek. It's painful how clueless he is about the whole thing.

A second after she has entered the room, the bimbo's lips are on Derek's, and Meredith sees red. Even if she's all leggy and fabulous, Meredith has rights over him. Doesn't she? Gosh, maybe she doesn't…

"What's going on here?"

She's amused when Derek turns towards her beet red, hands in the air in surrender, a mortified, puppy dog look on his face.

"Pixie here has a head lac, possible concussion. I stitched her up and I was starting the preliminary exams."

"With your tongue?" Meredith hisses, before she moves closer to Pixie. Derek coughs loudly, only winning a smile from Pixie. He's hopeless, Meredith concludes.

Meredith can't help but be curt with Pixie and dismiss Derek quickly, sending him for her labs and filling the chart with the findings herself, so her anger and jealousy can boil over. She can't believe she's jealous over Derek.

"Sparkles were flying in here, doc. Are you doing the nasty with the pretty intern?" Pixie says with the same mellifluous tone she has used with Derek, and Meredith wonders if she might be flirting with her, too. She should make it very clear that she doesn't swing on that side.

"Do you have any blurred vision Miss...Pixie?"

"Oh, no, I can see the looks between you two very well. Now, tell me, is he an animal in the sack? He looks like an animal."

"Slurred speech clearly doesn't apply." Meredith snickers, making notes on her chart.

"Are you being so secretive because it's a secret romance? An affair?" Pixie's eyes are twinkling. "I'd leave my partner for him in a heartbeat indeed."

Meredith ignores each one of her jabs by sending her up for a CT scan, hoping she won't need to spend any more time in her ER than she needs to. She's already tired of this day and it's barely lunchtime.

If she gets one more patient like Pixie she might not survive the shift.

* * *

A page to the Chief's office never bodes well.

Derek hopes it has nothing to do with the stupid kiss Pixie planted on him in front of Meredith. While seeing a jealous Meredith had been a sight to behold, he really cares about his career. He has no more options now if being a surgeon doesn't work out, and he needs to feed David. A walk of shame back to the restaurant, begging for a job, doesn't sound very adult and responsible at all.

"Dr. Shepherd, Derek." Richard Webber greets him warmly, while he just receives a well-placed look from Ellis Grey. The fact that Ellis Grey is there makes the premises for this whole conversation a hundred times scarier.

"Dr. Shepherd, you were practically at the end of your internship before you checked out last time, am I correct?" Dr. Grey says firmly, not a hint of what is to come in her tone.

"Yes. I was missing only my intern exam and less than a week worth of working hours."

"Family problems?" Ellis fuels, reading from a chart in her lap.

"I became a father, Dr. Grey. My son didn't sleep for more than an hour consecutively for the first two weeks of his life. Then it was in bursts of two and a half hours for the next eight months."

"Maggie was like that," Richard says, a proud smile on his face.

"That's why we didn't have more kids," Ellis says, sending a look to her husband. "Why didn't you ask for paternity leave and then take the exam the following session?"

Derek sighs. "He needed me to be there for him at all times. His mother took off and it was just me. He only wanted me." The memories flood freely, then. "At first I started tutoring children in my house, just to get some money and get by, then, when I could leave him with my mother for longer stretches of time, I found a job at a restaurant. The hours were flexible, and it was right across the street from where I lived. David could come and sit in a playpen for as long as he wanted, and he loved it there. It was just easier."

"I see." Ellis' brow furrows. "Why did you want to be a surgeon again, then?"

"I guess the itch of saving lives never went away," he admits. "A woman had a seizure during dinner service one night, and it all rushed back to me. It's not that I didn't love the restaurant anymore, but being a surgeon felt like a good calling. David is old enough to be in school and have a different schedule, so I tried this again. I understand it if you want me to step aside because I'm wasting your time."

"On the contrary," Richard says, beaming. "You're setting up a pretty high bar, Derek. We're very proud of how you settled back in the hospital life."

Derek sighs in relief. "I'm glad to be back, sir."

"In fact, a residency spot opened up. We want to offer it to you." Derek can't believe the words coming out of Dr. Grey's mouth.

Derek stares at Ellis Grey with his eyes wide. "Me?"

"Yes. Obviously, you have to pass your intern exam first. You have two weeks to study up and take the test in my office then; if you pass it, the spot can be yours."

"You have priority over external candidates is what we're saying," Dr. Webber says, a proud smile on his lips.

Derek looks stunned between the two doctors in front of him, trying not to let his jaw hang too loosely. "I'm...Why me?"

"Because you're better than all the other interns we have. And all the prospective residents." Ellis' sincerity blows him away.

He has worked so hard to get here, to be a resident, it almost doesn't feel real.

"Thank you. Thank you so much for this opportunity! I'm not going to fail. I'll make you proud."

"Okay, then. We'll give you all the details for your intern exam tomorrow, but we advise you to study up. Two weeks will pass in a blink of the eye," Richard says, standing up to shake his hand.

Derek firmly accepts the handshake, exiting the office dazed and amazed.

This is it. This is his chance to shine.

* * *

"What do you mean, Daddy?" David questions him as soon as Derek explains the situation.

"Study buddy means that you keep me company when I study, you pick the colors for the flashcards, you hand me snacks and water –"

"Will you be my study buddy?"

"Of course. But you need to learn how to read first."

David giggles, playing with his kinetic sand, keeping himself occupied. It's been quite the day for him in kindergarten too, and he looks a tad overwhelmed. Springing on him this piece of news probably wasn't the best idea, but Derek wants David to know why all of a sudden he's buried in books and not playing with him anymore.

"Daddy, but...if you're going to study lots, can I go play with my friends sometimes?"

Derek chuckles at how sad David looks all of a sudden, almost as if it pains him to leave him alone. "Of course you can, D-Man. In fact, I should probably find you a few friends to play with when I'm not at work."

"No daycare or extra kindy Daddy, please!"

"No daycare or kindergarten."

"And no playing with Jack either." David adds, wide-eyed.

David and Jack connected right away in kindergarten, only Jack is a lot more laid back and relaxed than David, which always makes his son be even more active. That's why Derek tries to limit the playdates the two have, or tries to avoid them altogether if they could end up being longer than two or three hours. It's better if they enjoy their company in limited stretches of time.

"No playing with Jack. Is it okay if your playmate is a girl sometimes?"

"Maybe. If she's nice and doesn't want to just play with dolls."

Derek chuckles at all the limitations, hoping he can figure out the perfect schedule for David to have fun and for him to have uninterrupted hours of learning that are not going to happen in the middle of the night.

* * *

Meredith grimaces at the taste of stale coffee from the attendings' lounge.

Derek Shepherd has spoiled her for almost two weeks, only to leave her high and dry when she actually started to cave. It doesn't bode well for her intern.

She passes right outside her patient's room, and she figures out why her coffee hasn't shown up yet again. Derek is sitting on one of those uncomfortable plastic chairs they always stick in the Neuro wing, his feet propped up on the last railing of the bed, books sprawled all over him, the patient peacefully asleep and unaware of the dead tired doctor at his bedside.

Meredith stares at him for a moment, noticing how handsome he looks, and she forgives him the three missed coffees of the past days in the blink of an eye.

Derek looks beat. Dark circles and bags are clearly visible under his eyes, his hair is unkempt and sticking all over the place, his scrubs are as rumpled as he looks, and yet, he still scores pretty high in the handsome chart.

He's probably going to look handsome for her even in a sack of potatoes, but she glosses over that.

Meredith moves closer, studying the books he was so engrossed in, frowning when she recognizes they are the exact ones she used for her intern exam. She wonders why he's studying so hard when the actual exam is months away.

She clears her throat and wakes him, startling him to the point he almost falls from the chair. He's quick to recompose himself and pretend he was vigilant and awake next to the patient. She cracks a smile at that.

"Morning, Dr. Shepherd."

"Morning, Dr. Grey." He visibly grimaces when he notices she already has coffee in her hands, and from the hospital nonetheless. "Sorry about that."

"What, falling asleep or not bringing my coffee?"

"Both?" He smiles, cocking his head to the side, his eyes still full of sleep, yet sparkling.

"I'm glad I see a very eager intern, that's for sure. Even _I_ hadn't started to study this early for my intern exam."

Another grimace, but this time she can't understand why. "Actually, my intern exam is next week. A residency spot opened up and the Chief said they want to hire me if I pass the test. I'll have to take it next Monday in Dr. Grey's office. Not you Dr. Grey, obviously but…"

She furrows her brow, obviously surprised they've kept the news so quiet. Maybe Richard and her mother didn't want to spread gossip prematurely, in case he fails? She's definitely happy for Derek, though; she's glad he's getting another chance to be a real doctor. He deserves it, David deserves it, and she wants to help.

"If you promise me to keep bringing me coffee so I don't have to drink this stale colored water, I can bargain my winning flashcards with you."

"Coffee for study tips?" Derek looks at her, very surprised.

"I can even come over for private lessons, if you want," she says. "Those were what helped me the most."

"You have special flashcards?"

"Yep. Passed down in generations. So treat them well because Maggie is already counting on those to pass her own exam."

Derek finally laughs, but he still looks a little on edge. Meredith has no idea why she offered to help him, only that it's not a date, but they can still spend time together. She almost misses his quiet presence with his coffees, and she wants to get back to that.

Meredith is not sure what will happen next, only that she really likes Derek, and spending time with him will help her clear her head. Or get to know him to the point that dating will come as second nature, much to his pleasure.

She is a terrible date, but for him she wants to try. She has to.

* * *

 **A/N: Who is excited for the study non-date? *rises both hands***

 **I'm moving this plot slowly, buy I hope you like the slow burn. And you understand why it's so slow. Some things are a mystery, but others are as clear as day.**

 **Also, David is still pretty loveable, isn't he? He's one of my favorite kids I've ever written about, I'm honest. And you know how much I love writing kids!**

 **Thank you again for reading, stay tuned for more, hopefully soonish!**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Welcome back! Everybody was looking forward to the study lesson, well...here it is! It's a little unconventional, but when is our favorite couple conventional?**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 20**

* * *

"Okay, the way you're describing it is _not_ the way the books explain it," Derek says, frowning at Meredith.

Meredith grins as she puts down her special study cards, proudly showing off her studying skills. This is their third study session, but it's the first one that came on a day off for her. She guesses as soon as her mother figured out she was helping Derek study, she synchronized their days off, and she's not complaining.

She arrived to Derek's house around eight in the morning, said hi to David who was out of the door with Carolyn in a flash, and then they started revising Neuro. Now it's the middle of the afternoon and she's looking forward to dinner more than anything. Since lunch was a quick sandwich and Derek promised to cook, she's more than hungry.

"It's not the same as what the books say but what it actually means. That's why my study cards work."

Derek groans, looking adorable as he runs his hand through his unkempt hair. He's still in his pajama pants and t-shirt, his stubble growing more than usual, clearly clueless about the effect that unruly look has on her.

Meredith has wanted to jump Derek from the moment she stepped foot in his house. She's exercising her self-control in a way she wasn't sure she was able to.

"Why don't they say this, instead?"

"Because doctors are supposed to be smart? The intern exam is one of the last times to pick out the good ones. They want it to work."

"God, my head is exploding." Derek groans, running his hands over his face. "I need a break."

"You can start cooking if you want," she says, grinning mischievously.

"Well, the deal was that I should _teach_ you how to cook." It's his turn to smirk, now.

"Oh, boy, this is going to be a disaster."

Derek laughs and she joins him, their bodies relaxing on the couch for a beat. She's been loving how easily they can spend time together without feeling awkward. It never happened to her when in the company of men, and surely not since Finn.

"Okay, what about something easy?"

"Boiling water is tricky for me, Derek."

He snickers. "You can't use a boiler, then?"

Meredith laughs at his smugness, leaning closer to him. She needs to feel his warmth, even though she has no idea why.

"Are you sure you have something simple enough for me to learn?"

"All kinds of pasta are easy to make, Mere."

She feels a shiver at the smile he gives her. "Fine," she says, huffing in mock annoyance.

"Okay, so I have zucchini and shrimp, this is what we'll make."

He stands up with a purpose, opening cabinets and taking out stuff, then the fridge, taking out more stuff. For Meredith, it all seems like a lot of ingredients.

"Let's start by boiling the water, okay?"

He directs her to the right cabinet to pick out a pot, then switches on the stove as they cover the pot and wait for the water to boil.

"You know how to wash the zucchini, right?" he asks, more teasing in his tone.

She rolls her eyes, stealing the zucchini from him, then opening the faucet in the sink. She _accidentally_ sprays him with water, and he laughs loudly.

"You're messy," he says, laughing again. "Okay. Cut off the ends now, then cut them into cubes."

Meredith cuts off the ends of the first zucchini, then watches as Derek slices it in the middle, then again into smaller sticks, before he produces perfect cubes. He hands her the huge chef's knife, and even though she wields scalpels on a daily basis, she feels unsure about handling this kind of blade.

His gentle voice guides her through the process, and she lets him. She finds his tone really soothing and warm, so much that he could read her the Yellow Pages and she'd be happy anyway.

As soon as the zucchini are all cut up, they proceed with the shrimp, checking if they are defrosted enough. He told her they could do it with fresh ones, but he usually keeps the frozen ones handy at all times.

Derek lets her pour oil in a pan, throwing in a garlic clove. He tells her to wait until the garlic is golden before putting in the zucchini, but she has no idea what he means. He laughs in abandon, but tells her the right time to throw in the vegetables.

One minute later, when the zucchini is sizzling, they throw in the shrimp.

"Now stir. Often, but not too often."

Meredith executes, marveling at how vague the directions are. "How can you do it?"

"Stirring?" he asks, a smile on his face.

"Cooking. I mean, surgery is all about precision and schedules and perfection, this is...not. You just know the steps and throw in random stuff."

"David." His smile blossoms at the mere mention of his son, and she feels a twinge in her heart. "He taught me how to be less uptight and let loose. I already enjoyed cooking, but after having David it gave me time to think and relax. That's why I applied for the job at the restaurant."

"So, how do you know how to get this right, if it's all vague?" She stirs the shrimp, looking up to meet his twinkling eyes afterward.

"You practice and practice and practice. Just like surgery."

"How many times have you cooked this?"

"At least every other day for four years."

Meredith giggles, stirring again, noticing that the water is boiling. Derek throws in a handful of sea salt, letting it settle again before he pours the linguine.

"This also goes with spaghetti or tagliatelle, but this is the easiest."

"Okay?" She giggles, and he laughs as well, instructing to stir the pasta, now.

They lower the flame under the sauce, throwing in some heavy cream. The smell is delicious.

"This is the fun part," Derek says, grinning. "When you do this at home, just stir it again with the wooden spoon, leave this for the experts."

He grins smugly as he drains the pasta, then pours it into the pan with the sauce. He switches the flame to medium-high, then starts flipping the pasta in the pan. Meredith is mesmerized and also a little freaked by the fact that not one string of linguine is out of the pan by the time he's satisfied with the results.

"Yep, I'm not doing _that_ anytime soon."

Derek laughs, dividing the portions and putting them on two plates, then they sit down at the island. He gets two glasses of white wine and pours some for her. When he puts the [glass] down in front of her, his hand lingers on her shoulder, squeezing it gently. She almost expected a kiss on top of her head, but it never comes.

When she tastes the pasta, Meredith can't believe she actually made it with him.

"Good job, Mere," he says, warming her heart. "I'll hire you as my sous chef next time I'm cooking for more than six people."

Meredith laughs, his eyes dancing in the light of the kitchen. He reaches for her hand, squeezing it, and she closes her eyes to savor it.

"Thank you for helping me with the study cards. I really needed it."

She smiles, squeezing his hand back. "Thank you for teaching me how to cook."

"There's a lot you still have to learn, so...anytime."

His smile is so beautiful she can't help it. She leans in and kisses his lips.

For a second, Derek is taken aback, then he kisses her back with everything he has. She knows she's not supposed to kiss him, that he's better off without her, but she can't help herself. The man has a charm she can't resist. And he's very eager to kiss her, too.

When they both pull away, they're glad dinner is over, because there's nothing else they want to do but kiss some more.

Derek stands up and leans down to capture her lips again, enveloping her in his arms, their whole bodies involved in the kiss. Meredith tangles her hands in his hair, getting lost in him. He smells good and his pajamas are so soft, compared to how firm and solid the rest of his body feels. Derek grounds her in the moment, and time falls away.

They both need to catch their breaths when they pull away, their eyes sparkling, their cheeks rosy. Derek lets out a little chuckle, his gaze slightly unfocused.

"Wanna move this somewhere else?" His voice is husky, but still doubtful. It almost makes Meredith want to laugh. Of course she wants to move this somewhere else, unless he's okay with christening his precious kitchen.

That wouldn't be so bad, after all…

Before she can suggest anything though, the door slams open, and David comes in, stomping his feet, a frown on his face, as Carolyn follows behind, a very apologetic look on her face.

Derek's face morphs from dazed to alert in the span of a few seconds.

"Hey, David," he says, greeting the little boy. David only replies with a grunt.

"Grocery shopping was too much," Carolyn whispers only for Derek to hear, but apparently David has crazy good hearing, because he glares at his grandmother in a way that Meredith had no idea he could do at six.

"Hi, David. Did you have dinner already?"

"Hi, Meredith," he says, then he doesn't say much else. He disappears into the living room, and Meredith clearly hears him slumping on the couch.

"I'm sorry I brought him home, I was going to ask you if he could spend the night so you could keep studying, but I don't think it's a good idea now." Carolyn sighs in apology.

"I do need the break, Ma, don't worry." Derek's brilliant smile and twinkling eyes have disappeared, replaced by a veil of tiredness and sadness. She wants to take it all away. "I'm sorry he had a bad day."

"It wasn't a bad day, just...a little overwhelming in the end."

"Why is he so angry?"

"He was running to get me and hit a shelf. A few jars of jam fell and everybody was just crowding him, trying to check if he was okay or hurt or cut. His only problem was the fact that he was covered in slimy stuff." Derek sighs loudly after hearing his mother's story. "I gave him a change of clothes and I'll wash the rest, but you know how much he loves that shirt."

"Yeah, I know," Derek says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"It was all downhill from there."

"I'll take care of it," Derek says with finality, exhaling loudly. "You can go home if you want, not much studying will be done tonight," Derek tells Meredith then, a sad look on his face. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry, I'll help you clean up the dishes first, you go take care of David." Her voice is soft, and while part of her is disappointed they won't get to continue what the kissing started, mostly she's relieved Derek might know what to do to calm David. The little boy looks still so wired that getting him into bed will be impossible.

"Thank you," he murmurs, then he disappears.

"I can finish up in the kitchen," Carolyn says, looking weary.

"It's not a problem. It's the least I could do after he fed me." Meredith manages a small smile that loosens Carolyn's wrinkles. The woman in front of her suddenly looks so old.

"I'll be on my way home, then. Tell Derek I'll see him tomorrow."

"Okay. Goodnight, and I'm sorry David gave you a hard time."

"It was important for Derek to be here studying, the rest doesn't matter."

Meredith is fascinated by the older woman's selflessness and wonders if that's what being a mother is all about. Deep down in her heart, she knows that's true.

Meredith quietly starts cleaning up the pots and pans, trying to fit as much as possible in the dishwasher. Muffled, but high-pitched voices keep coming from the living room, until there's a louder shout, and Derek reappears. Now he looks weary, too.

She wipes up her hands on a dishcloth and reaches for him, hugging him tightly. Derek sags into her hold, his face slumping between her neck and shoulder. He doesn't feel as solid as he did less than an hour ago.

"I smell like cooking, apparently."

Meredith lets out a smile, realizing that he kinda does. "What does he need?"

"A burrito hug and lots of sleep. But until he's still so wired up, he'll never relax."

"Does he have any calming smells that might work?"

"No idea. I'm blanking out."

Meredith gives him a firm squeeze, before she releases him. "Can I try?"

"Go ahead," Derek says, sounding completely lost.

Meredith approaches the living room quietly, and her heart breaks at the sight of David curled up in fetal position, his chin over his knees, as he stares into the blank TV.

"Meri, can you make a burrito with me?" he whispers, as soon as his eyes meet hers.

Meredith gives him a soft smile, approaching him quietly. "Of course I can."

"Do you smell bad like Daddy?"

"I hope not. I should smell like dish soap, now."

"You usually smell like a flower, I like it." David's hold on himself loosens as Meredith sits down.

"It's lavender. I love lavender, too."

David sniffs the air around Meredith, and she smiles softly. She truly hopes she doesn't smell like sweat or anything that might make David feel uncomfortable.

Before she can ask anything, David is crawling towards her lap, his whole body deflating.

"Burrito?" she asks in confirmation, and he nods.

"Also with the blanket. I need it super tight," he says, reaching for the flannel blanket on the armrest next to her. Meredith wraps the little boy into the blanket, and he gives her the smallest of giggles. "No, silly, you have to be in the blanket burrito, too!"

Meredith smiles as well, laying the boy over her chest, before wrapping the both of them into the blanket. It's not cold enough for a blanket in here, but she doesn't care.

David sighs loudly as she tightens her arms around him under the blanket, and he rests his nose in the crook of her neck, right above her collarbone.

"Did you have a bad day today?" Meredith whispers, her tone trying to be as soothing as possible. David looks pretty wiped from the latest ordeal.

"It was good until we got to the store. I had jam _all over me_ ," he says, his tone grave and serious.

"I'm so sorry, David."

"I like jam, but it's so sticky."

"Yeah, that's true," she murmurs, and the boy snuggles against her.

"I'm glad Nana got me my pajamas. I like pajamas," David says, then he adds with a giggle: "Daddy is still in his pajamas, too." Meredith smiles as well.

"He was wearing pajamas _all_ day."

"You were inside the house all day? Cause pajamas are for inside only and special 'casions. Like when I flew on a plane, I had pajamas on."

"Yep, we stayed in the house all day." Meredith pretends to be bummed about it.

"Daddy said you were coming over to help him study. Like a playdate, but with books."

"Something like that, yes."

"You know stuff he doesn't know?"

"Yes, I know surgery."

"But he's very smart. He knows a lot of things!"

"That he does."

"That means you're the smarterest!" David peeks out from the blanket to look into her eyes, awestruck.

"Your daddy knows things I don't know, he's very smart too."

"What things?"

"Like cooking. I'm terrible at cooking and he's very, very good at it. He was teaching me how to make dinner before you came."

"He cooks yummy things."

"Do you like the shrimp and zucchini pasta?"

"Mmm...If there's more zucchini." David giggles, and Meredith pulls him close. "What did you do with my daddy, then? Just reading lots?"

And kissing him senseless, Meredith wants to add, but it's not the appropriate response. "Yeah, lots of reading and quizzing. And then dinner."

"That's a boring playdate."

"Well, adults are boring most of the time," Meredith says, winking. David giggles, loosening his hold. Now he's simply resting on top of her, and Meredith is glad he's not too heavy to do this, yet.

There's a sense of accomplishment in being so close to him when not even Derek can, but also peace and tranquillity. It's a very odd feeling, that brings her to a time forever ago. Her breath hitches in her chest and she stops breathing for a second. Her arms tighten around David and he looks up at her with a million questions in his eyes.

"I gotta apologize to Nana when I see her again. I was a really bad boy. And Daddy too," he murmurs, lowering his gaze.

"That's a good idea," Meredith manages to croak, unable to swallow the lump in her throat.

"Meri, are you okay?"

"Of course, Davy."

"Cause you felt like a mommy before but now you're all tight around me."

"I felt like a m-mommy?" she stammers, unable to help herself.

"I dunno how a mommy feels like, but when I askeded Daddy what having a mommy feels like, he said that it feels very safe and warm, and that you always have someone to go to when you're hurt or scared. He said it's like having a daddy, but different. Mommies are softer."

"Oh." Meredith is breathless, and she tries not to burst into tears.

"Are you a mommy, Meredith? Cause you feel like a mommy."

"I'm not your mommy," she chokes out.

"I know that, silly!" David smiles. "I mean, somebody's mommy."

"I used to be, yes." The truth slips out of her, and makes David's eyes widen. They look so blue, and so much like Derek's.

"You never stop being a mommy, Meredith. Nana is still Daddy's mommy even now that he's all grown up. Where is your baby? Is he a grown-up too?"

"My baby died when he was very, very little," she whispers, her voice cracking.

"How little?"

"He was just a baby."

"How big?"

"Not big at all. Just a newborn."

"That's a real tiny baby. My auntie Lizzie had my baby cousin and she was very tiny. My hands are small but the baby has teeny tiny hands!"

"My baby had very tiny hands, too." Meredith sighs, and a tear slips down her cheek.

"Meri, you're still the baby's mommy, though. That doesn't change. My Pops is still my Pops even if he died, and Daddy still calls him his daddy. It doesn't change."

"You're right." Meredith swallows thickly.

"So this is why you feel like a mommy," David says, smiling, but then he becomes more serious again. "Do you think you can share some of your mommy with me, too?"

"Oh, David, of course," she murmurs, squeezing him even more tightly, closing her eyes as she buries her nose into his growing hair.

She pretends, for a few seconds, that this child is her child, and she wonders how amazing it would be to be holding him. To be able to kiss his cheeks and scold him when he does something wrong. She feels robbed of a life she wasn't even sure she wanted until it was gone.

"Thank you, Meri, for being my pretend mommy."

Meredith doesn't say anything, but her heart aches and swells with joy at the same time. She just holds David tightly, rubbing his back, since she allows him to, feeling his body slacken. She looks at the clock and notices that it's a little after nine, already past his bedtime.

She truly doesn't mind rocking him to sleep.

So Meredith does just that, and she has no idea how long she remains there, David on top of her, almost asleep, as she runs her hand back and forth or round and around on his back. It feels like hours before Derek comes checking on them and his eyes are full of love. She's too tired to pretend they're not.

"Want me to move him?" he asks in a whisper, a gentle, loving smile on his face.

Meredith shakes her head. "Not yet. Unless you wanna take over."

"I kinda do. I even showered for that."

Meredith smiles softly, sitting up, trying not to wake David. She makes room for Derek on the other end of the couch, then passes the little boy to him. It takes Derek – and David – a few moments to settle, but it's an easy, almost practiced transition.

"Daddy?" David mumbles into Derek's shirt as Meredith wraps the two of them in the blanket she was using.

"Yes, that's me, D-Man."

"Sorry."

"Oh, it's okay, David," Derek murmurs, kissing the top of his head softly. David just snuggles against him.

"Meri said she can share some of her mommy with me," David says, sleepiness and excitement in his tone.

Derek looks at Meredith puzzled, and she just shakes her head, pretending cluelessness. She needs to tell him at some point, but not tonight.

For tonight she'll just look at him and David, wrapped in a blanket, as she sits on the other end of the couch, not regretting the fact that David is here for one bit. She should run, again, but it feels too big, too meaningful to do so. And she's pretty sure being a pretend mommy implies staying there.

* * *

 **A/N: That was a bit more than you were expecting, right? I dropped hints here and there, and you're still in the dark about a few things, but some of Meredith's past is coming to light. What a past, eh?**

 **The recipe is legit, by the way, is anyone needs inspiration for their lunch/dinner today! You can ask for more details if you need to, but it's definitely good, trust me.**

 **Now, Derek will know about Meredith's baby, just not right in this second. She's still trying to build up the courage to tell him, and she's not quite there yet. Soon, but not now. Keep the faith! And thank you for reading!**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Welome back! I still get random reviews from time to time, encouraging me to update. So, even if this is the last banked chapter I have, I'm still gonna do it. Hopefully it will tide you over until the next one. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 21**

* * *

Derek stares at the sealed envelope with his test results in apprehension, studying its texture closely.

It's a miracle that the results only took three days to get back to him, but he suspects it's because he was the only one taking the test in the first place.

Maybe Ellis Grey herself went over his mistakes and marked his results. The thought makes him shudder, because the first person he wants to tell about his test results is no other than Ellis' daughter.

Derek doesn't know if it's because Meredith helped him study or because he needs to kiss her senseless again, maybe finally figure out a moment to be really alone, without any David interruptions. He doesn't even know what they're doing beyond kissing, if they can even have a definition, but he wants to find her and open the envelope with her by his side.

Ridiculous? He's aware of that, but he can't help himself.

He's loitering out of her office, the envelope in his hands, a chart on his lap, pretending to work as he waits for Meredith. She had a surgery scheduled and she should be done any minute, so he hopes he can steal her from the busy hospital life for a bit. Maybe open the envelope and steal a kiss or two, that would brighten his day tenfold.

"Hey, Shepherd," a voice calls, and he turns to see Cristina Yang, a quizzical look on her face. "Is it true that you're now a resident?"

"Maybe," he says, brandishing the envelope with the results. "Can't bring myself to open this."

"Well, if your test was crap you're still an intern, right?"

"I guess." He shrugs.

"Then what's the problem?"

Her pager beeps, making Cristina huff. "Old man needs his tubes changed every other hour. Hope you're done with this bullshit soon."

She disappears before he can thank her for giving him perspective, and Derek remains sitting on the floor, fidgeting with the envelope in his hands.

When his eyes lift up again, Meredith is coming down the corridor and she looks wiped. He stands up and gathers his chart, trying to appear less of a hobo.

"Dr. Shepherd," she says, her tone flat and tired. She still manages to look beautiful, though.

"Dr. Grey, can I speak to you for a minute? In private?"

Meredith sighs, but her eyes soften. "Of course, Dr. Shepherd."

She opens her office for him and he gets in, as she closes the door with a soft click. Her office is quiet and cozy, and he smiles at how relaxing it looks. A little impersonal, he has to admit, but he can see traces of Meredith there.

Meredith gives him a look as she collapses on her chair, almost as if she's inviting him to sit as well. He keeps standing, though.

"Are you okay?" He feels compelled to ask, since she looks done for the day, and it's barely after lunch.

"Just a long surgery. It was touch-and-go for too long, but luckily the guy is gonna pull through."

"I'm glad," he murmurs, fidgeting with the envelope.

Meredith stares at him expectantly, knowing he's not there to check up on her.

"I have my intern test results," he blurts, and her eyes widen. "I can't bring myself to open the envelope."

Meredith gives him the very first genuine smile of the day. "It doesn't bite."

"Now you sound like my mom." Derek rolls his eyes, but so does Meredith, and they chuckle together.

"Derek, you'll be fine even if you haven't passed the test."

"I know, I just…"

"Yeah," she says, her smile soft again. Derek just wants to kiss her at this point, who cares about the results. "Open the envelope."

Derek sighs, then slides a finger under the upper flap, trying to rip the paper as carefully as possible. It crinkles loudly in the silence of the office, making the expectations grow. He takes out the sheet of paper and unfolds it slowly, reading each line as carefully as possible, his heart hammering in his chest.

"What does it say?" Meredith asks, now sounding like an impatient David.

"I made it. Ninety-seven percent of the answers correct." Derek's smile blooms, so does Meredith's.

"Congratulations!" she exclaims, then she wraps him in a tight hug.

At first, Derek just squeezes her as he would squeeze anyone else, but then they both loosen their grips and just stay wrapped in the embrace, enjoying the closeness.

The sense of empowerment and yet fear threatens to overwhelm him, but as long as Meredith is in his arms he's grounded; he knows he can't fail.

Meredith slides her nose in the crook of his neck and breathes him in, so Derek does just the same, going bolder and letting his lips touch her flesh. She shivers, nuzzling him, and her smile is imprinted on his chest.

"I knew you would ace it," she murmurs, and he can feel her breath seep through his scrub top. She's warm and soft against him, and he doesn't want to let go. She seems very reluctant to let go of him as well.

"I owe you one, Mere." She shakes her head and shrugs, but he doesn't let her. "I'm serious, you were a huge help. You kept me focused."

Meredith snickers. "Really? You spent half the time making dirty jokes. Or trying to seduce me."

Derek chuckles. "Well, I was still paying attention."

"Looks like it." Her giggle is melodious.

"Let me take you out to dinner and celebrate as a thank you."

She stiffens in his arms. "Derek, –"

"As friends. As my mentor." He's quick to clarify this, because he can see in her face how much it scares her to have a date with him. A real date. He thought he could bribe her with food and convince her it was a good idea, but she still needs boundaries.

Yet, he's not backing out.

"Please."

Meredith sighs as he stares at her, trying to convince her with a gaze. He can see her caving, but she's not quite there yet.

He begs her again, slightly pulling away from her, only to lunge forward and capture her lips in a kiss. She's stunned for a second, but she quickly becomes an eager participant right after.

It's a soft kiss, a beggar's kiss, slow and gentle. Derek knows he has dismantled all her resolutions when they pull away.

"That was cheating," she murmurs, licking her lips, her eyes shining with glee.

"I know. I perfectly knew what I was doing."

Meredith giggles, her eyes shimmering under the neon lights. "Fine."

"You're coming to dinner, then?"

"Tonight. And no fancy places."

Derek grins. "I know the perfect place you can show up in jeans and they won't mind."

"Okay then. Yes. But you're picking me up."

Derek laughs. "Of course. I'm still a gentleman, even if I'm not your date."

She smacks his shoulder and he keeps chuckling, interrupted only by her teasing kiss.

"Thank you, Mer."

She gives him a non-committal smile. "You promised food."

More laughter ensues.

* * *

Meredith stares at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, sighing. She doesn't like how her hair dried after her shower, and she's not entirely sure make up was a good idea. Well, it's light makeup, but it still feels like she's going on a date.

Which she kinda is.

They keep pretending it's not, but they're doing date-y things, so it could easily be labeled as a date. Much to her chagrin.

Dates don't end well in her book. They either end in a one-night-stand, when the guy just doesn't want to see her anymore, or they end before dessert. And dessert is her favorite part.

She's shaking in anticipation. If they don't get to the dessert with Derek, she's screwed. He's the only man who has even remotely cared about her since Finn – and she's not even sure Finn really cared in the first place. If she screws this up, she'll have to see him anyway, for David's sake, and it will be awkward at best. Yet, she doesn't want to put pressure on them and simply wants to get to know him, aside from being David's father or her intern-now-resident. She wants to know Derek Shepherd the man.

The man that brings her flowers when she opens the door for him.

"I should be the one giving you presents, Derek."

Derek laughs, even before saying hello. He says hello by kissing her quickly anyway, right there on her threshold.

Her old neighbor is gonna have a field day with this, if she's spying from the peephole.

"If I can unwrap you tonight, that will be enough of a present."

Her eyes widen, and he almost blushes, apparently caught off-guard by his own forwardness, too. She giggles at him, telling him that it's fine even without saying anything.

"It's not a date, so there are high chances of me remaining wrapped, Derek." She teases him, because they both know that they've been bolder and bolder in each kiss they have shared. It is fun to tease, though.

"A man can hope."

She giggles, studying the beautiful bunch of lavender and calla lilies, together with some greenery.

"David had some input in this. Apparently, I looked lost, so my mother gave me a shopping companion."

Meredith laughs. David clearly remembers her favorite scent, and it warms up her heart. She has no idea how or when it happened, but now she knows she loves that boy.

"Thank you, they're beautiful."

She puts the beautiful bouquet in a vase with water, then grabs her purse, checking if she has everything, before Derek leads her to his car.

Meredith marvels at how neat and clean it is, even with the booster seat in the back. She's not sure if he always keeps his car this clean or he just did the extra mile to please her; either way, she appreciates it.

The drive to the restaurant is punctuated by the mellow sounds of the radio and the softness of Derek's questions as he asks about her day and her surgery and her paperwork. She keeps up with the small talk, which strangely feels all that more meaningful when it's done with him.

When he parks, she recognizes the neighborhood, though she's never actually been to the restaurant they see glittering on the other side of the road.

"Before we go in, I need to tell you something." Derek's tone has a hint of apprehension, and she creases her brow. "This is the restaurant I used to work at, after I had David. I hope it's okay we're going there."

Meredith's heart warms up. "Of course. I've always wanted to come here."

She can almost see him breathe a sigh of relief and she smiles.

The cross the street and walk to the restaurant together. He's almost holding her hand, but he manages to keep an inch of distance, which she appreciates and hates at the same time. There are a lot of conflicting emotions in her head tonight.

When they walk inside, the hostess beams at them.

"Derek!" she blurts, her hazel eyes glittering in recognition. "It's so good to see you!"

"Hey, Carla, how are you?" Derek asks, hugging her briefly. "How's Mateo?"

"Growing up way too fast. He's already two. What about David?"

"Same. But also still the same rambunctious boy you remember, don't worry."

Carla laughs. "I didn't see your name on the reservation list."

"That's because I used Grey." He looks really smug of his trick, and luckily Carla rolls her eyes. "This is my co-worker and mentor Dr. Meredith Grey. We're celebrating my intern test. She helped me study and pass it."

"With flying colors, if I might say. Nice to meet you, Carla." Meredith adds, shaking the woman's hand. She has a gentle smile that Meredith likes very much.

Carla studies her, almost as if she's gauging the relationship between her and Derek, and it's almost as if she knows they're faking a non-date. Meredith blushes slightly, Derek is still oblivious, though.

Carla leads them to the far end of the restaurant, near the window, in a space that looks almost like a nook. They can see the waterfront from here, and she's loving all the twinkling lights and the ferryboats in the near distance.

"This is why you love ferryboats," Meredith blurts, as soon as they sit down.

Derek smiles. "Also because of this restaurant, yes."

Their server, Monty, greets Derek with a pat on the back and a complex handshake, and Meredith smiles as she sees him interact with the young man. Monty looks like a college student, and yet he's very attentive as he places the waters and menus in front of them. It feels like a formality, since Meredith is sure Derek can recite the menu by heart anyway.

"Derek, tell me something about you," she blurts, as soon as she has studied the menu long enough.

"What?"

"Something, anything. I feel like we always talk about me. And I can blabber when I want to so, yeah. Something about you. Like your grandparents' names or where did your spend your summer vacations as a kid. I don't even know your favorite color or flavor of ice cream, and I know that about your son! I feel like I know next to nothing about you."

He chuckles, but he seems to be thinking about it, and then they are interrupted by Monty taking their orders. Meredith is almost glad they did, because that sounded as if she were begging him, and she doesn't want to seem so desperate. She could have definitely phrased this one better.

"I don't have grandparents anymore, they all died before I was done with college. My mom's maiden name is Maloney. I have four sisters, nine nieces, and five nephews. I like coffee ice cream, single malt scotch, occasionally a good cigar; I like to fly-fish and I cheat when I do the crossword puzzle on Sundays. I never dance in public. Favorite novel: _The Sun Also Rises_ ; favorite band: _The Clash_. Favorite color is blue; I don't like light blue, indigo. See the scar right here on my forehead? That's why I don't ride motorcycles anymore. And –"

She feels tears come to her eyes. "Derek…"

"Too much?" He grins, his eyes sparkling.

"I wasn't trying to ambush you or anything, I just –"

"I get it, Mere. It's the reason why we're not calling this a date. We need time to get to know each other, and this is me, trying."

"Thank you," she murmurs, still overwhelmed.

She's beyond glad the food comes as soon as silence settles on their table. After that she's too engrossed to enjoy the delicious Italian delicacies to ask him about anything else.

"What do you think?" Derek asks, halfway through his plate of his pesto gnocchi.

"Do they deliver to Seattle Grace?" She laughs, teasing him. "I could eat this for the rest of my life and never get bored."

"Well, if they don't deliver, I can deliver." He looks shy when he says it, but his eyes have that glimmer in them that just about kills her every time. It's the glimmer that says that he wouldn't mind cooking for her for the rest of their lives, and it makes her shiver.

She lets the subject drop, trying to ignore how tight her chest is, and yet how warm and safe she feels at the same time. She should probably learn how to live with this feeling, because he seems to be a master in making her feel this way.

Derek seems to sense her mood shift because he starts telling her funny stories about his time at the restaurant, especially the ones involving David, to put her at ease again. It works on her like a charm, and it never marvels her how in tune he is with her. She wonders if learning how to read David taught him to read other people too.

"May I offer you some dessert?" Monty says, and Derek shares a look with her that makes her blush.

"Of course. I'm pretty sure I'm picking the coffee mousse, though. What about you, Meredith?"

Monty lists all the desserts they have tonight, apologizing that they ran out of apple pie; Meredith is not worried though, since she's undecided between the chocolate cake and the tiramisù.

"Derek?"

"I suggest the chocolate cake," he says, winking. "Izzie Stevens, one of the interns, keeps bribing me with surgeries to get her the recipe. It's that good."

Meredith almost salivates at the idea, and grins when she spots Monty nodding along Derek's statement. So she trusts Derek. "Then chocolate cake it is."

And when it gets there, looking fabulously covered and filled and made of chocolate, she's ready to cry. Chocolate cake is exactly what she needs tonight after her long surgery.

They'd better deliver this to her office, who cares how much it costs.

Meredith moans at the rich, decadent taste of the first morsel, and of course Derek laughs at her. She doesn't care though, she digs her way through the whole slice. And it's a big slice. Big enough that in spite of the marvel that is that cake, she can't eat anymore. She's stuffed.

"Thank you, Derek. This was probably one of the most delicious meals I've ever had."

Derek beams. "Thank _you_ , for coming. These guys really know what they're doing."

"I can't believe you were one of them."

"Sometimes I can't believe it either."

Meredith smiles, figuring it's time for his present now. Honestly, she didn't want to give him anything, but when she walked by the hospital gift shop, it seemed to call her name.

She fishes out a square, silver box from her purse. It's slightly bigger than her hand, with a blue bow on it. Derek is almost blushing when he looks up.

"Meredith, –"

"Don't even start. This gift had your name on it."

Derek grins, slowly opening the box. He laughs when he picks out the first of the two similar objects.

"Scrub caps?"

Meredith smiles. "Yeah. Well, this one...it's kinda obvious why I picked it, isn't it?" she says, pointing at the one he's holding. The scrub cap is littered with all shapes of pasta on a dark blue background.

Derek laughs, looking around. It slowly fizzles out as he picks out the other item in the box.

"Ferryboats?" he murmurs, his eyes flickering for a moment at the real ferryboats out of the window.

"Yeah. I know you love them, also because they remind you of David."

"That's...I love these, Meredith."

"Maybe you'll have to wait until you're a little higher on the surgical food chain to wear those, but nothing can stop you from wearing them in the skills lab. Or playing pretend with David."

Derek smiles, touching both fabrics with reverence. "Thank you so much. You really didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to, just like you wanted to take me out to dinner. Or buy me flowers."

Derek smiles. "Fair enough."

Monty comes to clear the table and they reluctantly ask for the check. It's been one of the best nights of her life, and she doesn't want it to end now.

"Let's get coffee at my place," she proposes, and Derek smiles. "As long as you don't have to relieve a babysitter."

"Don't worry, David is with my mom. He was in kindergarten full time this week and I had a bit more free time after my test, so I think she was missing her grandbaby. She'd be happy to keep him a little longer."

Meredith smiles at that, too. She hasn't seen David in a couple of weeks, and she misses seeing him, too. Maybe he grew an inch or two since she last saw him, that's how long it feels like she has seen the boy.

She tries not to talk about David, though. She wants this night to be about Meredith and Derek.

After they've – well, Derek, really – paid their check, Derek makes a production of quickly introducing her to all the waiters, waitresses and kitchen staff. She can't stay long, since they're obviously busy, but she's glad she had the chance to meet Derek's old co-workers. She would love to get to know them better and figure out the person Derek was when he wasn't a surgeon.

They decide to take a quick walk along the waterfront before they head back to her place. She boldly grasps his hand in hers and doesn't let go. Derek looks delighted at the idea of walking hand in hand with her. He does like to show her off, even if she's not his girlfriend.

Maybe, after this beautiful evening, she should think about labels.

Not tonight though. Tonight she wants to be there, in the moment, with Derek.

The walk is quick, since the breeze from the marina is a little too strong for their light jackets, but they don't mind. They know the evening is far from ended.

The car ride is almost like a coffee moka for their emotions. The flame was low and burning for the entire length of dinner, but now the coffee is rising and spilling over, sputtering and steaming. That's why she pulls Derek into a kiss as soon as they've walked inside her apartment.

It reminds her of the very first time they had sex, but it feels so much different. The passion is still there, but there's something more as he pins her to the wall and keeps kissing her, his hands ready to explore.

"Meredith," he murmurs against her lips, as if this was his way to ask her permission, or gauge if he should stop. She kisses him even more deeply and sheds him of his jacket to tell him that he should definitely keep going.

They skip over the couch, but they linger for a while on the wall of the hall between the kitchen and her bedroom. She's pretty sure they're going to seal the deal here, but Derek only teases her into a frenzy that makes her knees wobble. Luckily, he's there to hold her up.

They're both naked by then, their clothes creating a trail from her front door to just a few steps behind them, and she's not sure what he's waiting for.

Almost to urge him along, she wraps her hand around him, while she keeps her other tangled in his hair. He grunts, kissing a trail down her neck, but he still doesn't ask for entrance.

"Derek. Der –"

He ignores her moans, using his own teasing fingers instead. When he's done with her, she cannot stand anymore. He's still tense and ready, so she revels in the knowledge that there's more coming for her.

"Bed. I wanna do this in bed," Derek says, his voice gruff but soft, tense with unreleased energy and self-control. His hips keep swaying against her thigh, almost as if all the self-control is slipping out of him.

She leads him to her bedroom and grabs a condom from her drawer before they can collapse in a heap of limbs over her sheets. Her bed is still unmade, but she couldn't care less. Heck, in this case it's almost more practical.

Derek lets her place the condom over him, and she does some teasing of her own. Derek's body is tense and he looks so focused his brow is already sweaty. Yet, he manages to regain control and pin her to the mattress, before he finally slides home.

And it does feel like home. Especially as soon as he stops to just stare at her, his burning gaze filling her just as much as his body.

"God," he grunts when he's unable to stand still anymore, his hips joining hers.

He starts a deep, slow rhythm that makes her breathless and touches her in all the right places. Yet, she's too far behind compared to him, after already coming undone twice against the wall. He tries speeding up his movements, but it only speeds up his release.

He grunts and groans and twitches over her, murmuring apologies against her skin. He keeps applying pressure to her favorite nerves though, as soon as he regains some semblance of control over his body, and she's quick to get to her peak again.

Derek lets her surf along the wave of oblivion for a while, minutes that feel like hours as she slowly loses control of her body. Even if he's slipped out of her, his fingers are still working and she can still feel him all over, connected to her. She flails and flails and flails, until she can finally get off the cliff, her third freefall so glorious it turns into a fourth thanks to Derek's persistence.

When she can breathe regularly again, they're both sprawled on her sheets, spent. Derek reaches to cradle her close, and she snuggles against him, her body barely responding to commands.

And this is the moment she loves, when they're in each other's embrace, the rest of the world falling away.

* * *

 **A/N: Well, is this how you envisioned this chapter to end? Me neither. These characters have a mind of their own.**

 **I hope you've enjoyed this! Thank you for reading!**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Hello, readers, it's me! I'm still alive! I've had a busy couple of weeks since I moved from New York to Minnesota and I'm still trying to settle in. This summer has been a busy one and I apologize for not updating sooner. I know summer is a good time for everybody to read, but I always seem to have a million things going on every summer.**

 **Now, onto the story...not much to say, aside from ENJOY!**

* * *

 **Chapter 22**

* * *

Meredith decides that she should keep dating Derek if only for the morning-after breakfast.

She's eating a feast at six-thirty in the morning, and he doesn't even look bothered by that. Derek is making her pancakes from scratch, and they're divine. Anything this man whips up is divine, and she is definitely adding this quality to the plus column in his favor for dating.

There are a lot of points in favor so far, and the ready-made pancake mix in a ketchup bottle in his fridge is not even the highest on the list.

Of course, her pager interrupts the moment of bliss, sending her to work prematurely, but not before a long, passionate kiss from Derek.

She's flustered all the way to Seattle Grace.

Being in the ER and dealing with her emergency page though grounds her again, and by the time lunch rolls around, she's ready to sit down in her office and take a nap.

Except, when she swings open the office door, she sees a mop of curly, dark hair sitting in the guest chair.

"There you are. That surgery was endless!"

Meredith smiles at Maggie, dropping on her own chair. "Tell me about it. That guy really, really wanted to die."

"What happened?"

"Fell from the second story of his building, most likely suicide. He's still alive, even though he has a long way before a full recovery."

"Seems like it was quite the surgery, you look dead on your feet."

"Yeah," Meredith says, hoping she's not blushing. Half of the tiredness is definitely not due to the surgery. That night before has stretched for quite long, not that she's complaining.

"Uh oh, Meri. Who kept you up last night?" Maggie teases, clearly reading straight through her.

"Just a case," Meredith says, hoping she can sound nonchalant enough. From the way Maggie is smirking, she has failed spectacularly.

"Does that case have piercing blue eyes and incredible hair? Maybe a son named David?"

Meredith can't help the smile. "Maybe."

"Oh, my God! Are you two a couple now?"

"I...I honestly don't know. We kind of had a date last night, but we didn't call it a date. We just celebrated him becoming a resident."

"Yeah, of course," Maggie shrugs, her teasing smile the clear sign she doesn't believe a word Meredith is saying.

"It's not that simple, Mags. He has a son."

"You like the kid. I don't see the problem there." Maggie shrugs, and Meredith tries not to roll her eyes for too long. She wishes it were that simple. "What, are you already in love?"

"Of course not!" Meredith blurts, but it sounds bitter in her mouth.

Could she love Derek already? They only had sex twice, a kind of non-date, and shared a few kisses. It can't be love, can it?

"If you say so," Maggie smirks.

It is time for Meredith to hide her feelings better, then, before she spills the beans to Derek prematurely. And she has to come to terms with the fact that she's in love first – if she even _is_ in love in the first place – before she even says anything to him. She has to.

"Look, I'm not good at love, and you know it. Not after Finn, surely not after what happened. It will end tragically," Meredith says, not sure who is she trying to convince of that.

Maggie only gives her a look. "What if you try it out, then? If it ends, it ends. But maybe it won't. You deserve happiness, Meredith."

"Don't know if I do," she mutters to herself, but by the way Maggie glares at her, she definitely heard.

Her pager buzzes and Meredith is glad it gives her an out, even though it cuts her rest time really short. Today is bound to be a very, very long day.

* * *

"You look happy," Mark says as soon as Derek enters the elevator.

His morning was blissful and he feels bad he's bouncing into work when people are sick and dying. Yet, his day is perfect so far. He's a resident, he had a very successful date with Meredith...his life is going the best it could go. He's coming in to work only to change his locker, get a new badge and scrubs, and then he's leaving, ready to spend the rest of his day with David, and enjoy every second with him.

Derek chuckles, glad to see his friend first thing in the morning. "I'm a resident, now."

"A resident who got laid last night?" Mark wiggles his eyebrows as if they were in high school.

"Who says I got laid?" Derek smirks, trying to keep the cards close to his chest for a second longer.

"Your...everything. And the hint of a hickey under your shirt."

"What?" Derek's eyes widen. "She didn't even –"

"Gotcha!" Derek rolls his eyes as Mark pats him on the back. "I knew you were getting some last night when I saw Mom and she had David."

"Speaks the one who has breakfast at Addie's place because he's a lazy cook. I know some of your secrets too, you know?"

Mark laughs. "Is she pretty?"

"Mark, you know her. Stop pretending. You know it's Meredith."

"She's giving in?" Mark's eyes widen.

"Slowly, but yes. I'm convincing her dating is a great idea."

"Good luck with that!" Mark laughs.

"Mark, she's amazing. She might look tough, but she's gentle and kind and she makes me laugh."

"Oh boy, you're in love!"

"I'm not! Not yet."

"Oh, jeez, I'm not equipped to deal with this. I need to page Addison." Derek chuckles at his friend's reaction.

"Mark, I'm not gonna go all mushy on you but I'm telling you, I can see a future there with her. A very long, very happy future."

Mark smiles. "I'm happy for you, man. Just...plan the midgets better next time when you have more, okay? I don't want any newborns on _my_ doorstep."

Derek laughs, happiness filling him. Loving Meredith makes everything brighter, even if she doesn't know. Even if it's too early for her to know.

He can't wait to see her face when he tells her, though, even if it will have to wait a while. He's ready for any kind of baby steps with her. He's not in any rush. There is a time for everything, even for a forever with Meredith Grey.

* * *

Meredith's already long morning turns into another twenty-four more hours of hell. It dawns on her how long she's been locked up in the hospital only when she sees Derek, and she remembers he was supposed to have a day off and then start his residency.

Derek promptly knocks at her door at seven-thirty in the morning sharp, after his rounds, just like the perfect resident she wishes she could always have. Meredith hates that she's less than enthusiastic to welcome him in.

"'Morning," she mumbles as a greeting, too tired to even lift up her gaze for more than a second to acknowledge Derek.

Part of her is afraid to look into his eyes and feel the love there, see all her weaknesses; she knows she's not equipped to deal with that at the moment, not as tired as she is.

"Um...I checked on Mr. Travis and he's doing okay. His ICP is down and he was still a little groggy from the anesthesia, but he passed all the other tests. I sent Ms. Walker for a repeat MRI to check on the developments of her occipital bleed as per your request. Mrs. Hutchinson's blood pressure is elevated and her leg was bothering her, so I called up a Cardio and Ortho consults, they'll page us with the results. What else? Jeez, you had a lot of patients yesterday." Derek chuckles, and she finally feels a smile come to her lips.

"Tell me about it." Of course, Derek doesn't miss her eye roll, and she knows he will be concerned.

"Can we become Meredith and Derek for a second?"

Meredith sighs. Part of her wants to keep the boundaries, but mostly she just wants to fall into his arms and sleep for the next two days straight. Her weak instinct prevails and she nods. She can't keep her guard up when she's this tired. "Yeah."

"Are you okay, Mere?" Derek murmurs, moving closer to her, almost as if he were trying to examine her better.

She wants to lie, but she knows her face is speaking for her, together with her whole body. She shakes her head. "I'm so tired, and I still have at least five more hours of shift."

"You've been here for more than thirty hours, you deserve a nap."

"Can't nap when people keep dying on the side of the road," she sighs deeply, finally lifting up her gaze.

When Meredith meets Derek's eyes, she melts. The concern there for her is so great she wants to burst into tears.

"Nelson could take some of the load off your shoulders." Derek frowns. She smiles bitterly. It shows he hasn't been here long.

"Nelson can't do half of the procedures I do. Or well, he can, but his success rate is not nearly half as successful as mine. He's good at the paperwork and the basic procedures."

"Yet he's running the department."

Meredith shrugs. "True. But sometimes I don't like all the paperwork that comes with responsibilities, I'm glad he's the one doing that and I can just do surgeries."

"You could ask the Chief for a promotion."

"Ellis will never give it a go. Most likely because I'm her daughter and people would cry of favoritism."

"You could try other hospitals."

Meredith shakes her head. "I can't. I'm not Department Head material. I don't have the patience to deal with people's problems. I have enough of my own."

It's Derek's turn to sigh. "We'll go over this another time, not during a thirty-six-hour shift, but I truly believe you could run a hospital, not just a department."

"That I cannot see. Not until my mother croaks."

Derek smiles as he moves closer. "You are an incredible person Meredith. I believe you can do anything."

Meredith feels herself blushing as she tries to shake off the flattery. Yet, Derek doesn't relent. He's still smiling brightly at her, making her feel gooey and lovey, in spite of all the tiredness.

"I don't need to be the head of anything, I just need five seconds when I'm not tired to the bone, when my shift is over, and when people don't purposely try to make my life harder."

"I can give you five seconds," Derek says, now looking smug. A soft smile appears on her face as well as he lifts her on her feet. "Okay, close your eyes."

"What? Why? I will fall asleep right here."

Derek laughs, and the twinkle in his eyes says to trust him. So she does. she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

First, she feels his lips on her left cheek, soft and prickly from his stubble, his nose warm against her skin. "One," he says, and she can feel his smile.

When he says "Two," his lips move to her other cheek, and she can feel his hands locking onto her arms to keep her still.

She was expecting him to say "Three" and keep counting, but not his lips on her neck. He tickles her in the most delicious way, especially when he sounds out "Four."

"Five" seals the deal, when she feels his lips on hers for the quickest of kisses, then she opens her eyes, and she can't help the wide smile on her lips.

"How was that?"

"Almost perfect," she admits, reveling in the sparkle of his eyes.

"Page me if you need five more almost-perfect seconds, then." He gives her another quick kiss before he steps away.

"I will," she says, grinning like a fool. How could only five seconds rejuvenate her is a mystery, but Derek himself is a mystery so she stopped dwelling on everything surrounding him long ago.

"Alright, back to business?"

"Back to business," she echoes, eager to see Derek at work on his first day as a resident.

Maybe dating is not the worst idea after all, especially if it comes with random five almost-perfect seconds.

* * *

 **A/N: The last scene is familiar, right? I always loved how sweet that was, and I felt like it needed to happen in this IWBY universe. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Fingers crossed for an update soonish!**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Hello, readers! This chapter is short, but at least it's something, right? I've been meaning to publish this for days, and something always comes up. I finally made it! Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 23**

* * *

If Derek thought internship was going to be the most hectic part of his medical training, he was wrong. Residency came with a whole lot more crap to deal with. It's exactly what he enjoys about it, but also what makes it dreadful.

Maybe the fact that he has a five-year-old kid and a budding relationship with Meredith he wants to foster is not the best combination for his medical career, but he wouldn't trade this craziness for anything in the world, because in all honesty, he has rarely felt this happy before.

He has decided to carve out a very short date night with Meredith tonight, just a quick bite together after work, since the end of their shifts matches, for once. This morning he gets to enjoy breakfast with his son, too.

Derek is staring at David, drenching his pancakes in syrup, a blissed out smile on his face. Sometimes he simply likes to look at his son and see how much he changes day by day. He's sure he will miss too much if he doesn't.

"Daddy, can we have a movie night tonight?"

Derek sighs. "I will be back too late, D-Man, I'm sorry."

"Are you working lots tonight, too?" David huffs, clearly disappointed.

"I'm going to have dinner with Meredith tonight."

"Why?" David frowns.

"Because this is what grown-ups do when they like each other. It's called a date."

"Do you just do dinner?" David asks, clearly interested in the topic.

"You can do many things, David, not just dinner. It can happen at any time of day. Sometimes we did breakfast or lunch with Meredith, other times you can do fun things like going to the movies, bowling, taking walks… Anything fun you can do with another person, it can be done as a date."

Derek hopes he's not failing at this explanation, because David looks slightly confused. David stabs a piece of pancake, staring at it for a long time, then sighs.

Derek is sure something big is going on in his head and this will not be the last question on dating as soon as David has processed this for a little longer.

Yet, their usual morning routine has to take precedence to any more questioning, even though David remains pensive all through the car ride to the hospital.

In the back of his mind, Derek hopes David gets what is happening right now between him and Meredith, and he knows he has to find better answers for his questions really soon. Maybe he can talk about it to Meredith herself tonight at dinner. Maybe she has great answers.

* * *

Meredith is almost sad she's not working with Derek today, but she's grateful they can have dinner together tonight.

Derek is a good resident, and she's glad she can have him all for herself once or twice a month, but she's also happy he gets to experience other specialties, so he can get well-rounded in every aspect of surgery. He is one of her best students, though, so she's always happy to have him.

She sees him bring David upstairs when they both enter the building, and she decides to pay the little boy a visit as soon as Derek has dropped him off. She feels like she hasn't seen David in forever, even though it has only been a day or two.

Meredith's early shift has not been pleasant so far, and she's looking forward to going home tonight, especially since the end of her shift coincides with her date with Derek. Seeing David can only top her day.

She goes upstairs and sees the boy hang his backpack in the cubbies outside the kindergarten room, talking with one of the other little boys in his class.

Meredith asks one of the teachers if it's okay if she says a quick hello, and they're happy to send him outside for a few minutes before they start their work.

She expects to see a bright smile from David, maybe a sleepy one, but not the frown that greets her. A very deep, angry frown.

"David, hey. How are you? Are you okay?" she asks, suddenly concerned that something bad has happened or he's not feeling well.

"I hate you!" David shouts, making Meredith's blood freeze in her veins.

She stares at the boy's red, angry face, the way his eyes are flashing, and her heart twists in her chest.

"David, – "

"I hate you! You're a Daddy stealer!"

Her eyes widen at the statement. A sudden guilt washes over her.

"David, I don't want to steal your daddy," she says, weakly. Clearly, too weakly for David's strong personality.

"But when you go on dates Daddy can't play with me. And I wanna play with him. He's my only daddy! You're stealing him from me! He's mine!"

"I'm not stealing him. He'll be forever yours, I promise," she emphasizes, but the boy doesn't seem to listen

"No more dates!" he shouts again, before he leaves her stunned in the hallway, winning some sympathetic glances from the teachers.

Maybe dating Derek has to come with more rules. That's why, for the rest of the day, whenever she spots Derek, she has to hide. She doesn't answer his texts, ignores his pages, rounds the corner whenever he's coming close. It might be childish, but it gives her some time to think things through.

Except Derek is good at finding her, even when she tries her best.

That's how she ends up here. Cornered in a stupid elevator. That's what happens to Meredith when she's not careful. She loses focus for a bunch of seconds in her haze of surgery tiredness and Derek finds a way to slip through the crack of the closing metal doors.

Meredith sighs loudly as he settles next to her, pulling the alarm.

"Why are you avoiding me?" His voice is not angry, but genuinely curious.

Meredith shakes her head, hoping the loud alarm can cover her silence.

"I know something is going on, but I don't know what it is. Did I do or say something wrong? Something that upset you?"

"It's not you –"

"Yeah, right, it's not you it's me?" Derek rolls his eyes. "Please, I want the truth."

Meredith sighs loudly enough to be heard over the alarm. "Can we do this somewhere else?"

"Gladly."

Derek leads them towards an empty lounge, and he even allows her to sit on the couch and sulk for a minute.

"Meredith..." His voice is gentle, his fingers reaching out to touch the back of her hand. Meredith flinches involuntarily, and Derek's expression fills with sadness.

"I don't think it can work between us," Meredith says bluntly, and Derek's face falls. She can see his heart ready to break, too.

"What?! Why?" She can see the confusion in his eyes and she hates herself for it. Her eyes well up with tears. She hopes she can answer.

"Your time is precious. You have a career to foster and a son to grow. You should focus on that, not on me. You're wasting time and energy on me, and it's not...I'm not…"

"Meredith, you're worth it. You're worth bending over backwards for." Derek sighs loudly. "Also, I'm pretty sure aliens replaced you, because if it was really you, you would have made a dirty joke out of what I just said."

She lets out a sad smile as he tries to break the ice, but it lasts for a couple of seconds at best.

"What is the issue, Meredith? Really, not vaguely." His tone is firm, not leaving her any room for further avoidance.

"David needs more time to play with you. I'm stealing you from him."

"Are you serious?" Derek looks amused, and it sets off a little bit more anger in her.

"Derek, that's what he thinks. He hates me, apparently."

Derek shakes his head, a grin on his face. "Of course he doesn't."

"How do you know?" Her voice is strong, and he doesn't seem to care. "Did you see his face when he said that?"

"Plenty of times," he admits, still smug. The more she thinks about it though, the more she's sure he's not actually making it up to make her feel better. He can see it in his eyes that he heard the same words from David's mouth, too. "So we should break up because David wants more time with me?"

Meredith shrugs. It does sound slightly silly, but she's running out of ideas.

"What about we bring him with us to one of these dates, make it an outing for the three of us, so we can spend time together _and_ David can spend time with us, too. Isn't that the best option?"

"Will he go along with it?"

"Meredith, if you promise him anything that sounds fun, he's in. And I'm in, even if it means I'd have to sneak in kisses to you while he's not looking."

Meredith lets out a sigh that is somewhere between relief and amusement.

"Should we try that?" Derek asks, squeezing her hand.

"Yes," Meredith replies, her voice soft but strong.

Derek's face lights up and he leans in, cupping her cheek and stroking her skin with his thumb. "Thank you," he says, before he pulls her hair behind her ears and then kisses her fiercely.

When they pull away Meredith feels wobbly, but not as sad as ten minutes ago.

"We'll tell David together," Derek says, his lips so close to hers still that she can feel his breath.

* * *

That's how they end up going to dinner all three of them that night, at the diner around the corner from the hospital instead of the new taco place they opened three blocks from there.

David looks sad as soon as Meredith joins him and Derek at their table, and he sighs loudly.

"Sorry Meri if I said I hate you," he mumbles, barely lifting up his eyes.

"David, of course I know you don't hate me, even though I was worried there for a minute. You seemed pretty angry this morning."

"I don't wanna lose my Daddy."

"And I don't wanna lose you two, so that makes us even. We'll surely work extra hard to keep each other, uh?" she says, smiling towards Derek too, hoping he got the message as well.

It's early in their relationship, but she's not ashamed to admit that she really cares for the two boys in front of her, carbon copies of each other. She can see this go somewhere, even though she can't clearly picture where.

For the time being, she wants to enjoy this new relationship development, wherever it might lead her. Even if it means dating at the zoo or in places with kids' menus.

* * *

 **A/N: I hope you liked this, even though David was not his happiest self, I like how vocal he gets in my head at times. Stay tuned for the next chapter, there's gonna be a surprise character coming!**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Hello, my faithfuls! I've been horrible at updating, but life has a knack for getting in the way of writing more and more as I grow old. It's kind of a short chapter, again, but better than nothing!**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 24**

* * *

Meredith's life settles into a rhythm that is so well-oiled and easy that she knows something bad is looming on the horizon.

Life cannot go _too_ easy on her.

Especially when she gets a patient with the hiccups. Hiccups is beyond easy, something bad is coming.

She regrets not scheduling two surgery days in a row as soon as she sees the chart. And why they're paging Neuro here is an even bigger mystery for her.

When she reads the chart and notices that Derek is the resident on the case she knows why: the guy is teasing her.

Sometimes Derek pages her for crazy ER cases just for her to unwind for a second during her paperwork-filled days and she loves how much something this simple helps her.

She sees him draw a privacy curtain and move closer to her with a smile on his face.

"So, this lady came in yesterday with the hiccups, they gave her chlorpromazine and she seemed fine. Then she shows up again this morning, still hiccuping, claiming that the drug doesn't really work," he says, sure of himself.

"Have you tried an endoscopic gastroplication?" Meredith says, watching his amused smile again.

"Suggested it. I was just paging you because she said yes and I still need attending supervision for this kind of procedures."

Meredith laughs at the childlike smile on his face, what she dubbed his David smile. That man. "Fine, let's go meet the patient."

They enter the room and before Derek can say anything, she already recognizes the woman. And specifically, her husband next to her.

 _So much for easy days_.

* * *

Derek is so excited to work alongside Meredith in one of what he calls "make your workday better" cases. He likes to surprise her with easy cases that still require attending's supervision, so they can spend some time together and she can take a break from the hard patients.

He's sure Meredith is gonna love meeting Susan.

"Thatcher?" Meredith says, when she spots the couple, the lightness and smile gone from her demeanor.

"M...Meredith," the older man stutters, his eyes wide. Even the persistent hiccuping from Susan seems to fade in the background as the tension mounts.

"What are you doing here?" Meredith says, surprise and maybe a hint of distress filling her tone. Derek is very confused by the behavior.

"Susan...We live nearby," the older man manages to get out clumsily, and it sounds like a big, fat excuse. "This is the best hospital in Seattle."

"Of course I know that." Meredith snaps, and she never snaps at patients, no matter how trying they end up being. Something is not adding up.

"I told you we should have gone to Mercy West," Susan says, which puzzles Derek even more. "Meredith, I'm sorry... _hic_...I didn't think you would be called to consult. Is there something... _hic_...neurological I should be concerned about?"

Meredith sighs. "No, not yet. It's just Der...Dr. Shepherd here likes to page me when we find an unusual or rare case to supervise him, so here I am. I will find another attending for you."

Derek really has no idea what to make of this. He can't understand what's going on at the moment, and everybody is acting like this is common knowledge. He hates feeling out of the loop.

Before Meredith can even exit the curtain, though, something even more unexpected happens. Chief Grey slides open the curtain of the trauma cubicle, peeking her head in.

"Dr. Grey, when you're done here I need a consult for my patient in…" And before she can finish the sentence, her eyes widen too. Her professional glance turns stony. "Thatcher. What the hell are you doing here?"

Derek is thoroughly confused now. "Mer, what's going on?" he whispers, as he watches Ellis Grey glare at the older man with fierceness. He has never seen her look that angry, not even when the interns decided to perform surgeries on themselves a couple of weeks ago.

Meredith grabs his arm and drags him outside, wandering for a moment as she trails him along. She finally hides in a small, cramped supply closet, shutting the door behind their backs.

She's breathing heavily and her eyes are wide and full of tears.

"Mere…"

"That man is my dad. My biological dad. My parents divorced when I was five. He cheated with Susan, my mom cheated with Richard. They divorced and I never saw him again. One day he was supposed to take me to the park, the next he had vanished into thin air."

"What?"

"I...My mom moved us to Boston and he never showed up. He got another family, other daughters, and we were left to fend for ourselves. And then we moved back because my mom was pregnant and all of a sudden, Thatcher had a new family, Mom and Richard were a family and I was in between. Nobody's child."

Before she can say anything more, Derek grabs her in his arms and holds her tightly. She squeezes him just as fiercely, and he can feel tears on his scrubs.

"I am so sorry. I wish I knew…"

"It's not your fault. You just wanted to make my day better." Her voice is broken, her whole body slumps against him.

Derek holds her, not sure how to comfort her after the revelation.

"I mean, Richard was wonderful to me, and I never told him or Mom what I felt about them. I kind of rebelled from age thirteen and went out of the house as soon as possible."

"I'm sorry you had such a hard time, I really am. I had no idea this case would drag up so many memories."

"We managed to patch things up, as you can see, so we're good. We're okay. It hasn't been easy, but we're here. It's just...everytime I see Thatcher I'm reminded of all that baggage and I'm not the nicest person to be around of."

"I'm still here, Mere," he smiles into her hair, as she buries herself deeper into his embrace.

The hum of the hospital fills their silence as they hug in the dim closet, their breathing in sync as their worries fade away.

* * *

When the next day comes, Meredith dreads going to work for the first time in ages.

Susan is still in the hospital after the endoscopic gastroplication. Complications arose, of course, and she's still in the General ward, fighting an infection. Ellis is on the warpath, even though Richard is trying to keep her calm and restore balance.

All of Meredith's problems came biting her in the ass in just a single day. On top of everything, she's trying to avoid Derek, because even though he's been amazing through all this, he's still her nosy boyfriend who wants to know more, and she's not ready to dig back into more memories just yet.

Yet, she's morbidly drawn to the room where Susan is.

Subtly, Meredith checks at the nurses' station if she can find her chart, see how her bacterial endocarditis is reacting to the antibiotics. She could ask Derek, who she thinks is still on Susan's case, but that would mean a much longer conversation than she can handle this morning.

Today, Meredith wants to hide in an OR and never get out until the end of her shift.

Again, the world has other plans.

Her breath hitches in her throat when, just around the corner and right in front of the nurses' desk, she sees Thatcher and his brand new daughters.

Meredith remembers meeting Molly during her first year of residency, when she came in to deliver her daughter and almost died. She had never met Lexie before, though, since at the time she was still studying at Harvard. Medical school, on top of it.

Lexie is now ready to graduate and enter the internship mill, and Meredith can bet she'll have to bear with her next year. She can't imagine how awkward it will be to have Maggie and Lexie in the same class.

"Meredith!" Lexie herself calls out, clearly eager for some news.

"Lexie, hey," Meredith mumbles, her lack of enthusiasm in the reply not a deterrent for the oldest of the Grey sisters to smile back.

"Do you know anything about Mom?" Lexie asks, and Molly and Thatcher seem to hide behind her.

"I was just about to find her chart," Meredith says, knowing it's not a complete lie. "I will be stuck in surgery all day most likely, so I wanted to check on her early on." Meredith is surprised by how easily she can lie to their faces. They believe her in earnest.

Meredith reads through Susan's chart, noticing that while her night has been tumultuous, the antibiotics seem to be working their magic. She had a relapse around three in the morning when they considered surgery, but the situation seems to have stabilized.

"From what I can see, she seems to be doing better," Meredith says, a sigh of relief coming from both Molly and Thatcher.

"What about the bacterial endocarditis. She was barely breathing during the night," Lexie points out.

"They increased the antibiotics, and she's responding better. It's still touch-and-go, but I'd relax if I were you."

She can see the hostility in Lexie's gaze that means she will never understand and part of her is sure she might never understand indeed. Meredith lets out a loud sigh before she politely excuses herself to hide in her OR.

Surgery, as usual, will save her life.

* * *

Meredith rubs the bridge of her nose, sitting in her office, wishing she could close the door and leave every problem behind. Even if the door is closed, all the problems followed her in here, and she cannot escape. She feels like she can barely breathe, as overwhelmed as she is.

Susan is almost okay now, even though she's still in the hospital, which is fortunate and unfortunate at the same time. Susan in the hospital means Thatcher and the daughters are there too, and she cannot deal with them any longer.

Meredith needs quiet and silence and alone time.

When her door flings open, she knows more doom is coming and she's relieved when she sees it's anything but doom.

"Hi, Meri!" David Shepherd is standing right in front of her, a smile on his lips, his dinosaur shirt already turning her day around.

"Hey, David, how are you? It feels like I haven't seen you in forever."

"It's been forever," he mumbles, coming closer.

She really, really wants to hug the little boy, but she knows she shouldn't. She didn't want to bother Derek for too long, even though he has always been supportive, but now she really, really needs some human contact to pretend she still has faith in people. To pretend that not all children will end up as screwed up as she is if they don't have a parent.

Meredith has not seen David in almost a week. She can't believe it's been that long, while usually she can catch a sight of the little boy almost every day. Yet, this week has been a pretty crappy one, especially toward the end, with Susan and Thatcher, Lexie and Molly, and even Ellis and Richard. She can now totally understand what it means for David to be overwhelmed.

"What were you up to this week? What fun stuff did I miss?" she asks, hoping to clear her mind from some of the craziness.

"Tons! You like ice cream, right?"

"I love it. Remember one of our first meetings?" David giggles when she recalls their very first ice cream date after she stitched up his forehead.

"We ate tubs and tubs of it. Well, I did. Daddy got me ice cream, then Nana also got me ice cream the day after and with Uncle Mark I had banana splits."

"Oh, jeez, I haven't had a banana split in years!" Meredith smiles. She wishes she could go back to a time when a banana split was the highlight of her day.

"Extra chocolate sauce _and_ whipped cream! Uncle Mark even had a cherry on it. Auntie Addie keeps teasing him for that."

Meredith laughs, imagining Mark and Addison babysitting – probably the night when Derek stayed by her side – and bickering like an old married couple.

When David laughs with her, some of the heaviness of her day can be easily set aside, and she's so glad David is here. She never imagined he would be the perfect therapy for her crappy day, but he is. He strangely is.

"Thank you, David, for making me laugh. I'm sorry I missed all these days. I promise we'll get to spend some time together, just us. Or us and your dad, if he wants to come along. How about that?"

"Yay! That's the coolest thing ever!"

David runs towards her and jumps in her arms and she squeezes him tightly, holding him as he giggles.

"Not too tight?" she asks quickly.

"Never!" he replies. "Do you need some burrito time, Meri?"

"Yeah. My day has been quite something so I do need some burrito time with you."

David's reply is only to tighten his little arms around her neck, and it helps. Burrito hugs do help. Even if her life is still shitty, hugging David makes it slightly less shitty.

"Burritos make everything better, Meri, don't you know?"

She does know. Sometimes she wishes she would have known earlier, even when the timing was horrible and she was in a bad place. But she'll take it right now.

* * *

 **A/N: David is cute and I *so* missed him. There was probably other stuff that was supposed to go in this chapter, but it's been so ridiculously long that I had to update. I hope you enjoyed anyway! Thank you for sticking around, you are the best readers.**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Hello, readers! I know it's been absurdly long because I remember thinking: "Well, maybe this year I can actually get out a Thanksgiving chapter at Thanksgiving", and then I moved to Chicago and started a Creative Writing class and it all came tumbling down. At least it's not Easter yet, right? But, the chapter is here, so enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 25**

* * *

Thanksgiving Day is an odd day in the Grey household. Since Ellis had always insisted on working holidays to give the chance to other people to celebrate, every holiday celebration has been shifted to a less conspicuous day during the years, especially as Meredith and Maggie got older. For Thanksgiving, breakfast has been chosen as the meal of choice, so that Ellis can go to work after it and work later into the night.

Meredith has started keeping up with the same tradition, especially since she really has nowhere else to be aside from the hospital. This is the first year for Meredith that she actually has someone who wants to celebrate with her. And very adamantly so.

"Meredith, why?"

Meredith sighs, looking at Derek's pleading eyes as he sits on her couch, while she stares at him from her office chair. "I booked my shift last year. I know people want to be home with their families today. I can't find a replacement on such short notice. I'm sorry."

Derek sighs as well. "When will you be done?"

"I have no idea. I usually stay until nine or so. Sometimes I even pick up half of the night shift. That's me, Derek."

Derek shakes his head.

"What do you want me to say? That I'll be home to eat some stupid turkey? Inconvenience someone to actually be there?" Meredith fuels, her eyes flashing with anger.

"I don't know, Meredith. I would want you to care!" Derek blurts before he can catch his tongue. He wants his feelings out in the open, but now he's not so sure it was a good idea.

"You're saying I don't care just because I'm working on Thanksgiving?"

"I'm saying that David has been excited for weeks about sitting next to you at Thanksgiving and now your spot will be empty."

Meredith pinches the bridge of her nose, taking a deep breath. "Get out of my office."

* * *

Derek knows he has pushed her. He has used guilt and tossed an unfair card on the table, but he's not lying either. Yes, David will probably understand if she's working, but he sure as hell won't be pleased about it.

Following through with Meredith's request to leave, Derek walks out of her office to change out of his scrubs, before he heads home. He has a long day ahead of him after his night shift, and he wants to get home early enough so he can sleep for a bit before the craziness of Thanksgiving overwhelms the house.

Most of his family is coming to his mother's, and it will be loud and crazy for a while. He's glad that the most traveling he has to do to get to dinner is to walk the two blocks between his apartment and his mother's house. He's still tired and sleepy, but David's chatter keeps him awake enough to walk.

"Daddy, and then we traced our hand with a crayon and we got a turkey!" David explains, showing him the slightly crumpled page with a hand turkey drawn on it.

David is so proud of his turkey he said he'd bring it to Nana's house, and Derek lets him. He has no more fight in him today. He's still a bit out of it after his night shift, and he feels like something is missing from this festivity since Meredith is at work. He can't quite place his feelings, but he knows he feels unsettled.

"The crayon near my hand was a little gross, but in my head I was telling what Benny tells me about crayons being nice and useful and then I made my turkey!"

"Good job, buddy." Derek praises him absentmindedly, feeling suddenly guilty at how little attention he's paying to his son. Meredith might not be here, but David is, and he deserves his full attention.

He tries to turn off Meredith's absence and turn on David's chatter, grateful for one more year with his crazy, lovable son. He wonders if he hasn't appreciated David enough lately, as consumed as he has been with the newness of being with Meredith, and he wants to make up for it.

David doesn't even knock when he arrives in front of his grandmother's door, he simply breezes right in. As Derek expected, the door is always open when his mother is having people over.

"Look at my turkey!" Derek hears David shout, smiling inwardly. If only he could be that happy with only a simple drawing.

"Wow, that surely needs to go next to all the other art your cousins brought!" Carolyn says, as Derek enters the kitchen and sees the paraphernalia of pots and pans and food, all ready to be consumed. "Hey, Derek!"

"Hi, Ma!"

"My goodness, you look wretched!" his mother says, enveloping him in a hug of turkey, mashed potatoes and a faint hint of cinnamon as Derek presses his nose in the crook of her neck.

"I had a short nap before I left the hospital, and then again as we watched a movie with David, but this night shift was something." He sighs loudly, letting go of his mother. "Do you need any help in the kitchen?"

"Nonsense, it's Kathleen's turn. You go catch up with your sisters. They all asked for you."

"I bet," he says, rolling his eyes. Of course they want all the best gossip about Meredith, but he's not in the mood to discuss her today.

The living room of his mother's house is brimming with people. He can hear the children's voices from the basement and from upstairs, probably having split themselves into older and younger ones, but the adults are enough to fill every seat in the room.

David has already disappeared somewhere where other children are, and Derek decides not to worry about him too much. He'll come by himself if he needs him, and his cousins are perfectly capable of dealing with him. In fact, Derek is almost scared of how well he and Liam, Kathleen's last who is exactly David's age, get along.

"The prodigal doctor is here!" Amelia announces, turning a few faces towards him.

"And he looks like shit!" Lizzie comes towards him and pulls him into a hug.

"I come from a night shift. I'm here for the food."

Everyone laughs as they alternate in greeting him. He has missed his sisters dearly, and it's always nice to have them around, especially when it's in small doses like this.

"So, how are you, Derek?" Nancy asks. "You really look worn out."

"Residency is not easy. David is not easy either."

Nancy smiles at his explanation, but it's Kathleen, the usual psychologist, who asks: "How is he doing?"

"He has adjusted to school marvelously. It's definitely something to behold."

"And you've been listening to Vance Joy like I suggested you," Amelia says, butting in.

"Maybe," Derek smirks. "How is Johns Hopkins treating you?"

"Could be worse. I could be the one with tumors."

Derek laughs at Amelia. He has missed her funny, odd personality. Sometimes he can see a lot of her in David, and he's glad David has inherited the funny gene of the family. It makes getting through hard times much more bearable.

As he starts going around the room, Derek asks all the other sisters how they are doing, and they give him brief updates on their families, their different medical specialties, and a quick rundown of how the kids have changed. He gets updates from them often enough, especially through social media, but he's still a big fan of learning news in person. The various husbands pitch in as well, all in all making the wait for dinner fly by.

Derek is always amazed by how effortlessly his mother sets up the dining room and prepares all the food without them noticing. Of course they have tried to help, and only Kathleen was the designated helper this year, which means that anyone else who tried to even grab a napkin was immediately evicted from the kitchen. All the grandchildren were the ones who had to set the table, just to add to Derek's apparent uselessness. Part of him is grateful for the rest and the chatting, though.

The families gather around the table, no difference between children and adults, even though the cousins tend to stick mostly together as an implicit rule. Derek is glad David is still sitting next to him, though.

"Daddy, is Meri coming?"

Derek sighs loudly, having dreaded – and dragged – this moment for as long as possible. "D-Man, I don't think she can make it to dinner today."

"What?!" David frowns. "She's not eating turkey? Is she with her family?"

"She's working today." Derek sighs. "She wants to save all the people who get hurt on Thanksgiving."

"Is that her way to say thanks?"

"Maybe. In a way, yes."

David scrunches up his nose, staring at his plate. "I'm sad she's not here, but I'm happy the hurt people will get the nicest doctor to help."

"Oh, David. You're being really understanding. It's really kind of you to think that." Derek feels like they're treading on very thin ice, but maybe David gets it better than he does.

"Maybe we can bring her some of Nana's turkey. She makes the bestest ever for sure!"

"Maybe," Derek says, a few scenarios starting to spin in his head.

"Derek, who's Meri?" Kathleen asks. She lives in Chicago and it's easy to hide something like Meredith from her. Surely easier than hiding it from Lizzie or Amelia.

"Meri is Daddy's date!" David starts eagerly, turning Nancy's face quickly to him. "Sometimes we all go on dates together, and it's so fun! She's a brain doctor and she did my stitches when I fell on Nana's table. See!" He leans forward towards his aunt Kathleen, showing her his forehead.

Kathleen's eyes widen a bit, as she smiles at David's very faint scar, then turns to Derek. "How long have you been dating her?"

"A few weeks. She met David by chance and they get along really well."

"Does she know the whole story of how you got him?" Lizzie asks.

"Yeah. She thought I was crazy, too."

"Mmm, I think I like her already," Amelia says. "Bring her over for Christmas, will ya? If I bother leaving the hospital, maybe she can too."

Derek rolls his eyes, then glances towards David, who is luckily oblivious to the conversation.

"Is she your boss?" Nancy asks, almost as if she just put together the information when David mentioned Meredith being a brain surgeon.

"Technically, no. My boss is the Chief Resident, not her. But practically, she's above the Chief Resident, so…"

"That's fuc...fudged up, Derek," Nancy says, eyeing him carefully. "Are you taking advantage? Is she taking advantage?"

"That's definitely not why we're dating, Nance. She's amazing, kind, and loyal. I couldn't wish for a better girlfriend."

"Man, you sound really serious about her. That's scary, Derek," Amelia jokes.

"It feels serious. It's not just about me anymore, and these two together are a hoot. We don't know each other all that well just yet, but I want to know her. Hopefully, you can meet her at Christmas."

"Girls, I've met Meredith multiple times and she's a lovely woman. Your brother couldn't do better," Carolyn butts in, making Derek blush slightly.

"Thank you, Mom."

"Mom, where's Markie?"

"He'll come round later, he and Addison are attempting some celebration with her family, but I'm not sure if Mark will come out of that unscathed," Derek says, filling the room with laughter.

"I can't believe Mark and Addison are finally making it somehow official. Mark being a one-woman kind of man seems utopia." Amelia laughs, shaking her head.

"I say it's about time he gives me some grandchildren too. Unless you want to be next, Amy?" Carolyn asks, making Amelia pale.

"Nope. Residency is tough enough as it is. How do you even have time to date, Derek?"

"It helps if your date works with you," Liz adds. "Do you consider a surgery together a date? That could be romantic."

"We take what we can get, Amy. And Lizzie...It's a juggling act, especially when you add David to the equation, but it's worth it. She's worth it."

"Damn, he has it bad," Nancy says, clearly unfiltered after her third glass of wine. The rest of the room laughs again, making Derek blush.

"Okay, let's stop with the teasing Derek time and turn it into teasing someone else time, alright?" Derek jokes but manages to effectively shift the conversation.

Dinner stretches well after sunset, and by the time they are having dessert, Derek knows Meredith's shift is almost over. He keeps glancing at his watch, then sends her a text, wondering if she's staying the night or not.

The fact that she doesn't answer means that she's probably in surgery, and he takes that as a good sign. Maybe he will be able to catch her when she gets out and bring her some turkey, per David's suggestion.

It's six forty-five in the evening by the time Derek and David are able to get away, their stomach full and a canvas bag full of containers with a taste for each leftover item. When they finally make it into the Neuro ward, Derek recognizes Debbie at the main desk and gives her a smile.

"Dr. Grey is in surgery. She might be a while," Debbie says, even before he can ask.

"Oh, thank you. I guess we'll sit there and wait for her, David."

David sighs, suddenly looking very tired. "Daddy, will you read me a book from the shelf?"

Derek smiles. "Go get one."

David walks quietly towards the small bookshelf in the corner of the waiting room, picking out a couple of board books that Derek knows are among his favorites.

They sit on some plushy but not all that comfortable armchairs, David's head leaning down on the armrest of Derek's as Derek finds the most comfortable spot as he starts reading.

His weariness gets to him fast, and even David conks out fast asleep by the end of the first book. Derek decides that there's no better time than now for another nap and, steadying his breathing, falls asleep as well.

* * *

Meredith pockets her scrub cap as she stares at her reflection in the glass of the scrub room. This is what she's grateful for, saving lives on holidays. Bringing back grandfathers and mothers and children to their families. It had been a marathon, after the horrible accident on the interstate, but all three passengers of the car were alive and doing surprisingly well.

She is not staying the night at Seattle Grace tonight, she needs sleep. The clock already reads nine thirty-two, she could easily go home now.

Meredith drags her tired self to the nurses' station, smiling at Debbie, asking for all her charts of the day. She needs to know who would look after her patients if she leaves. And it better not be Edwards or one of the brand new interns.

"Dr. Shepherd came around asking for you," Debbie says, interrupting her filing for a moment.

"Thank you, Debbie." Meredith takes a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment, seeking the clarity of darkness. She's not sure if she's happy or not he stopped by, asking for her.

"He's still here," Debbie says, smirking as she points to the waiting room and the only two lumps of people on the chairs. "Happy Thanksgiving. I'm glad you were able to save those people."

"Likewise." Meredith smiles, but it fades slowly.

She signs her charts quickly, then turns to stare at Derek and David. She sees the bag next to them, and she knows why they're here. She cannot ignore them. As uneasy as their last encounter has been, she needs to clear the air between them, make peace. She might be too tired to do it effectively, but she hopes Derek will understand.

Slowly and quietly, she sits down next to Derek, then gently rubs his stubbly cheek. She stamps a lingering kiss there, and Derek's eyes open groggily.

"Hey," she says, smiling gently. Even though they haven't left on the happiest note, she's really happy to see him.

"Hi," he groans, cracking his neck as a smile slowly spreads on his cheek. "What time is it?"

"Almost ten."

"This will not be good for my back," he growls, stretching a bit, careful not to jostle David next to him. The boy is still fast asleep on the armrest, mouth slightly open, hands tucked under him. "Or David. Good thing I'm off tomorrow and he doesn't have school, cause I don't see him going back to sleep after I take him home."

Meredith smiles at the boy, restraining herself from caressing his wild hair. He looks so peaceful, even though he's twisted up like a pretzel in his chair.

"Look in the bag," Derek says, his turn to smile. "It might not be as good as when we got here, but we tried."

Derek hands her the bag and she peeks in, seeing a little pile of containers, a little bag with bread rolls, and even napkins and silverware. She doesn't need to open the lids to figure out what they contain.

"Did you save this stuff for me?" She swallows thickly the lump in her throat, wondering if they actually left an empty seat at their Thanksgiving table.

"My mom makes so much food that we all have our sets of leftovers. I promise, nobody was deprived of anything. We don't look forward to eating turkey until Christmas," he jokes.

Meredith's stomach makes the tiniest growl, reminding her that while in surgery it forgets about everything; when she's done, she needs to recharge.

"Eat, come on!" Derek pokes her playfully, her turn to grin. "I'll be stuffed until tomorrow, anyways."

"I bet."

Meredith grabs one of the bread rolls, slices it open, then fishes around for the sliced turkey. She uses the lid as a plate as she builds her turkey and stuffing sandwich, then lightly microwaves it.

At the first bite, she's in food heaven. Bliss coats her papillary glands as she chews, a moan escaping her lips.

"Shoot, I really missed out, didn't I?"

Derek's response is only a low chuckle. "My mom is an amazing cook, you know that."

"But this is...this is perfect, Derek. Stuffing is my very favorite part of Thanksgiving and this...goodness gracious, I might faint from taste overload."

Derek's eyes shine with pride. "We still use my dad's recipe for the stuffing. He taught my mom the first year they were married, but he was always the one in charge of making it, as he smoked the turkey. Now my mom makes everything but still lets one of us help with the stuffing. This year it was Kathleen's turn, next year is me. Nancy goes for Christmas."

"Wow. Just...wow."

Meredith keeps eating, unable to express with words the amazingness of the sandwich, so she lets her little moans of pleasure speak for her. Derek doesn't seem upset by the lack of conversation anyway.

After she finishes the last morsel, Meredith looks deep into Derek's eyes, feeling that this is when they actually talk about the mid-sized elephant in the room.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there." She closes her eyes, unable to look at him.

Derek sighs. "Meredith, it's okay – "

"I saved a man, his daughter, and granddaughter today. Their car was crushed by a drunk guy driving the wrong way on the interstate. They could have died, but they're all alive. Because I was here. Even if I had been at your dinner, they would have called me. Neurosurgery is me, Derek. Holidays might never come first for me."

"I understand it, I do. But being there and leaving because you need to save lives is different than not showing up at all." Derek's words are carefully chosen, yet his tone betrays the still lingering irritation in him.

"I've never done this before, Derek," Meredith admits.

"What?"

"The whole relationship thing, when it gets to the point that you meet the family. I know your mom already, but family events? I've never been to one that wasn't with my odd family unit."

"We might look scary, but we're not, I promise," Derek says, smiling, his hand reaching out to tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"This year I really couldn't take off, though. Even if I wanted to."

"I know. But you still could have said that you would try to make it, and then you'd show up there instead of me coming here."

"I would not show up at your mom's house at ten in the evening to get food."

Derek chuckles. "She'd be offended if you didn't."

"Still, Derek. I'm not the girl you bring home to meet the family."

"Why?" Derek looks puzzled and Meredith sighs. How he cannot get it is beyond her.

"Look at me. I'm dark and cloudy. Families like bubbly and happy, like your buddy Izzie."

"If David loves you Mer, my family will adore you. David is the toughest judge of character I've ever met, and he's smitten, probably more than me. If you won him over, my family will accept you with open arms."

Meredith shakes her head. "And then what? You come over for dinner at Ellis' house? Golf with Richard? We're messed up. I'm messed up. It cannot end well."

"But how about we try it? Maybe just one sister at a time. You really don't need to meet Nancy." Derek shudders, and his reaction almost amuses Meredith to the point of a smile. Yet, something is still holding her back.

"I don't know…"

"How about my mom only? Just her and her amazing cooking."

"That's not playing fair. After this stuffing is definitely not playing fair."

"I never said I was playing fair." Derek grins. "So Mom and Amelia, then?"

Meredith groans. "Christmas. I will come over, briefly, for Christmas. And then I'll go back to work."

"You can fake a page anytime, Mer. I promise. No judgment. Disappointment, yes, but no judgment. But heck, if it's decidedly bad, I'll even fake-page you to give you an out."

A smile makes its way to her lips. "You'd do that?"

"I'm confident I won't have to. Also, as a heads' up, Christmas means sugared up kids. Thanksgiving would have been much easier."

Meredith lets out a groan that sends Derek into a fit of chuckling. Luckily, David stays asleep.

"You know this doesn't help me think I made the right decision, right?"

Derek smiles widely. "I know," he says, and then he leans over and kisses her. Soft and gentle, his lips brush away the last of her fears, at least for the time being.

As she pulls away, she can taste the pumpkin pie from Derek's lips, and she lets out a smile, looking forward to exploring all the food in her bag.

This Thanksgiving is surely going into her own personal Top Ten ever.

She's definitely grateful for Derek and David this year, no questions asked.

* * *

 **A/N: Weird that I'm craving stuffing right about now? Where do I find it in March? Hopefully, you're in better luck and know where to get some! Thank you for reading, still, and sticking with me, even when it takes me months to get updates out. Running out of pre-written updates is no fun :(**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Hey there, readers! Welcome back! As I get back into the groove of writing (and finishing) all my fanfictions, I hope you can keep me motivated through this. I might not always be on time, but I'll try to work on this and BISY until the very end.**

 **Even though I'm not super happy with this, I didn't want to hold out any longer. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 26**

* * *

"Meredith –"

"Derek, breathe."

Meredith smiles when Derek inhales loudly, looking at her with puppy dog's eyes, then exhales just as loudly.

"It's just...I've never left him with anyone that wasn't my mother overnight. Ever. I'm freaking out more than him right now."

Meredith's smile widens at his admission. She feels entrusted with a precious gift right now, and while she is slightly scared herself, she needs to appear calm and confident so she doesn't freak out Derek more than he already is.

"Derek, I've been here for a couple of mornings in preparation for this. I know where his physical therapist works. I know to move the elf –"

"Shit, I almost forgot about Dash!"

Meredith grins. "See, I'm ahead of you."

"I swear, I need to put an alarm to move it these days. Too many things going on." Derek shakes his head sadly.

"Hey, you're killing this holiday season, so far. Thanksgiving was amazing, this house looks like the North Pole, and David is happy. He is happy. What more would you need?"

"I don't know," Derek says, sighing.

* * *

The way Derek said goodbye to David before leaving for work was almost heartbreaking, yet too cute to even put into words. David, of course, has not realized the magnitude of this until after dinner, when instead of Meredith leaving for the night, she tells him to get in the shower, get jammies on and brush his teeth.

"Meri, you're not leaving tonight? You having a sleepover?"

Meredith smiles. "Yeah, remember? Daddy is at work and I'll be here with you overnight."

David hums, nodding, a frown on his face. "Can you help me pick out jammies and a book?"

"Of course!"

David's room is full of dinosaurs and cars and trains, a true boy room, with a cartoon sharks comforter and blue tones all around. His selection of books is almost as wide as his selection of toys though, with two full bookshelves to choose from.

"These are my favorites!" David says, picking out two slim picture books. He giggles at one of these. "You know, before I knew how to read, Daddy used to read this to me and always said 'Are you my daddy?' instead of 'Are you my mommy?' isn't this silly?"

"A little bit," Meredith smiles, though she understands Derek's motivations. It's sweet that David can call him out on this now, though.

"See, it says 'Mommy'. Em-o-em-em-wye. Mommy!"

"Good job, David! I think you can read all this by yourself by now." Meredith laughs as he shakes his head.

"Noooo! I just know a couple of words. Mommy is easy. Lots of the same letters. Like daddy."

"That's true."

"Can you read it to me?"

"Certainly. Shower time and teeth brushing first, though."

"And jammies, or we'll read naked!" David laughs loudly, as he saunters to the nearby bathroom, shedding his clothes in the process.

Meredith feels a little awkward, standing there as David showers, but he keeps the conversation alive, and she just sits on the toilet lid, reminding him to wash his hair and rinse all the soap out. She doesn't want to touch him, especially not since he's so vulnerable like this, and she's glad she doesn't have to step in at any time. He even does a pretty good job of drying himself off and wearing pajamas, though the teeth brushing requires much more cajoling.

David is a master at cute and entertaining delays.

By the time they're actually ready to read, it's cutting it really close to bedtime, but Meredith decides that for once a few minutes more of reading will not hurt him.

She lays down beside him, with David already under the covers as she sits close to him. He's the one that snuggles into her side, his wet hair dripping on her forearm.

"Is there time for the whole thing?" he asks.

Meredith makes a show of glancing at her watch. "I think there is,"

"Yay!"

David is asleep before Meredith has read through half of the first book.

* * *

"This is gross." David blurts, pushing the plate away from his sight.

"David, please, eat your toast."

"I _hate_ toast. I want pancakes."

While their evening had been peaceful and relatively uneventful, David seems to have woken up on the wrong side of the bed. Since he opened his eyes, he's been grumpy and impossible to please, and Meredith is almost at the end of her rope.

Meredith turns towards him with a stern look in her eyes, trying to go past the sadness and the hurt. "You have to eat toast this morning, until your Nana comes back from New York to take care of you and your Daddy is not at work."

"Daddy makes the _best_ pancakes!" He kicks the table, making the plates and the silverware rattle.

"But Daddy is not here to make pancakes, I am. And I suck at cooking." Meredith exclaims, exasperated.

"Ya suck at a lot of stuff."

Meredith turns around and stares at David with a look that freezes the blood in his veins. David looks guilty for a second, but he does not apologize. He is so uncannily like Derek sometimes Meredith feels the urge to do a double take, if it weren't for his size.

"You know what, if you hate your toast, you can go to school without breakfast."

"Fine." He grumbles, stomping out of the kitchen.

Meredith takes a shaky breath as she braces herself against the counter. Her whole body is shaking. She bosses people around every day, but David always leaves her tired to the bone. She feels bad for yelling at him, but she knows he deserves it all the same, the conflict eating her alive.

When he comes back with his shoes on and carrying his backpack, she slides a granola bar to him, on top of his lunch box.

David takes it reluctantly, but he thanks her in a barely audible whisper.

"Look, David," she says with a sigh, crouching to be at his eye level. The boy stares at her with expectation, as she fixes the collar of his sweater. "I know you miss your Daddy, and I know I'm not as fun as your Nana, but you need to listen to me. We should be a team, so that when Daddy comes back from his shift, he'll be happy we are now even better friends. Do you want me to be your friend?"

David studies her. "How come you sleep on the couch?"

"Because you guys only have two rooms, and I can't steal Daddy's bed, can I?"

"But that's uncomfortable."

"I'll be fine, Nugget. It's just for one night."

David looks suddenly concerned. "You sure?"

"I am." Meredith smiles, squeezing the boy's shoulder. "I'll be there to pick you up this afternoon at three thirty, alright?"

David nods. "I have my games after."

"Right!" Meredith fake slaps her forehead, making him giggle. "I haven't forgotten about your funny games with Benny, silly," she winks, physically turning him around.

The boy giggles, as she squeezes him into the car, his smile still bright.

"Meri?" He sighs, as soon as the laughter has calmed down.

"What is it, D-Man?"

"You are the only one that touches me as much as Daddy."

Meredith's heart melts. "I can give you some burrito therapy tonight if you need more..."

"Really?"

Meredith smiles. "Of course. You only have to ask."

Meredith sees David smile from her rearview mirror. Then his eyes widen. "Meri!"

"What? Did you forget something?"

"Dash! I haven't seen him! Did he leave because I was being bad?" She can almost see David's heart racing at the mere idea.

"I didn't see Dash. Maybe he had a good hiding spot."

"Can we please go back? Can we? I need to find him!"

Meredith checks her watch, and she realizes that they still have a few minutes. They can still make it if he looks for the elf. "Yes. Let's go. We need to find him fast, though!"

"Can you help me?"

Meredith smiles. "You look on the ground floor, I'll look for him upstairs."

She knows exactly where Dash is, but she'll pretend. For David, she'll pretend. She already sent him in the right direction to speed up the process anyways.

She climbs upstairs and pretends to walk around, hearing David running from room to room on the main floor, until she hears him shout her name.

"I found him!"

Meredith smiles. She hurries downstairs, pulling up her best surprised face when she sees the elf dangling from a window in the dining room.

"Dash left some candy!" David smiles so widely it's contagious as he shows the two candy bars in his palm. "Can I have it after school?"

"If you promise to be good, yes, you may have it after school."

"I'll be the best boy in my class!"

Meredith laughs all the way to the car.

* * *

David of course got his candy, especially since he promised to save some for after his physical therapy too. He put in a lot of effort, and Benny involved her too in some of the exercises, to see how David would react to her presence there and not Derek's.

"He really trusts you." Benny had commented, which could only bring a smile to Meredith's face, yet make her freak out internally.

This glimpse of real life with David, not just seeing him for a few odd hours here and there, is making her brain run in circles. She likes the predictability, yet she wonders if it is really something she could handle twenty-four seven, three-hundred and sixty-five days a week. Can she trade some surgical hours for bedtime stories and arguing over toast? She's not sure.

She only knows she feels like she can exhale loudly when Derek walks into the door, looking worse for the wear but with a smile that could melt glaciers.

"And then we saw Benny and I ate candy and dinner and more candy and now you're here!" David is saying, as he monopolizes Derek's attention as soon as he has walked into the door.

"Breathe, D-Man," Derek says, and David makes a show of taking a huge breath and exhaling, tumbling into a fit of giggles.

"Was it fun with Meredith these past couple of days?"

David nods. "I like having her here, Daddy. But she needs to learn how to make pancakes."

Derek laughs, and Meredith blushes slightly. "We'll see what we can do about that, David. Maybe we can teach her?"

"Nana can teach her too! Christmas pancakes are the best pancakes to learn, and Nana always lets me help. Will you come and see Nana with us for Christmas, Meri?"

Meredith's eyes widen, her throat suddenly dry. How can she crush his happy little Christmas-enthusiast spirit?"

"David, maybe she already has plans with her mommy, you know?" Derek chimes in, much to her relief. He totally saw the panic in her eyes as he glanced her way, and she's grateful he already knows her cues so well.

"Her mommy can come too. It's okay. Nana likes having people."

"That she does." Derek sighs. "But it's her family, maybe they want to spend time together, you know?"

David deflates. "Okay. I understand. It would be fun, though."

Meredith swallows thickly, knowing she will regret this deeply, but she cannot resist David. "I'll see what my mommy says about Christmas, and if she's okay with this, I'll join you, okay? It surely sounds like a fun Christmas you're gonna have!"

David starts rambling on and on about all the presents and the traditions, and Meredith knows she should pay attention, but she can't bring herself to stop the swirling in her brain. Because yes, she has almost agreed to celebrate Christmas with David and Derek, aka meeting his family, and she's not sure she'll ever be ready for this. She knows – and likes – Carolyn, but all his sisters and husband and kids? She's probably not equipped to deal with such a humongous amount of family. Not now, not ever.

What the heck has she thrown herself into?

Derek's surprised, yet pleased, gaze and David's excited voice are the only sources of relief.

It is going to be a long, long Christmas season.

* * *

 **A/N: Unseasonal much? Probably. This event is as epic as the Royal Wedding though, so cherish it, even though I feel like it's a bit of a filler. I hate filler chapters, but sometimes they tide you over to the good parts. Sorry for this just filling empty space!**

 **Again, thank you for reading this story, still. I appreciate each and every one of you, whether you review, favorite or simply lurk in the background reading.**


End file.
